Why do they have to pretend they like you. Do they think it will make you feel better if they lie to
you. To let you believe they love you and want you, to only find out they never wanted you in the
first place. As soon as they find out you want them too they take that opportunity to use you and
take advantage of what you have to offer. Maybe I want someone to hold me. someone to tell
me they love me and really mean it. to let me know everything is ok and that I will never be on
my own. Someone to take the pain away and wipe my tears. someone who will make me forget
all my fears. Someone to believe I am beautiful just the way I am and not want to change
anything about me. Someone that I can love with everything I am and get it back in return.
Someone who won't lie to me and pretend to be something he’s not. Someone who will let me
help them chase all their demons away and take their breath away. Why can’t I have this maybe
it is not possible for me to love. Maybe I am unlovable and incapable of the compassion others
want. Maybe I’m better off on my own, being all alone so I don’t burden anyone why my hidden
scars or to let you know that you everything I need you keep me on my feet you keep me
breathing. Think of you, you can’t see me and what I think of you I wish all my dreams would
come true but I guess I got what I asked for when I met you. But then again not everything will
go my way because no one promised me that you would stay. So I will say goodbye to you, it
hurts so bad but you never knew how deeply i fell in love with you, but now it’s too late and
everything is gone. I’m falling down falling apart but you don’t seem to care as long as I let you
go I guess it’s all fair.

What do you do when you have nothing left to say.
When all you want to do is sit in your room and weep quietly to yourself,
to never re appear into the world
never having to look someone in the face again and tell them everything is ok,
to fake a smile and hide what you’re feeling inside.
You know it doesn’t feel right when you cry,
it’s almost as if you don’t deserve to cry because you know somewhere someone is way worse off than you are.  
You know you shouldn’t but you can’t help but to let the tears fall from your eyes slowly.
your heart is shattering and you don’t know why you always feel like you’re ruining everything.
When you feel the need to apologize for everything and you can’t help but question everything.
You want to let your guard down,
let the walls you built come tumbling down but you just can’t because you will never trust yourself to love fully and with all of yourself again.
You can’t trust someone to get their grip on your heart because you never know when they are gonna let it fall to the ground and throw it away like it means nothing.
So you hold it in and you never let go because you can’t set yourself free again.
Because all you can do is fall and those walls keep you walking straight with your head held high and your heart high out of the reach of everyone who could harm it.

Your heart beats in time with mine
The sounds start to rhyme,
The sound of your voice rushing over my body
Falling deeper, deeper for you.
Wanting you, needing you.
Knowing everything is ok as you place your hand in mine,
Your arms wrapped around me as we embrace in a hug.
Feeling the warmth, feeling the protection of your love holding me tight.
How does it feel to be loved deeply  by someone I would ask you.
Do you feel the butterflies living inside of you?
Do you feel the sun shining on you warming your skin?
To feel the softness of a kiss pressed against your lips
Your bodies intertwined, the touch feeling like electricity coursing through your body.
Taking your time to enjoy every minute because you know you're not always promised tomorrow.
Before you fall asleep five words escape your lips...
You whisper in her ear,
I will always love you...

you left me alone to cry, but yet my eyes are still dry
You didn't want to hurt me I find that hard to believe.
you pretended to care, but you were just afraid of being alone.
Afraid of the consequences of getting involved.
you loved her but she didn't want you back,
the love I held for you is the love you wanted from her
and the love you held for her is the love I wanted from you.
I held you close to my heart but that doesn't matter does it?
I wasn't good enough because I wasn't what you wanted I wasn't her.
the words from your mouth faded away they weren't loud enough to break through to me.
I should have seen it before it was all right in front of me,
you wanted her you never wanted me
You said you didn't know what you wanted but I feel deep inside you really do
you just know that she will never want you.
You had something good right in front of your eyes, but wait I guess I actually wasn't considered good to you.
I  let you think everything was ok,
I pretended that I didn't care.
The the emotions roll off of me and I try to protect you,
won't let you feel bad
even when my heart is breaking, you're the only consideration.

I told you once, I told you twice...
I won't always play nice
you hurt me dragged me down,
you held my heart in your hand... you didn't care though
you tightened your grip crushing it all at once.
The pain..... I got used to it,
Eventually my body became numb from the inside out.
I walked through life day by day feeling nothing.
emotionally detached before I left you physically.
you noticed me starting to pull away, you never liked it that way.
you were my worl my shining star, what more could you expect of me.
Holding me under the water drowning in my thoughts of you,
my dreams of forever crushed by your weight pulling me down
Loving you was all I had
I soon realised losing everything isn't worth nothing
It's worth more than you could imagine
letting go could be my escape, overthinking is too much for me
too much for you, what else could I possibly do.
lift my hand and wave so long
closing the door to say good bye
the only thing chasing me now is hte memory of you,
but that will soon be forgotten too.

Should I stay or should I go?
I guess you never really cared either way did you?
If I stay you will be bored with the words that come out of my mouth,
If I go you can talk to her and be at peace with yourself.
You're holding on to me because I love you the way you wish she would.
If she would just just hold your hand you would give me up just like any other man.
I ask you to hold me tight but even when you do, I know it's her you think about.
We say I love you but I never know if those words are meaningless to you.
Thecompassion you hold for her is outstanding oh how I wish I could gain that love.
one touch and I'm in shock but you couldn't give a f**ck.
everyday I fall closer to you as you pull farther away.
could disapear forever, I could let eberything go.
you wouldn't catch me you wouldn't hold on to any of it because you never cared and I'm falling out of place
miss placing my step, losing my feeling.
losing everything keeping me sane just for your sake.
it's time to let go it's time to stop something that's totally fake.
start something new, something without you.

Sometimes we wonder why the people in out life's stick around.
We think we are such terrible people no one should love us.
You wonder how people find you beautiful when you can't even stand to to look in the mirror.
You spend time boosting others self esteems because you can't boost your own.
You see the beauty in everyone else but you can't find an ounce of it in yourself.
Always looking to make your presence known,
so you're not forgotten about. You look for the good in all the bad.
You look for a reason to live,  
only to find more reasons to die, 
isn't that sad?
This world is so ******* up.
They say people who act less happy are just being deprressed.
Maybe everyone else needs to take of the rose tinted glasses that make everything seem so perfect.
This world is all about money, 
***, 
drugs, 
technology, 
unreasonable body images for everyone to try to become.
No one is noticing the world falling apart.
You stick to yourself trying to make sure no one notices you falling to pieces.
Telling everyone you're OK,
putting on your mask and walking away.
Life just gets harder each and every day.
You latch on to what is left,
the tiny ounce that tells you to get up,  get dressed.
It's not that you're afraid to die, 
afraid of death.
you're afraid of how it will affext others around you.
You think of everyone else instead of yourself.
Everyone's happiness comes before yours.
You're tired all the time and no one seems to notice.
They don't notice your tears, 
how much you try, 
the smile you fake, 
or the battles you face.
They notice your flaws,
your mistakes, 
anything that will make you look down on yourself.
No one cared to help you learn perfection in your imperfections.
No bodies perfect and everyone has  a dark kind of beauty inside them.