from within me, i felt something inside me,
like there were different parts of me.
i felt a power inside me,
a feeling that wanted to be set free.
let me free, it whispered,
let me out of here.
i always wondered what it was,
where did it come from and what it really was.
it always astonished me,
it had a will and always tried to get free.
i pondered on its existence,
what gave it such a life and such resistance.
i remembered when it started to speak,
i am still that freak.
i was in the 6th grade,
for some reason i was unafraid.
i tried to push it away,
yet no matter what i did, it stayed.
i later just gave up and restrained it,
i locked it up and blocked it.
i met my first best friends that year,
and that was when my locked up prison begin to tear.
the prisoner slowly started to escape from the cage,
as i grew up with age.
8th grade year, however, reinforced its bars,
many things happened that left me scarred.
9th grade, the prison started to deteriorate,
the bars slowly started to break.
the prison exploded that year,
something that caused me fear.
i had made new friends and got a boyfriend,
that lead to me breaking that prison.
now i know who that prisoner is,
i know now where it came from and what it is.
that prisoner was the real me,
trapped inside of me.

it feels like there is weight upon my shoulders,
its starting to crack my determination that used to be as strong as a boulder.
the world continues to crush me beneath its weight,
im beginning to lack in strength.
i feel something gripping my heart and squeeze,
my personality and body is something it wants to seize.
everything is falling apart,
it is slowly crushing me and my heart.
i feel so helpless as i try to fight,
the darkness is overcoming the light.
i feel abandoned,
shattered and broken.
work piles before me,
smothering me.
my relationship is falling into pieces,
i dont know who he really is.
im losing myself,
i dont know my true self.
responsibilities and life throw me around like a ball,
i really want to escape it all.
i want to die,
i want to fly.
the weight is killing me,
i just want to be free.
everything is falling apart in jagged shards,
my sanity is crumbling like a house of cards.
someone set me free, please?
save me from the weight upon me

listen closely,
listen fully.
hear the thrumming of a beetle's wing,
hear the wind begin to sing.
listen to true beauty,
listen to the reality.
hear the story that the trees tell,
hear the history as the leaves fall.
listen to the ancient wisdom given by the sky,
listen to how well the clouds lie.
hear the grass whisper sweet compliments,
hear the flowers present.
listen to the chiming of the water ring,
listen to how well the rock recite tales so amazing.
hear the call of the animals,
hear the bugs begin to crawl.
listen to the screams of the city,
listen to the sizzling of the toxicity.
hear the pounding of footsteps and daily life,
hear the swift sound of a knife.
listen to the cries of hunger,
listen to the tapping of fingers.
hear the screams of anger,
hear the shouts of hate against others.
listen to the crushing of childhood dreams,
listen to the victims screams.
hear the sin as marriage spiral down to hell,
hear the lies that they sell.
listen to the hits of a fight,
listen to the person who turned away from the light.
hear the life slip out of a person,
hear the person within a prison.
listen to the hatred within humans,
listen to the sadness felt by every girl and man.
hear the death of the hope,
hear the imagination begin to choke.
listen to the thrumming of a poets heart,
listen to it tear apart.
hear the suicide of originality,
hear the death of personality.
listen to it all closely,
and write it all down carelessly.
listen to it all,
hear the down spiral of it all.
listen to carefully,
listen to the downfall of humanity.

i lay here in silence yet again,
with no one here, not even a friend.
pieces of me are scattered on the floor,
i can hear the buzzing of my phone begin to roar.
how can i be so blind?
how can everyone leave me behind?
these lips keep silent,
not wanting to tell anyone of the pain that is evident.
tears fall on my face, disappearing in the sheets,
my heart is as heavy as concrete.
he broke me so easily, broke a delicate confidence that was never there,
now im here and can do nothing as my heart tears.
he broke a dream,
he tore me apart at the seams.
he was once praising me and then he knocked me off a pedestal,
making everything in my heart feel so dull.
pieces of me chant hurtful words,
digging into me like treacherous swords.
what can i do now with all this going on?
the only thing i can do is stare on.
goodbye blissful dream, goodbye happiness,
and hello misery, self hate, and emptiness.

As i lay here in darkness,
I stare at the shambles of my life, my own mess.
tragedy and heart break laid beside me,
eventually becoming my very own family.
the tears flowed down my cheeks, never ending,
reality that was within my hands was slipping.
a mannequin was used to trick friends,
giving false reality that i am happy to the bitter end.
i laid here in a bitter, cold darkness,
a familiar bitter caress.
i stared at nothing, the chains of responsibility holding me down,
the weight of obedience making me drown.
a light appeared, there a person stood.
he crouched down and a butterfly appeared from his hood.
the butterfly was a beautiful red,
that shook my heart full of dread.
that beautiful creature landed on his shoulder as the man came closer,
i tore my eyes from the creature on his shoulder.
he came closer to me and gently reached his hands out,
he was so close, i wanted to shout.
he picked up a dark blue butterfly with a broken wing,
trapped in a cage, a sad little thing.
he opened the cage and gently carried the butterfly,
the red one beginning to fly.
the magnificent creature landed next to the wounded thing,
healing its broken wing.
the two butterflies, now able to fly, flew together,
as happy as ever.
i turned my eyes to the man before me,
who had reached out to me.
he smiled at me as i stared at him,
silent as i listened to the butterflies wings begin to hum.
i slowly reached out to him, the chain on my wrist beginning to disappear,
i started to feel fear.
i hesitated,
as the butterflies elevated.
he waited,
and i contemplated.
i reached out to him again and he smiled,
making my unresponsive heart beat for miles.
the chains rusted away,
darkness turning into day.
he smiled and helped me up to my feet,
the warmth wrapping me up like a sheet.
we looked at each other,
our butterflies dancing with one another.
i had once laid in darkness,
held down by the misery of my own tragedy and mess.
here he is before me,
saving me from my own misery,
my own tragedy and mess,
my darkness.

a veiled future laid ahead of me.
you stared at me expectantly,
with your hand outstretched.
i looked at the mysterious future ahead.
what kind of future was hidden in the deep, dark unknown?
what kind of things will be shown?
would it be the bright future that i have always dreamed it would be?
or would it be full of despair and misery?
would you be loyal?
or would you be unfaithful?
would you still at me with those complex, loving eyes?
or would they be covered in hate and utter lies?
will you still see me as the same?
or will i become a beast you have to tame?
would you still welcome me warmly at the door?
or will you sneak off and cheat on me with a stupid *****?
so many questions,
should i just **** it up and take the risk?
i stare at you with a smile and take your hand.
through good times and bad,
I'll follow you anywhere,
even through the unknown and dark abyss known as our future.

Why did you choose me?
i cause you so much misery
don't you see that you can do more?
i always leave you a open door.
Why do you stay?
im the one with the uncontrollable rage.
Why do you care?
its always your heart that I tear.
why do care about me so?
i am the lowest of the low.
why do you continue to follow?
my heart is hollow.
why do you crave my heart?
it isnt worthy of any of your art.
why dont you see that im no good for you?
im the reason youre always blue.
why do you worship me?
im the one with ultimate jealousy.
why do you say sorry for the things ive done?
I'm always the one who wants to run.
Why do you care about my feelings?
I'm always the one who's leaving.
Why me?
I'm imperfect, complicated, and always fleeing.
You always look at me with those dark brown eyes,
Always so piercing, the only thing that strips me of any lies.
You always call me an angel,
Even though your heart is the one I mangle.
You always tell me you love me,
You always say you want to be with me for an eternity.
Those eyes that are glistened with tears,
Are the only thing I focus on, words falling on deaf ears.
After all of the pain you went through, you stay,
Claiming you still love me anyways.
Now it is I who cry,
Wishing to die.
You're the angel,
I am the devil,
Yet you think differently,
As you hold me gently.
The question will always linger in my heart for our entire eternity.
Why did you pick me? Why me?