Bathing in sunlights golden glow
My chest is hollow
Breaths sinking in duranged seas of self pity
Black holes reflecting no emotion in my skull
That twinkle in my eyes been lost
I took it from myself
I break it every day
Conscience gone
What have I become
I'll never forget this day
The day I lost my humanity
The day I knew I wasn't supposed to be here
Burry me in my mistakes
In my misguided intentions
In tears shed for my name
Drown me with them
Pouring this sickness down my throat
Fill this empty vessel with it
In hopes that I don't reject it
In hopes that I can one day
Know the warmth I missed out on
Bathing in sun lights golden glow
Oblivious to my surroundings
To my peers
Restore me
Or let me lay here until night falls
And I can rest helpless
In soft decay

"You know you should really start taking antidepressants"-h

"I just don't trust myself with a bottle of pills"-I

"Well, I mean, they come in packets"-h

Pale blue light peeks through the shutters
An aero plane growls overhead
And again I find my self sleeping at the foot of a supervisors bed frame

Once again my thoughts stir and churn around my skull like some toxic butter that always ends up spilling into my stomach and making me wish I hadn't indulged in any of the activities that would've led me to this moment

This moment of being morally nauseous

Lying on the grass in the comfort of nights cool starlight sheet pulled over me
I can't feel a live soul for miles

I am electric
Thoughts lost in the static of leaves swaying above me
Gusts of wind offering a crisp shock to my skin
And sounds surrounding the atmosphere just for me
For me!

A moment like this was presented
A terrible joy found in sadness
Like biting the cuts on the inside of your mouth
Or squeezing a bruise to know where it hurts

Where does it hurt?
What physical force will cure this?

This
Which I cannot see
This
Which I cannot control
This
Which I am

How do you fix something
That was never truly complete?
Glueing together fragments of something that never existed

Everyday it gets worse
Drowning in my own thoughts
Gasping for air
Shaking
Freezing
In the cold emptiness
I felt when I knew it ended
I thought I'd be okay
But it crosses my mind more often than not
I just want to feel warm again
Wrapped in familiar limbs
Breathing in every moment we had like it'd be our last
I thought I was okay
It's clear now
Despite the visions of your eyes corrupting my view
That I'm not

Shake me sunlight dreamer
Let tears of light echo from the moon
And fade into makeshift horizons
Their presence like warm medication
Seducing the brain
Peircing in a soft delude
As if to warn against the crisp corruption
That so innocently
resonates in the hollow of her naked eyes

Do "chicks"
Still dig "scars"?
Because I've got a load of physical,
And emotional ones
That contradict my singularity