When the hospital was my home
People cared
People gave me gifts
Apologized
Told me how much I mattered
When the hospital was my home
People were there
People said hi
Noticed me
Recognized their mistakes
Now that home is my house
The darkness
Blends nicely with the loneliness
A nice collage
Of depression
Now that home is just a house
Nobody cares

My family is great
While the other kids
Grew up learning recipes
Passed down from generation
To generation
I have learned
How to pronounce
The long names
Of the many medications
My mother
My father
Myself
Collect
While the other kids
Flaunt their mother's eyes
And father's last name
I took
My mother's happiness
My father's patience
And both of their
Illnesses
Gosh
I love learning
About my family

You tried to shake me awake. "Wake up! It's time to eat!"
And I swatted your hand away, and it might've been rude but...
"I don't want to."

I don't want to see me, either
It is revolting.

I packed your lunch box
I ran you a bath
Mom was asleep
So I helped you with your math
I wiped your tears
And hummed a tune
You snuggled up close
In a tight blanket cocoon
You closed your eyes
You drooled on my chest
And I smiled softly
Oh, baby sister, rest
Sleep well
Sweet dreams
You know,
All those things
Big brother loves you
You sweet baby girl
I'll love you forever
You're my whole world
Momma is asleep
Dad's left for work
So when you are in trouble
I have to be the ****
But baby girl I love you
I don't mean to be so harsh
And though my punishments angering,
I'll never make you starve
The way mom and dad
Always treated me
I just hope that you
Grow up peacefully
Baby sister you're growing
And I am so, so proud
And I'm sorry I'm all that's there
No parents are around
But baby girl I love you
And no payments due
I'm just looking out for you
Like I always do

"Everything's okay'"
"Nothing is fine."
"You'll be okay-"
"In how much time?"
"Listen to what I say-"
"As long as it's kind."
"I've had some time away-"
"And what did you find?"
"That it'll be okay-"
"But I've waited a long time."
"The pain goes away-"
"I think you are lying."
"Please, it's okay-"
"Nothing is fine."

Laying my head
On your shoulder
Your head resting gently
On mine
You kiss my forehead
Stop that
I am not yours to kiss
But it felt nice
When you moved your fingers
From the side of my cheek
And allowed them to wander on my neck
Dancing across the skin
And when you put your hand back on my thigh
I still felt the tingling feeling
On my neck
And God
I am falling in love with you again
But I will not give in
Because what you are doing is not fair
You don't love me
And I am not supposed to love you
It's not fair
Don't touch me again
But please
Please God
Please keep touching me