Broken girl, Broken life **** me now grab the knife. As I look at myself I look back at what I once was and now I hate myself just because. I don’t feel pretty I don’t feel good I feel as ****** as someone could. Not because I’m insecure not because I’m depressed but because I’m not what society suggest. Build me up just to break me down weeping at night trying to not make a sound. As morning creeps upon me as I awake I pray the lord for my soul to take. Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the sorriest of them all. Is it me? Or is it my man? Dealing with a broken person the best that they can. I have come with no manual just as life didn’t either if I had to deal with me I think I wouldn’t neither. Mama mama can’t you see what this ****** up life done did to me. Flashes of anger mad for no reason darkness surrounds me fall seems to be the only season. Dark all day but not as in dusk to dawn but as in a literal state of my soul being gone. Do you know what it’s like to walk around body mind no soul just imagine seeing life with no color just Gray and Dull. Certain things just make turn you cold world on my shoulders hoping I don’t fold. Picture perfect, life without despair but when I wake I’m gasping for air. Not because it’s a bad dream or because I’m frightened but because I really thought when I awoke my load would’ve been lightened. Keep it all in and just put on a grin because life is unfair and in the end no ones  really there.  One man army it’s sad to say all alone day by day. Psychotherapy supposedly makes you see a way out but when you’re trapped inside your own mind all you believe is doubt. As I Look in the mirror to see my reflection I go to picking out my flaws human dissection. It’s Wednesday another day has gone by but I’m still in this ****** up world living a lie. Why can’t my misery pass just like the days, just one day I’d like to see some sun rays. I’m tired of the storms I’m tired of the rain what did I do to deserve all of this pain.  Dancing with the devil, he comes during my lows he doesn’t miss a day it’s like he always knows. I don’t own a crucifix, I can’t even get away when I’m the one that he picks. Ticking time bomb just waiting to blow, it will come sooner than you know. So many emotions I get lost in what to say , firework girl firework girl I’m soon to let you out to play. - Gabrielle