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May 2016 · 209
Living
Summer Rose May 2016
Do you ever just sit around
and think about how much
you wish you were gone?
Not wishing for death
and knowing
that you would never
harm yourself
to that extent.
But wouldn't it all be so much easier?
You can't feel like a failure
if you've failed the final test.
I spend an over whelming amount of time contemplating my own death, wishing that it was all over. But then I think of the future and I know that I have no idea what it holds. What if I end it all right before I was really going to get to live?? I could never take that risk. I want to live to badly.
May 2016 · 265
Mother
Summer Rose May 2016
Mommy! Mommy!
I've been longing to hear those words
for years I've envied the love only a mother knows
many nights spent dreaming of my family
but one day
I snapped
my niece was only four
I yelled and threatened to spank her
she hadn't really done anything
and all of a sudden
I saw my mother in me.
19 years of being the sponge for her harsh words
and I realized
I could never be a good mother.
I can't risk damaging a life
over my selfish desires.
I'll never get to be a mother.
I love my mother, she is truly my best friend. But she is and always has been a very angry person. I see so much of myself in her and I just can't risk my baby having to recover from their childhood.
May 2016 · 266
Your Wondering Eyes
Summer Rose May 2016
You see her walking down the street and say you wish I had her style
You wish I had her blonde hair
My simple red was never good enough
You ask if I'll start tanning
You ask if I'll go to the gym
But all I hear
You're not good enough
All I see
Your wondering eyes

— The End —