it keeps happening
i have no idea why
i look up at the clock
time is ticking by

i have been clean for 23 seconds.
****
that's... that's not a lot.
that's like a whole *** body slam.

i look in the mirror
and try to find a way to hide
the scars and fresh cuts
to keep them out of sight

i don't want them to see
i know they'll just judge me
just like everyone else
leave me alone, please

i don't want to be like this anymore

sure,
but why did you care about me?
no one ever did before.
is this what it feels like
to feel okay?
because i don't recognize this feeling.
not at all.

well
i've been trying to be a good kid all my life
and believe me
it brought me no good
so mark my words.
nobody gives a crap.
do whatever you want
because there is so much more
than just good or bad

we are all wearing black
this is the day before i die
hold in your tears now,
please don't cry

i ask for one last dance
and you say 'yes'
so we hold hands and twirl around,
you look so pretty in your black dress

we dance for hours
until i run out of time
when i fall to the floor
look up, the stars are out; after all, it is nighttime

the stars mean nothing
when you aren't here.

don't cry
when i die.
crying over me
is just as useful
as crying over spilled milk.

if i was icarus
and the wax on my wings melted
i would have apologized to you
for splashing the ocean water on you

if you stabbed me
and i was dying
i would have apologized to you
for getting blood on your shirt

if we fought
and didn't make up
i would have apologized to you
for saying sorry

well,
i'm sorry.
sorry.

i still remember
             our playground
where we played together, at
              our playground
the place we loved,
               our playground
where we could be friends,
                our playground
without anybody watching,
                our playground
man... i sure do miss
               our playground
being friends