When you're awake, it's a single string of text, repeating.
A single musical sting that you can hear against the polluted silence - that isn't ever silent.
They're always wriggling. Always eating.


An imaginary sensation,
You can feel but you cant touch.
An imaginary illusion.
You can see but you cant touch.


Things tend to be like that,
Like ideas,
Always elusive.


Pretty things don’t lie still; they haunt, they stare.
In the static,
you can hear them whispering.


earworms.

and i suppose

all the days where i was angry, all the days where we weren’t fine,

don’t replay in my mind anymore.

it’s a slow beating heart, waiting for someone,

closing your eyes in the dark, nothing less than what you do every day,

a slow pulling desire you never act on, bounded by strings that you have strung up in sleep,

a slow pulling thought tying up everything loose.

And for the endless river that nobody can see, you’re in it, thigh deep, walking.

i guess you just learn how to swim at some point.

i guess you become your own life buoy.

the slimy algae beneath your paddling feet, you lost your grip,

a long time ago.

And the wind outside, it’s speaks against the window frame,

a reflection of the desolate mind.

the quiet pedestrian who ventures in the dark,

avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk, they stroll,

they watch the grass blow in the night,

swaying in the light of the moon.

The cars on the freeway will howl,

the silence polluted, the mind unempty and yet, dead,

like a lethargic bug, crawling along the dirt,

overtired and yet unsleeping.

Leaving someone in the dark like that, while your fingers are interlaced in a web of made up trust,

do you think the people left at the bottom of the hole, the other end of the line, do they survive?

Do you think they can ever learn to try again?

And you ended up liking books and boys, I ended up here, without everything I gave to you,

a part of my love gone forever,

lost to the void, a broken toy, a plan with no ploy,

a difference becoming what id always feared, you became someone I could never be; never see,

someone id stay away from, swear to never know, never show,

forgive but never forget, hurt but never regret.

In the dark, we left each other in no words and no burns, almost as if we never knew one another,

parts of our selves intertwined within identity that became our own,

without a relationship to atone,

we fizzled out, like popsicles melted on a hot sidewalk,

our conversations talked, our journey chalked.