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Amber Aug 2020
I hug you one last time
I let go of the past
But it never lets go of me
How could it when it’s veins run deep
I was born into this
I can’t shed all of the weight you’ve put on me
Though I wish I could
A part of me doesn’t want to
It simply can’t
It longs for a place where “what’s ifs” become reality
It longs for you to be who I always wished you would
But now you’ve moved on and forgotten me again
I wish I could say this is the last goodbye
But I can’t
Amber May 2019
Orange ball with spikes all over
Muddy and beaten but well loved
Paw prints in the mud
Lots of time outside
Too close to chickens “HEY!”
Run back to under porch
Sniff the wind and play with brothers
Get treats for doing good boy
Fingers aren’t treats and chickens aren’t toys
Run into walls, fall off couch
Get back up, do it again
Play all day till go kennel time
Sleep then whine at 8:39
Time to say goodbye
I do one more good boy while momma holds me tight
Favorite toy no more used  
No one to play with you
Squeaker gone quite
House not whole
For burkley my special dog
Amber May 2019
I know not of what greatness is
I have yet to taste that
I have a fond familiarity with mediocrity
I drown in underdeveloped skills
Though I don’t wish for anything else
For this path is covered in tar in which I’m stuck
I struggle but I’m told to settle down
At least my misery shall never lie alone
Amber May 2019
2 cups flour
1 ½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
It must be perfect, it must be right
Soft in the middle
Clean while you cook
Keep yourself looking nice
Tired from last night
Only close your eyes for a moment
THE COOKIES!
They’re burnt
No time for others, he’s home
Flying cookies what a sight
New excuse for the bruises
This time they must be perfect
Amber Dec 2018
I bury my heart in the sandbox
It stopped beating then
Benjamin button
I chew on a button
Growing too fast for my clothes
My mind races but I’m kept still
Throwing pencils to get up
Sharpen them only to dull myself
Climb the evergreens never to be seen
Words to say but never to be heard
Meatloaf and word searches
I bask in childhood, only wishing to grow up
Amber Dec 2018
The brisk air nips at my face
But your warm rage heats my bones
Clouds of words escape your mouth
These clouds thunder and rain
Your touches earthquakes
You are a natural disaster
And I am the land you tread on
Paper can split a tree with your winds propelling it
Your words cut me in the same way
I become brittle but grow again
My growth only met by your destruction
Amber Dec 2018
I hate you,
Because I love you.
You’re drunk on life,
And it makes me uneasy.
You’re drunk on life,
And it makes me weary.

I hate you because of the things you say to me,
You tear me down,
You **** my dreams,
You make me a wall.
In which I turn off my emotions.

I love you because
you tell me wonderful things
You brighten my day
And you tell me of love.

And when it’s time
And we hit rock bottom,
It hurts even worse.
Your kind words soften me.
But your harsh words scar me.
Although, you of all people should know
The scars build up and you become tough and hallow

I hate you,
Because I love you.
You’re drunk on life
And I wish you to be sober.
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