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 Dec 2013 AJ
Gossamer
Ode to An A+
 Dec 2013 AJ
Gossamer
Twisted in the way her pride
Brings her down because she can feel
Them glaring, those envious eyes

At a paper she wishes weren’t real
At a feat she should not be ashamed of
At a number so many are wishing to steal

Melancholy in the way she crumples and shoves
Her A+ in the trash on the way out the door;
If she keeps it, she’s sticking up her nose

Because pride is a sin and nothing more;
Hard Work is the devil’s ally,
And Guilt builds his home in her core.

She was given a gift, and now she cries
She was deemed a monster, so now she’ll lie.

Pain in the way the multitude of red marks
On her paper resemble streaks of blood
From the wounds to her fragile heart

A wave of nausea; no wait, a flood
Of everything she’s felt thus far;
Cruelty has crushed a blooming bud.

Tear-stained wishes on a shooting star
To rip away her intelligence;
She’d rather have an ugly scar

She never befriended Arrogance
But somehow her life went awry;
All she wanted was another chance.

She hides her gift, but she still cries
Because she was forced to live a lie.
 Nov 2013 AJ
lionness
glorification
 Nov 2013 AJ
lionness
(every pulse is a symphony
that echoes throughout
the vaulted ceilings of my skin.
with every
beat of the rythm
warmth settles in to
my empty pores

this
here
is all i need.

play me a song.

sing me to sleep.)
 Nov 2013 AJ
E
crowned queen
 Nov 2013 AJ
E
People always say that ballet is graceful. They speak for hours after watching a performance, marveling at the dancers’ grace and elegance. They applaud enthusiastically while gazing at the stage in awe. They see a title page, a disguise, a mask. Underneath the surface of bright lights and happy endings, there is nothing but a dark stage occupied by a girl naked, shivering, and alone. Her face is engulfed by quivering hands covered with dry, cracked skin and fingernails blue from the cold. Her hands slowly reach out to comb through brown, lifeless hair. When she draws her hands away to rest against protruding ribs, brittle hair floats delicately to the ground like a feather cruelly cast away from its owner. Tears barrel their way down her cheeks like a train unable to stop for the oblivious children playing on its tracks. Her body is nothing more than an abandoned painting, fixed and perfected beyond recognition. Her ankles quiver beneath satin chains of beauty and grace. Her fingers tremble as they graciously bow to rows and rows of awestruck admirers. Her legs falter as they are barely contained within the confines of the tutu so painstakingly stitched just for her. Her head spins, dizzy under the pressure of the tiara: crowned queen of the mentally ill.
 Nov 2013 AJ
Qynn
Burnt
 Nov 2013 AJ
Qynn
Your memory yet smolders in my heart
And your ashes have been ground into my wounds
I wear them now like tattoos
A bleak, crude reminder
Of what I neglected
And would lose.
 Nov 2013 AJ
Qynn
Whore
 Nov 2013 AJ
Qynn
I wanted to make music
And I wanted to be a star
I wanted to be so far away from who you are
Dirtied by the masses
And scarred

Bitter taste
Plastic smile
Lead heart

Now I paint my face
To take off my skin
And bare the ***** within.
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