Memories, permanent like bloodstains,
Bleach scrubs, but the residue remains.
Forgiving holds the key, yet pain sustains.
I long to be clean,
Crave to be seen.
My messy room mirrors my mind,
Frantically scrubbing images to find—
A semblance of sanity, a glimmer of hope.
So I sit idle, in silent chaos, waiting for it to
Elope.

Do you see my light? Does it guide you through the dead of night? Like a light house searching for a loved one will it lead you back. Can you see it in the dark, can you see it amongst the lofty trees through the profuse fog or are you lost forever unable to connect. Are you trapped in the midnight with the wild things and the unknown. I cannot feel you anymore you are not on my radar. Do you see the brightness will it bring you home to me? You have been lost for so long can you even be found, can you even be saved. I seek for you everywhere but you are nowhere. Vanished out of thin air it’s like you didn’t want to be discovered you didn’t want to be established. Maybe you found comfort in the missing. Learned to find solace in the shadows. Maybe you are grounded in the darkness

I’m drowning in the ocean but it feels good. The water takes over my body the euphoria is strong and the current indestructible. I let myself fade into fluid waters. I want someone to come but I know no one will be my savior. So I enjoy the solitude while I fade into the abyss. I’m helpless. Yet feel stronger than I ever have. They sit on the sidelines with a life raft, they hear my cries for help but they go unnoticed. Nevertheless the water validates my feeling. I’m alone now but never felt so alive. I fade deeper and deeper into the unknown until I’m unrecognizable. The pain withers and I’m finally free. While the water captures my lungs we merge; it takes my pain and in return it takes me.

I don’t want to do this, I do not want to stay
The cold emptiness will not go astray
So I ponder, I find a reason to be
what is the point
if I’m no longer me

You are everywhere but beside me
I perceive you in my head
You stalk my dreams
embedded in my soul
Refuse to release
Your grasp binds my spirt
Have persuasion over my mind
Yet you are nowhere
Impossible to find

I’m on a road untraveled. Unaccompanied. Into the wild unto the unknown. The hollow ground beneath my feet. The opportunities are endless. The air. Euphoric.
Just me and my Mother. Who holds the earth in one hand and caresses mine in the other. The nature revives me restoring my embodiment.
I have mourned, yet a new spirt has been reborn. The vibrant flowers and their spirited hue heal my wounds. I am one with this planet and in return it is in unison with me.
I am free amongst the brimming trees. Liberated with the charismatic bees. The supple fruit that is planted, nourishes both my body and my soul.
With society’s chains cast off and worldly expectations behind me, all that remains is the pursuit of adventure and the fortune held within this celestial being