he sees his angry daughter,
i see a suppressed dragon who birthed another.
and fire drips from the wall,
thick oil,
burning down the whole house.
the colour paints my face in streaks of pain.
he talks a monologue,
i put the dishes away;
quickly, careful.
take his plate for it to rot in the sink,
for another woman to clean.
he snatches the soy sauce dish away from my
breaking fingers.
whatever he wants
is a command.
my eyes haze up,
and look up to his.
he has stitched spiders over his lenses.
my mouth blends with my skin,
sewn at the edges,
when his gapes like a black hole.

no arms,
no.                   legs,
no                        head,
no surface  to latch on to;
butchy                        boy.
water                     curls
around a    floating body.
the pressure       suffocates
the idea                      of its
                                   limbs.
faulty                                
fish                    bladder.
no        mouth.
no dream.

wanted blue hair
mum says she can return it

but he refuses
takes the can out my room

no words
he faces me like a shadow

throws it in the trash
out the front

i think of
how ***** i would be
if i dug through *******
to get it back

-

i’m wearing my favourite clothes
he says they aren’t good enough

so i’m shovelling
the fabrics through the mirror
so done with appealing
to his eyes

peel the leggings off my skin
and my shirt off my arms

under the layers
shielding me from the weather
i am a pulsing dragon, waiting, waiting
waiting, waiting
to claw it all
off

I unlaced my shoes
just to colour the strings in

seeing your world
with no eye contact.

walking in sync
across the
golden bridge.

knowing each other
with the lights
broken.

knowing the signal
when the volume
is switched off.

talking without speaking
a single sentence.

glancing to the left
when they look to the right.

their compliment,
their opposite.

i want you
to rummage through my lunchbox
and take whatever
without asking

peel a mandarin;
stuff half in
your mouth.
take a chip,
and bite my pocky.
take all of my
konjac jelly.
catch the
hi-chew
flying mid air.

said you can provide for yourself
but i want to buy you ice cream
before you even think of wanting it

i want to know your
bubble tea order
off by heart

share straws

if love was to
unfold yourself
i am
a paper crane.

choose a side
of my identical halves.
fold my face in half
and then my tail;
leave it free.

take me away.
or ****** me
in your fingers.
fly me away.
or drop me
in puddles
of water.
give me away.
or keep me
suffocating
in your pocket.