I can't help but grin
At how tragic things have become
I wish I had the opportunity to find out if this could have survived
But before we know it
You'll be gone
And I'll still be here
The way Ive always been

No one could hate me
As much as I hate myself
I hope this is where it ends

Bury me among the evergreens
Fog rolling over the hills
Smoldering from my body
As the cascades separate us
This heart still beats for you

All I want to do
Is survive the cold today
and drink with you

Today I realized that
I've been missing you for longer than we were together

As my skull cracks
Thoughts run like yolk from my lips
I watch street lights flicker like frames on a screen
I rest pills beneath my tongue till they turn into chalk
Merging with the grain of my teeth
I see strangers in passing
Each new body feels like a steady beat of nonsense
Losing all reason
All meaning
There is no savior
Only silence

Sinking, sinking into – thought loops, swaying back and forth and falling out of tune.
Thinking back to, when I found you, drifting out to space and losing altitude.
Faintly fading – faster – farther each year, though I still remember when you used to be here.
Wondering what would happen if I screamed.
Out of key, you lost yourself, in your dreams.
off beat.
****.
Offbeat, lost rhythm, you’re not fine.
Repeat, retreat – into your dying mind.
Asleep – not waking up this time.
Distanced Human, disillusioned to no end.
Distanced Human, I will always call you “friend”

Only those who care for you can hear you when you’re silent

Every now and then I miss it
Even though I know it’s better that it ended

Days like these are hard
Am I selfish for that?
Or just nostalgic for something that wasn’t at all how I remembered it being

An orange
Wrapped in paper towels
Rotting at the bus stop
Turns the air into sour wine

Rain strikes the pavement
Rinsing blood and alcohol
And spit and ash
From the concrete

Cradled beneath a steel bench
The suburbs resemble orchards
Family Trees
Bearing no fruit

Your skin was blemished only by
Thousands of tiny cuts from blades of grass

I had a dream that my head was rotting. Friends I never spoke to sat idly by, detecting no abnormality. They smoked cigarettes a top their car, waiting for something to pull back the curtains of the night sky. My breathe went stale and the ground shook. I began to choke. overhead something watched us... and then I woke up. A sacrifice.