I wait for hours at a time
In single file lines
Just waiting for my name to be called
Even though I know deep down
I'm not even on the registery.

I fail all my tests
On which I really tried my best
And my buckets of tears
Won't ever be enough
For the numbered sheet of paper.

I hate that I make life a movie
While somewhere in reality
I'm actually standing all alone
In the dead of winter
In the middle of the night.

I wish his face could go away
And come again another day
One where I know the difference
Between a drizzle
And a dark raging storm.

I hurt for sticks and stones
The blood and limbs and bones
All of which do not belong to me
And are on someone else's property
And no where near my address.

I dont understand my habit
In collecting my best shiny pennies
In heaping genuine bundles
Just to throw them in the bottomless fountain
Where they will sink, become useless, and rust.

What do I keep wishing for?
Your attention? Your admiration?
I must be one of the billions of banks
You ignore and use on a daily
I should have deactivated your account by now.

Sometimes I feel like the human race
Trying so persistently to touch the stars
I build ships and recruit the public
I guess what makes me different and dumb
Is hoping the stars will touch me back.

I am a slave built with emotion
Here to serve your every need
I have been hungry for so long
That I lick your crumbs off the ground
As if it's a meal I am sharing at your table.

I fantasize of the day
You finally give me flowers
I will smile, and hold your bundle of roses
Pretending as if I dont stand behind
My entire uprooted garden.

To you I am nothing
And if I were anything at all
It would be your infinitely free trial
Of therapy, and a kind heart.

If I vanished you might mourn
For a day or maybe two
Solely for the subconscious comfort
You would no longer be receiving.

Explain to me simply
Why your praises I sing
And my praises are stomped out
Unheard of and foreign.

I was unaware of my cardboard status
A ***** tissue and a thumbtack
You know of my health and my anxious spurts
But do you know how much power you hold?

I wanted you to be a mound
Or maybe even a small hill
Unfortunately you've enveloped the whole planet
The one gravity bounds me to.

Legality bounds you to responsibility
Yet all I've been hearing are your toddler tantrums
The babysitting I will never get payed for
And your mother abandoned me with.

I hate that to you, I am peripheral
And to me, you are the nose apon my face

Your eyes concave into tears
They fall sudden and hard
You rush to catch the fears
That you so chillingly guard

Has it occurred in your thoughts
That my hands are strong and open
I am brave enough to hold you
Brave enough to hold the broken

Let me be your support
Your crutch or your prop
I will be there at the bottom rung
And when you finally reach the top

You project a sunny front
But I see the storm you're trapped in
Thousands of words hidden
Beneath the blanket you are wrapped in

When your candle has burnt out
Let me light a match
All the arrows you wish to avoid
I will try my best to catch

I know it's hard to unlock
A heart closed and leaking crime
Know when you need to find a key
I will be there every time

My mind feels like a space
Between a time and a place
That I can't quite figure out.

Can you trust me with your thoughts?
With the sadness and battles you've fought?
Please don't label me a stranger.

In solitude I question and mourn
All the promises they did sworn
I miss the blissful ignorance.

No one mentioned that the race of life
Is ran across a rusty steel knife
Over an abyss of closed eyes.

The bruising scars on my body
Have meaning in all they taught me
Although I've never quite liked purple.

I can't seem to start crying
I lose hope in even trying
But I fear my organs will all drown.

In the graveyard I play
Carelessly wasting the day
While standing in a six foot pit.

The mirror offers no kind words
They're the cruelst I've ever heard
Her voice is ever so familiar.

I'm thinking of writing you a letter
One wordy, thorough, and long
I'll write down every thought
Every poem, pleasure, song.

It would take days to write
Precious ticks of the time
Still no hours could amount
To the pain within each rhyme

So many words I wish to finish
I'm filled with weeping wounds
Tears that crept from my crys
Dreams ridiculously ruined

When my hands start aching
And the paper has been soaked through
I'll fold up my whole heart
And ill sign it addressed to you

I'll pay that single cent
For a stamp in the corner
And I'll sign my name in black
Like a dedicated mourner

For the next millenia I'll wait
For a reply that'll never come
There's no return on that letter
Since I'm so desperate to be done

The sky is now dark
And I'm left with nothing to do
Every thought has been consumed
By some sort of thought of you

I miss the sound of your voice
Your laugh and your rambles
I'll never hear those two again
That revelation leaves me in shambles

I remember calling your name
When I was driving about
I sent pictures of the sky
Pictures with my tongue sticking out

I remember staying up too late
So I could tell you all my wonders
And you'd listen to every one
Now my thoughts can only thunder

You were a different kind of feeling
A pleasant nausea in my core
The feeling of being yearned
Was one I'd never felt before

So many words that made me melt
Like 'please don't stop talking'
'Oh God you're so perfect'
And 'you're everything I've been wanting'

So at the end of the week
When it's dark late and slow
Is when you're holding me hostage
When I just can't let go