It hurts,is there ever a time when one day you can't feel anything. But they say its better to feel something than nothing. Have you ever felt that. When  your numb and your just there cause your not sure what to do. Yup all the ****** time, and i contemplate all the time when im there running my fingers down my thighs. Ouch, i feel it, I feel the pain that was confusing me inside my heart and mind. It's warm dripping from my thighs. I guess there the tears that are supposed to be falling from my eyes, but there not. At least i can say I felt agian.

I'm sitting here thinking whether I should write on paper or skin.
Either way ill still cry and feel the pain.
Honestly I don't want to make a mess, so I would rather find a pen.

I love you...i guess you loved me.
Now I'm hurting....and your parting
I'm hurt you don't care
I got attached...you detached
I'm cutting...you don't know cause your out there living.
You go to sleep fine...i go to sleep crying.
I'm still in love..you found a new love.

What if one day we don't hurt
What if one day we won't cry
What if one day everything was fine for once
What if...
What if one day we can say I'm okay

How can you forget something that once made you happy. You made me feel so much,so much that it made me feel human. But now all I feel is pain,hurt,hopeless. Have you ever felt this before. What do I do. I'm lost,so lost. I'm going to lose myself to the darkness in my mind. Parts of me are numb already I'm almost there. All i need is a touch or words because I'm drowning now,and your there watching. If I breathe agian it's all up to you.

It's getting dark agian.its always dark here.im sinking,I'm slowly not breathing but,im trying.i feel the water in my throat,I'm chocking trying to breathe.one breath,one blink.one more breath,its blurry now.its dark I see the stars.there coming together now, but I'm still not free.