Keep in mind
You're just like your friends.

So choose wisely
Because no matter how different you think you are
No one else can tell the difference.

I've learned to live this way
Because of people like you.
Yes you.
No matter how bad of a person I think I am
You are worse.

You take insecurities and
Give me less of a reason to feel safe
Especially behind my back.  

I'm sorry your stupidity probably doesn't understand
What half of these mean.

Ever understood an analogy?

Here it is plain and simple.

Go **** yourself.

What's the perfect guy
If he's not perfect for you

I'm getting used to being alone.
Comfortable with being by myself.

Not in the good way.
Opposite of growing confidence.

Like me building myself up
To having no expectations.

No invitations out.
No boys talking to me.

Unless it's for homework.
Or being *****.


I guess we can't all have everything.
So don't check me off for friends or happiness.

I've never been good at commitment.
My parents tell me I never slept with the same toy twice.

I guess times haven't changed.
I can't bring myself to be with you.

You're too good for me.
And I can't allow myself to be with you.
Because the last thing I deserve
Is you.
Because you could be the best thing that's ever happened to me.
And I can't give myself that.

I don't respect myself enough.
I can't give you some **** to take your gold.

So what I'm trying to say is
We'd never work out.

As cliché as it is
It's me not you.

I can't live up to you.
Don't try to tell me I'm wrong.
Because as soon as you
Take me home to your mom.

She'll say the same ******* thing.
I think it's time to move on.

and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it