If my heart ever skips a beat
it is because you moved to far from me
If I ever lose my breath
it is because I gave you the ones that I had left
when we dance and you step on my feet
it is because you can't help but move too close to me
When I go to sleep
you are the blanket being thrown on me
and when I awake not feeling well
you are the medicine I will take.

it has been months
since I have painted
I take a brush
and move it across the canvas
a face begins to appear
that face I smear
then start over again
illustrating mountains
with snow covered peaks
in front of a lake that shines
surrounded by trees that breathe
and only seen because of me

I lead people to the paths
that will take them
the furthest away from me
should I be hurt?
or flattered
to be the inspiration
behind their awakening?

I want everyone around me
to be happy
and sometimes
I suffer from that reality
but that is ok
every time I bleed
I still enjoy seeing
you all smiling

I stand in front of the mirror
remembering when I hated facing myself
foaming at the mouth, and pacing back and forth
an animal before realizing the fate of death
chasing the shiny and bright but getting burned by the light
only to find the comfort in imagining a mass extinction
and I am the only one that's left
but as the years pass, I reaped the seeds I have sewn
people I have loved are gone
I buried a friend before he could watch me grow
into the man he said I would be
a lovable soul who is inspired by the spark he gave to me
I would say it saved me
looking in the mirror now
I am looking at a person I am glad to be
nothing to be ashamed of, I am free

Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think there's something they're trying to tell me
Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think they can hear the music I'm listening to-
and they're dancing along with me
I can smell natures breath
and I can see it floating on top of the grass
I can hear it in the hum of the insects
and can feel it as a bat flies past
Come with me into the night
we can lay in the grass
stare at the moon
and charge our hearts with light
become mesmerized by the sight
of constellations in the sky
I've layed in the grass so many times
that my skin no longer itches or stains
I've stared at the stars for so long
that my pupils continueally dilate

I met you
when you were
just starting to poke
through the cocoon
that surrounded you

those big brown eyes
and those large black pupils
starving for light
attracted me like a black hole
I am spiraling like a pin wheel
will I disappear with you?
or will disappear into you?

I noticed a fray
it blew in the wind
I caught it with my fingers
and the static electricity lingered
I began to unravel the threads
then I was cut short as I fell from the limb
of the tree we were living in
I am a damaged caterpillar on the ground
on my back watching you
flap your wings with a rhythm
as you fly around
landing on any flower
that is in bloom

make something magical
write something moving and profound
Brian, make everyone proud
be it words, paint, or sound
Brian, don't let everyone down
do something smart
be someone great
stop being idle
and take your foot off of the brake
let life happen
even if it slaps you in the face
take a f-cking chance
stop being weak and afraid
people love you Brian
all the while you sit alone
thinking of ways to make them love you more
never satisfied of anything
like the women you blame yourself for
just grow up Brian
get out of your head
stop thinking
start experiencing
do something spiritual
make something magical
and write something moving and profound

I imagine beautifully full trees
housing families of birds who love to sing
and we will dance as their whistles ring
piercing our eardrums then laughing
at the slight sting
because at the same time our hearts skip a beat
we realize we are where we need to be
skipping stones across a steady stream
growling stomachs waiting
for the fruit this will bring
and the leaves that will give us air to breathe
I am laying in my bed staring at the ceiling
fit to be tied knowing you are asleep without me
I can only hope you are having the sweetest of dreams

I'm swimming in fear
down a river of loneliness
love lead me here

the undertow is grabbing at my feet
and the sun paints my face
a redness spreads over my skin

I shouldn't be worried
nor scared
after all
I am approaching the waterfall

this has become a habit
lost in the wilderness, forgotten
happiness is the tree branch I can't grab
as I go over the edge back to the bottom
I do not fear
love is everything and
love lead me here

you are a beautiful girl
with a face as next door as you can find
a lovely presence and personality as bright as sunlight
you are young and free
a new soul on this planet
it's first trip into the vast expanse

you remind me of girl I once knew
who became a butterfly
with wings as intricate as her heart
and the endurance of a migratory bird
off she went into the wind
leaving nothing behind
and if you were to ever fly in
then fly back out, well...
I would never take to the sky again

I hide from you
I know if I show you who I am
you would be hooked too
and the last bit of energy my heart has left
would be wasted on something that could lead to my death
but it could be love, and I don't believe in anything else