Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
99 · Apr 2021
7 am
God, coffee smells delicious

fresh coffee
Straight from the ***
It tastes so good, and--

O U C H ! ! !

It burnt me
But at least it tasted good
98 · Mar 2021
On Me
Laying my head on your chest
Has never felt so wrong
yet so right
97 · Mar 2021
Moving Too Fast
I want to take you in my arms
We met 2 days ago
But you are so sweet
and kind and caring
and I have never known anything
Like that before you
So
Is this okay?
Or does love have its speed limits, too?
97 · Mar 2021
Last Man Standing
What would you have to say about the world if you were the last man standing?
No, not the last man standing on the entire planet.
Imagine you had just finished a war and you were the last man standing.
Would you lose your faith in humanity??
Would you recognize that you have just slayed real people??
Who had families??
Would you feel pride that you have defeated the enemy??
Or maybe regret?
Guilt?
Numbness?
Your face is covered in someone else’s blood,
You’re trembling,
You’re processing,
And you’re thinking.
Perhaps thinking so much that you forget how you feel??
What would you have to say about the world if you were the last man standing?
96 · May 2021
Chemical Imbalance
We had so much chemistry
And it was going great
I thought you were wonderful
But you thought I was strange
95 · Apr 2021
In My Head, I Guess
My alarm in the morning screeches
And I woke up with a headache
And a strong desire to just
GO BACK TO SLEEP

I came out of my room
Skipped the breakfast
"What's wrong?"
****, I've been caught.

"Just... In my head, I guess."
She, who's life I'm curious about
The way she's always smiling
when people are around
And her smile brightens the whole room
I could see her smile from Mars
But she, who's life is tragic
Ignorance is bliss
I imagine her feeling nothing but happiness
I imagine her life at home is splended
Filled with love, hugs, affection
I imagine she's happy
And ignorance
is bliss.
95 · Apr 2021
My Best Friend's Advice
Listen
You know I love you
I really do
But you're
How do I say this
You're
Well
You're kind of ****** right now, mate.
I think you need to figure your **** out
Before you go to her
95 · Mar 2021
Parents
Stop trying to live your dreams vicariously through your kids.
I cannot keep up with all these assignments,
I cannot keep up with all these extracurricular activites
I can't keep up
Because you couldn't do it yourself
95 · Mar 2021
Jealousy
When I see you walking around with someone else
I wonder if you might actually go somewhere
95 · Mar 2021
Sister
I recognize that you need an idol,
but I am not that person.
94 · Mar 2021
Happy Birthday To Me
He sat by his kitchen table, alone, eating the chocolate cake he had bought the day before.
Just like last year, nobody remembered.
93 · Mar 2021
Because I Remembered
I lied down on the floor
To go to sleep
Not wanting to sleep in the bed
Because I remembered.

I put down my blanket
And flopped into the pillow
And I jolted up
More flashbacks

I remember how I made a pallet
On the floor
Too scared
To be in the same bed with you

So
I picked up my blanket
Threw it on the bed
Sat down on the floor
In the emptiness of my room
And didn’t sleep

Too scared of the thought of you.
93 · Apr 2021
Dream Girl
My girl's a princess
Though her mismatched socks
And scraped knees
'Unladylike'

My girls beautiful
Although
I don't yet know
What she looks like

My girl's a dork
And that is the best thing about her
My girl's gorgeous
My girl's perfect

Though, I don't yet know
Anything about her
93 · May 2021
Forgetting Everything
"Sorry, what's your name again? No, give me a second, I got it."
I forgot your name
"Sorry, I don't really remember anything before 6th grade!"
My memory is awful
Trauma made me block it out

Sorry, what was I saying?
He broke up with his girlfriend, I think
"Darling, I miss you,"
Yeah, he broke up with his girlfriend
"But not enough to hurt"
He's getting over her
"And darling, I'm sorry,"
Ah, here it comes
"But now I love her"
Ouch

A sad life
To be the girlfriend
Of a guitarist who nees
Some money

But a fulfilling one
Nonetheless
92 · Mar 2021
Burden... Pt. 2
I feel guilty
For existing
92 · Mar 2021
The Bar
The stale smell
of beer
and wasted lives
92 · Apr 2021
Accusations Annoy Me
It's frustrating
To not be able to speak
It's frustrating
To have accusations thrown at me
It's frustrating
to be told to 'stop pouting'
It's frustrating
that you're frustrated
over every
single
thing
91 · Apr 2021
Only A Place
It's only a place
It's only a place
It's only a place
"But it was only a place"

"And you weren't here."
90 · Mar 2021
Burden
Sorry
Sorry
I'm so sorry
I'm sorry
My bad
They say make your dreams come true
In my eyes I can fly,
is that what I should try and do??
I hope that I can fly
It's a sad way to go,
To jump, flap your arms, and die.
I'm reachin' down the side of my bed.
If my phone dies I'll have left you on read,
Unfortunately, it's about to be dead,
I'm sorry.
Everyone hates me, can't pick up the phone,
I always say it's just cause I haven't been home,
The truth is I just don't care 'til you're already gone
And now you're nowhere to be seen
I'm checking your social gallery
Just to see ya
I've tried everything
I've tried to sing to make you stay
But my words just make you go away,
Don't leave me.
I need help but I don't want it
Somehow, though
You always seem to try and fix me
Are you out of your ****** mind?
You have stepped way out of line,
Fixing me isn't your job, it's mine.
My YouTube name is Illiterate Cardinal 007 for anyone interested in hearing how I sang the song XD
I've been doing
Pretty horrible, but I hope you're well
I hope you're happy
Up there in Heaven, cause I'm stuck in hell
I didn't use to
Believe in Christianity, God, or anything
I read the Bible
As a mechanism to pretend you're okay
I hope, however
If there's a 'Heaven' that you're up there
Where are you darling?
I hope you're at least somewhere
Cause it's scary to think
When you die, you go nowhere. ...
So, here lies the love of my life,
I hope that they're somewhere
89 · Mar 2021
Autophobia
it is the least threatening name
for a fear so threatening
A fear so horrifying
A fear so..
so...
Automatic.
Just like that.

A snap,
and you're alone.
87 · Mar 2021
Time
I do not love you, and you do not love me, either. I have stolen your first kiss, your spare time, and everything in between, but God forbid I ever take your heart.
I'm not good with hearts.
87 · Mar 2021
Empty
Dinnertime
I ignore my mother calling me
Just as my stomach rumbles
Just as my stomach stings
And I am starving,
But I will not get up
Because I'm not hungry enough
I feel like I'm about to *****
My saliva has turned sweet
And I gag every once in a while,
But I will not get up
Because I am not hungry enough
I feel empty,
Like there should be more inside me
And I mistake it for an emptiness
That stems from depression
An emptiness that says something is missing
From only my mind
And not from how little I have been eating recently
It's not a disorder,
I am just not hungry
While other kids eat their lunch
I gather some celery sticks and some broccoli
maybe drink a little juice
And then I'm finished.
I'm not finished as in I am no longer hungry,
I'm finished as in I will not get up.
Because, although I am hungry,
I am not hungry enough.
86 · Mar 2021
Sharpener
I was cleaning my room
And I found another one
My parents had hidden every other one
But that one
I felt joyful
To hurt myself
after
too
long
86 · Mar 2021
Itching
We talked about my future, and my skin began to itch,
Because I have no ideas for it that I want to pitch.
My mom says be a surgeon, my dad says just get rich,
So we talked about my future, and my skin began to itch.
I sat on my bed itching, trying not to cry.
My brother asked what’s wrong, so I knew I had to lie.
I said, “Oh, it’s nothing!!” He shrugged and said goodbye,
Leaving me alone to itch and just try not to cry.
We talked about my feelings, I started to itch my arm,
Because all this weight I was carrying began to bring me harm.
I told her, “I’m okay, love.” She smiled and said I had charm,
Then she left me all along in there, so I had to itch my arm.
The skin peeled off, I scratched and picked too terribly,
I cried and sobbed while my newly naked arms began to slowly bleed.
The skin was in my fingernails, a bandage my arm needs,
I got up to go and get one while the blood came up in crimson beads.
I opened my eyes to a deserted highway. Sand was rearranged on the ground by the soft breeze, which caressed my cheek as it went by. The heat wasn’t too hot to bare, but it was enough to make me take off the jacket I always wore and tie it around my waist.

I hopped up on the tailgate of my rusty black truck and swung my feet back and forth. I cranked up the volume of the old radio and hummed along, leaning back and looking at the light blue sky.

A donkey cried to my right and birds cawed all around me. The donkey quieted down and wandered over next to the truck to simply stand there and observe and I sighed, taking a deep breath.

Birds sat calmly on the wires that trailed along the sides of the highway and a tumbleweed flowed by, taken along with the wind.

I came across a smell I was familiar with: Wet dog.

I sat up and looked at the ground of the highway, coming face-to-face with a panting wolf, who’s hair was matted with a mixture of sweat and blood. I stood up and slowly walked to the back door of my truck, making sure to be careful and not scare the wolf away.
I grabbed a pack of hotdogs that I was planning on saving for myself and brought them back to the wolf, the donkey watching both cautiously and curiously. I opened the pack and threw one into the air, the dog catching it with it’s mouth and chewing with it’s mouth wide open.

I glanced over to the donkey and held my hand out for it to come to. It didn’t, of course, but I wasn’t bothered by that. I enjoyed the company. I went back to the back door of my truck, less careful this time.

I got out a sack of apples that I had previously gotten from a store back in the town where I was from, though that town was nowhere to be seen. I brought the sack of the red fruits back to the donkey and laid them at his feet. “You got a name, buddy?”
He didn’t reply. I don’t know what I expected. “How about Jack? That’s cliche enough, right?” He kicked his feet as he chomped on the apples. It was a funny name for a donkey, and it was good enough, too.

I turned my attention back to the wolf. “How about you? You got a name?” The wolf whimpered and begged for more hotdogs, and I obliged, throwing them in his mouth as I did before. “Kato.”
My husky’s name was Kato, so I figured this would be a good way to honor him, in a way. “Your name is Kato.” Kato ignored me and chowed down on the hotdogs.

And I breathed, and I relaxed, and I felt okay. The song on the radio was that of great joy, and the breeze against my skin was oh so calming. Even the donkey cries didn’t bother me, nor the wolf whimpering, nor the eagles cawing. I paid no mind to the loudness of the scene, only to the calmingness of it.
But, like a snake chasing its own tail, I was bound to end up back to where I started.
86 · Mar 2021
What Did You Learn Today?
Today in school, I learned a lot about supressing how I feel.
Don't cry, chin up, smile, or else teachers will start to be worried.
I even learned how to force a smile!!
Oh, mother, I am so glad that I learned this skill...
If one more person asked how I was, I would probably start to be angry,
But now I've learned how to pretend like I really am alright!
People will no longer care,
No one else will notice.
Today in school, I figured out how to pretend to be okay.
85 · Mar 2021
Afterlife
After realizing that my hands
had begun to fade,
I then looked around
in the empty forest
and felt utterly
and completely
worthless
85 · Apr 2021
Ferret
Chasing my own tail
Biting the feet that walk to me,
Biting the hand that feeds
Biting the same kind
Biting
Nipping
Always
Hurting
Chasing my own tail
Bound to end up back to where I started.
85 · Mar 2021
Midnight By the Window
Midnight by the window
I lie awake
Thinking about the things
I haven’t said
Midnight by the window
She lies awake
The moon
Looking out over the sky
Midnight by the window
The moon is lonely
And so am I
We sit alone
Outcasted by the endless sea of stars
That said we were useless
But we still do everything for them
The stars
The people
The monsters
Praised for their riches
“The stars are so bright!”
“They are very successful!!”
When in reality
It’s almost always fate that brought them to their money
‘Money.’
The variable that determines success
Midnight by the window
I cry with the moon
Her and I
All alone.
85 · Mar 2021
Have You No Shame?
Have you no shame?
Tearing apart people's hearts for fun..
Have you no shame?
Putting yourself out there like it's nothin.'
You walk around
So proud of yourself, who and what you've done
While the rest of us
Are stuck behind tryna' learn how to love
Don't mind me
I'm just one of your many victims
No, don't mind me
I'm just working on trying to move on
Don't mind me,
Don't mind me...
I've been drinking
Pretending that it helps seal away the pain
I've been sinking
Drowning in this beer, these tears and this rain
I've been thinking
You said you just needed space
The stars been twinkling
And remind me of the brightness of your face
So lately, I've been up at night thinking
Since you been gone so much recently
I've been in my head and it hit me...
The ****'s the matter with you?
You break everything that's in your path
You're a monster, you're a psychopath
You move on, forget the aftermath
You hurt the only people you love you back
You're crazy, you're insane,
You think that you're the only ruler
You got it in your brain
That the rest of us drool over ya'
Have I no shame?
Using the few people that I have to move on
Have I no shame?
Sobbing over someone who's already gone
Am I okay?
I've been pretending that I am for a while
I'm not okay,
But I'll just throw the pain in the forget-about-it pile
My dad hates me, he said so
My mom hates me, she said so
My family hates me, they said so,
Everybody hates me, so I'll go
**** myself on main street
the driver will not see me
I can finally be
Somewhere that's more happy
Have I no shame?
Pretending like I'm sad, but what about?
Have you no shame?
Telling me I'll be forgot about?
Are we okay?
We're a mess, we really are, it's a shame..
Are you okay?
I love you, and I promise you are not to blame.
84 · May 2021
She The Moon
The trauma specialist
you know, the one with the leopard print glasses
the neck that sags
the voice that cracks
the one who always has
fruit snacks
yeah
that one
the trauma specialist
is starting to call
The Moon a she
And that pleases me
The Moon's a she and she The Moon she pleases me and she's a she
She The Moon
She pleases me
84 · May 2021
Look at Her Go
Look at her go
She goes so fast
Time to let go
She grows so fast
Look at her run
She runs so fast
Oh, now she's gone
They're gone so fast
The train
The house
The quiet
Mouse
She travelled afar
With a mouse
Snuck on a train
Watch her go
The train's so fast
How the heat
Turned to rain so fast
84 · Mar 2021
Sorry
“We’re so sorry.”
So that’s it, then. They’re ‘sorry.’
It’s not their fault, I know that. But still, I can’t help but feel angry.
Everything was about to change, but at least they’re ‘sorry.’
84 · Mar 2021
Burning
Passion
Fear
Please
Don't come near
84 · Mar 2021
Brother
My brother says that he is better,
My mother says it's true.
Though, when I tell her all I'm good at
She says, "Oh, that's cool."
My brother punches walls,
I try to get straight A's,
My mom says she is proud of him,
But for me she turns the other way.
My brother says he's the good kid,
I don't think that's right,
But if I tell my mom I love her,
She just tells me goodnight.
84 · Mar 2021
Abandoned
I love everything about you
But I can never have you
Her sister told her I was bad news
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I can't leave, there's nowhere to go
Now I'm at an all time low
Where'd you go?? Who the hell knows...
You left me with no road home.
An illusion you have shown to me
A delusion you have given me
An intrusion on my fantasies,
But I'll admit, it was a nice dream.
Maybe I was clingy,
Maybe I was boring,
I'd try to tell you stories,
You would just be snoring
I know it's late, but at this rate we'll never talk again
ANd that would be to much for me, this can't be how it ends.
Say you're sorry 'bout what you said,
Say you don't really wish I was dead,
Say you're sorry 'bout making the new guy's face burn red.
I don't care.
83 · Mar 2021
It'll Be Okay
Today I went out on the balcony. I needed a breath. It’s been so long since I needed a breath. A breath without smoke coming from my mouth when I exhaled.
Just a breath.
I just needed a breath.
A breath.
Breathe.
Breathe.
It hurts to breathe. It hurts. My heart hurts, my head hurts, my everything hurts.
It hurts.
Just breathe.
It’ll be okay.
I miss him so much and it hurts.
83 · Mar 2021
Blisters
Holding on
For dear life
Please
do not let go
And I was trying to be mad
But all I could do was cry
Because I wasn't mad
I was frustrated and tired
And perhaps it wasn't even because of you
But that fact that you did something
And I wanted to be mad
But I was just hurting
So when I tried to yell
I got choked up
By my own tears
So I stopped yelling
I stopped being hurt
I stopped feeling

And I started to laugh.
83 · Apr 2021
Sad Place
A deck, poorly illuminated by the moon up above, shining down and judging me. “Why are you even sad?” Moon asks me. I don’t respond to her. How could I answer that when I don’t even know myself?
The wood is old and creaky, and when I walked out here to sit on this old deck my steps filled the silent night, but the silence quickly followed when I stopped shuffling around. Like a shadow that was always near, the silence. It follows.
I closed my eyes and listened to the wind and crickets. No music, no laughter, just the sounds of the forest behind my old family home. Owls hooted, crickets sang, cicadas cried, and the moon judged. “What do you want?” I asked her, growing annoyed by her watching eyes.
“I just want to observe,” she whispered. “I am intrigued by human emotion.”
“There is nothing to feel intrigued by,” I explained, “It is only pain and grief.”
Moon just sighed at this. I sighed, too. “Untrue,” she started, “I have seen such fantastic emotion. I have seen love, happiness, tranquility-”
“Well you won’t find any of that here,” I cut her off.
She seemed annoyed at this point, like she was sick of my complaining. She looked down on me, but I’m sure she saw way more from up there than just me. “You are foolish for believing that.” She said finally.
“Believing what? The truth? Nothing of interest is-”
“Perhaps not yet.”
I paused at that. I realized she had a point, but I wasn’t sure if I believed in a future of great happiness. I wasn’t sure I believed that I would ever feel anything besides pain. Perhaps I didn’t believe in happy endings at all, but I couldn’t help but hope that she was right. Just a little bit.
81 · Mar 2021
Skeleton
Oh, poor thing
What have you done to yourself
I can see your arms
And I can see your ribs
And I can see
the dark circles
under your swollen eyes
81 · Feb 2021
Oh, Poor Moon
She is a child of the stars.
Flawless and beautiful, though she doesn’t know it.
With her eyes like the moon,
And hair like the deepest ocean.
Flowing.
Adrift.
She felt as the moon would;
Alone.
Among an endless sea of stars that do not encompass her.
Is she a planet or a star?
What is the moon?
She is the moon.
What else do you want from her?
Do you really need her to be one of the stars?
Is it not enough for her to roam among them peacefully?
No.
No, the moon is not enough.
She must be just like the stars or she is flawed.
Not too noticeable or you’re an attention-seeker, not too quiet or you’re angsty.  
She is a child of the stars.
She is trapped amongst the stars.
She lights up the entire night sky almost entirely by herself, but no.
That’s not enough.
Forget your trophies, forget your beauty, forget your perfections.
Oh, poor moon…
Swimming in the sky, floating amongst traitors. Floating amongst regular.
Trying to escape the current
81 · Apr 2021
Forever
"Stay, please. Just stay. It doesn't have to be forever, just for a little while... please. Just... stay."
"Forever," I promised.
80 · Mar 2021
The Artist and the Poet
He showed me his scars
Called it his art
He said that the drawing
Came from his heart
I wrote him a story,
He seemed to like it,
I told him my story
Came from my pit
He understood,
Said that it's fine,
I started his art
And he started mine.
I have only learned in my life that selflessness is self-sacrifice. Selflessness means to not care about yourself as long as you make others happy.
Selflessness is to be a people-pleaser.
80 · Mar 2021
Lecture
I'm not mad...

Just disappointed.
It's so much worse ****
79 · Mar 2021
Stirdy
Porcelain vase
Sitting atop
Your wobbly table
Good luck
Next page