and i suppose
all the days where i was angry, all the days where we weren’t fine,
don’t replay in my mind anymore.
it’s a slow beating heart, waiting for someone,
closing your eyes in the dark, nothing less than what you do every day,
a slow pulling desire you never act on, bounded by strings that you have strung up in sleep,
a slow pulling thought tying up everything loose.
And for the endless river that nobody can see, you’re in it, thigh deep, walking.
i guess you just learn how to swim at some point.
i guess you become your own life buoy.
the slimy algae beneath your paddling feet, you lost your grip,
a long time ago.
This poem was written at 3:30 am on the 23rd of December.
It’s an endless river out there.