I’m not saying I’m depressed but often have my doubts.
I’m not saying I hate life but rich are causing droughts.
Some times I feel hopeless, even when I’m in the clouds.
Evil gets most lavish when leaven in the crowds.
I’m saddened by the hearts that are grieving too much, that feel too hard and have silenced to hush.
The world is ugly but has its beauty besides the fact so many live crudely.
Having all and being best some believe they  are above the rest.
What I’ve seen is slaves that live to cater that help the rich and never earn greater.
I want a life of equal rights not a world of constant fights
My spirit is light and sweet and pure I wish the world a treat a cure.
No more evil we all want peace
If you find a door of hope please share the keys

It's been days with no one to talk too,
I've shed out all the light from my very bones,
though I'm surrounded by son I still cant feel anything but the darkness,
I feel consumed.

But by something I cant figure out,

which is myself.

Myself is a confused stray, staring into the window of a life I can easily touch but cant feel at the moment.
    I have options,
But nothing I can grasp by the soul and use to wake me up.

So I sit here perched with a lit cigarette attempting to carry on and pretend I know what I'm doing.

But little do you know I'm bonkers.

Your scent is of cigarettes and emotion soup,
Misery and misled love.
Crushed hopes and tangled hair.
But yet you sit perched like a cat
Fearing a bath.
Fearing the truth....
Darling your mascara is running.......
Your beauty isn't fading, but the paint is.
Getting something real for once reminds you of what pain is,
So you slip back into the galaxy at the edge of the world and refuse to look at the rearview mirror because you know its far beneath you.
Right now you have this time,
This magic. Everythings real...
You're above whats plastic.
And what you see behind you isn't the world you want but a war of ants on a tiny flower.
All rooted to the same source.

The hopes you had as a little girl..
The fact that you are sand but also a pearl.
A mad mystery to most,
when you're all alone with tears in your eyes looking at the stars,
When you're here on earth but mind is on mars.
And bits of colors shimmer as that last tear runs down your cheek.
              Remember that dead fish all go the same way in a creek...
And that you may be crazy but you are not weak.

Put out your hand,
Lift your heart.
Let’s make moves to neverland.
See me with your eyes,
Blue and yellow.
  Play something sweet.
Soft and mellow..
Unplug the plague and adjust your focus.
I want something real but see hocus pocus.
I smell the air of burning worries.
I feel the confusion of depressions illusions,
It’s all in your head.
Hocus pocus,
Remember the light and adjust your focus...
I sense you’ve come to conclusion
That the things we see are just pure confusion,
The things to be are just out of reach
The human stars don’t know how to preach.
It’s 2018 “hey kids drink bleach!”
Like I said it’s the focus.
Not on the screen or one humans race
But your soul to my soul.
Or the stars up in space.
  They say you’re dreaming and dancing to grace.
But the way that I see it is
you’re perfect in place.

I only have a handful of words left,
And maybe something sweet.
No words to explain the empty thoughts that fill my mind.
No speech but yes and no.
Hope's for peace but only seeing walls caving in everywhere I look.
Life alone,
I'm living fast and Dying slow.
To hear, To hear.
Old people moaning, clinging to there last word.
Broken and confused,
Felt like a sharp pain thats ran deep into my veins once before
But it's late,
Sitting around in a little solar system,
Here but somewhere else,
She's gone....

ahhh now I'm out ,
  **** I'll give you a try,
snort, smoke, shoot,

never toot ya the boot...
your hand just took me oh hard so shook me,
I need that lift,
  ya satins gift,
rock and roll,
I'm a beaty troll,
           your things i stole,
                  lost out control
                       You'd have my back?
I really need you,
                I left them all,
family friends put up a wall,
           I am bound now all around I just ask no more a hit.
         Hey you there you got the "$hit"
For my brother who's lost it.

To think back to the glory days is all that's left to do.
To curl up in a ball of stress and remember what's left of you, the day I found you calling me I was to late to save,
the loss of being late  will haunt me to my grave..
The look of distance in the death that's when I think I knew... It's time to grasp a life alone and finally get a clue,
You tought me much and loved me like no other.. You were my dad I had no mother.
So now I see a bit of happiness although I'm filled with doubt and crappiness I bite my tounge and close my eyes and see a life of hope,
just to realize I'm finally living hanging from this rope. R.I.P