It is a strange thing,
to go back to the same light
that has burned me
so many times

Today in school, I learned a lot about supressing how I feel.
Don't cry, chin up, smile, or else teachers will start to be worried.
I even learned how to force a smile!!
Oh, mother, I am so glad that I learned this skill...
If one more person asked how I was, I would probably start to be angry,
But now I've learned how to pretend like I really am alright!
People will no longer care,
No one else will notice.
Today in school, I figured out how to pretend to be okay.

Stop trying to live your dreams vicariously through your kids.
I cannot keep up with all these assignments,
I cannot keep up with all these extracurricular activites
I can't keep up
Because you couldn't do it yourself

I excitedly drew the fractured blade against my skin
So long without a tool to do this deed
Has done horrible things to my sanity
Like a drug, it draws me to it
And I use it,
get addicted,
No matter how much it hurts me,
and then go to rehab
or a mental hospital, as some would say
No matter
It feels great

Laying my head on your chest
Has never felt so wrong
yet so right

I recognize that you need an idol,
but I am not that person.

I was cleaning my room
And I found another one
My parents had hidden every other one
But that one
I felt joyful
To hurt myself
after
too
long