It burns when you message. It makes me cry when you call. I can't think. It feels like I'm in a hole. Again. Seven years later. You still message. You still call. I just stopped answering. You still twist my emotions. You still hurt with every word. I'm not yours anymore. But it still hurts....

Windows
Open, closed.
Covered in ruffles, or bare.
Looking out,
You can see so much.
Fantasy, reality.
Peace, sorrow.
Stress, love.
Fear, safety.
Looking in...
That's different...
You saw what's gone.
What's missing.
What you left behind,
And what you had taken.
What you lost...
They offer a option.
To try to recover,
To be whole again.
Or run.
Call it ruined,
And give up.
I hate windows.

What a pretty face.
She smiles and said thanks.
But did anyone notice,
When she dipped her head,
Used her hair to hide her eyes.

What a pretty face.
She laughs and smiles.
But did anyone hear,
The way her laughed trailed off,
Empty and hallow.

What a pretty face.
She hears it all the time.
But it doesn't mean a thing,
She fell apart alone,
She's dead inside.

What a pretty face.
She uses it to get numb.
Anyway, anyhow,
She's didn't care.
Just let her be numb.

What a pretty soul.
She listens more carefully.
This is new, very new.
It can't be real.
She has a pretty face.

What a pretty heart.
He keeps coming back.
He's real. Why?
Won't he just leave already?
Breathing, she's starting to hurt.

What a pretty mind.
She knows it's going to hurt.
She falls down anyway.
Now she's lost in his arms.
There's no escape.

What a pretty vibe.
She's reckless and crazy.
She's scared it'll last,
And terrified it won't.
What a pretty face.

The pain builds slow but sudden,
The ache slow and steady.
The escalation, fast and burning,
I scream, begging,
Not for mercy..
Not for it to ever stop....
Just begging for those words,
Please Master...
I'm begging Sir...
Please!
Master?
I hear him breathe in....
Slowly, controlled...
Yes Kitten.
I explode...
Screaming in primal pleasure..
Thank you Master...
You're welcome baby girl.
Then it begins again..
The want...
It never leaves,
Never lessens.
Thank you Master.

Run...That's all I can feel. Flee...That's all I can hear, but it's too late.  I didn't watch my step. I fell. Now I'm stuck. And there's no one to help me up. Why did I do this?
I learned long ago not to. Not to feel. Not to open up. Not to let down my walls. Stupid. Stupid me. How could I? I knew better. But I fell anyway. And now I can't stop. I'm twisting into a hole I can't get out of. It's burying me alive. Each breath harder to breathe. Until it just stops.