Fah - Hello Poetry

Fah Dec 2013

I've been told many things but i have felt a few more.

I've swapped:

Blue skies/\Grey Skies
Monsoon Rain/\Drizzle
Island/\Island
Family/\Family

and it makes me tired, but i should not complain, it's a strange kind of beauty.

All this movement....it's something i asked for... but it carries with it a kind of intoxicating nostalgia.

On one hand , it's a most free feeling , the nomadic journey.
One see's with eyes wide open , to the new oldness of a place , and the new oldness of the people who reside there.
You, with cut throat precision come to terms with the fact that,
whilst you have been adventuring, feeling the motions..routine has stood time still...

On the other hand. I yearn for a key to my own front door, where my bags are not packed, and i can invite people over, where i can cook, and clean and maybe fall asleep on the kitchen floor if i feel so inclined.

For there are more gains then losses and i am thankful , for my lesson filled escapade that is this fictitious life.

---

I've been told many things but i have felt a few more.

I - in all my running , nothing has really worked out the way i'd hoped.
But i have become fierce , like a panther.

I stalk the quiet night time hours , i seek the cover of darkness, i want to fly under the radar.

I've been told many things but i have felt a few more.

Don't waste energy talking about something , just do it.
Watchful like a fox, notice the energetic frequencies of actions , of places of emotions , of times , of days.

I've been told many things but i have felt a few more.

People are always warning me ,
you need to remember you were made to have a mortal life.

As if i can escape it.

i've written very little - in a space where usually i would use writing as my funnel to make sense of this strange world...i guess it's all starting to flow now... Swapped Bali for London and another swap in 2 days..

Fah Dec 2013

^.^

Why do we often see ourselves as cracked mirrored monsters
and soul-less entities that are worth less than the next ?

How does this ring true to the infinite beauty that you know lies within your self.
In the form of cells and dna...in the form of your ethereal creation...in the hug you give some one...

It is not the mistrust of yourself that seeps into your pores but it is the mistrust of a world in which 'an honest lie' is called advertising and a commended joy.

We have no morals , no code of conduct , we are free to chose yet condemned to no choice unless we ourselves decide that it is so.

For nothing is , until we deem it.

The sun is not a sun until i say so , at least not to me.
I am a universe unto myself and a god unto my own being,
i am creation's destruction.

Even if we don't always feel it , we always are it.

There is, a colder side to the summer but only so we know what cold is and what hot can be.
We are no more nor less than the ant, than the bumble bee.

Fah Dec 2013

.To You , with love from Me.

Dimension upon universe
our fantasies spill out in words and emotions,

Tame my wild mind and ground me to the earth
because i am lightning without thunder.

Unfurl my brow, because it takes one less muscle to smile.

Ease my heart with 3 words...
Cosmic Space Pancakes?

Teach me about loving myself enough to say yes to myself and no to the people who were never meant to be mine.

Whisper your carnal caramel luxuries into my skin,

i guess you must see my scars as beauty.

Play with my hair so i can fall asleep on a floating bed of lotus flowers ,
Time bends at the flick of a finger or the brush of a leg.

We exist only as dust motes floating in a stream of light ..
Energies , manifesting as human for a while ,
Heartbeats deteriorating ,
Toenails growing ,
Idea birth-ers.

It must be the chemistry, or something in the air,
but i think with you i won’t be cold.

I admire your ability to see things through.
I admire your kindness and honesty.

So , one sunny winter’s day.
We’ll execute our escape plan.

Fah Dec 2013

thirteen word thursday

Listless lies the lizards ,
languishing in lantern lit caves ,
lavish , little , flies
adorn plates.

Fah Dec 2013

Untitled

A cloud is beautiful for a moment , only illuminated by the dropping sun.

It turns grey, dull and flat.

I hear no cries for what was lost , only quiet transformation into another.

There is peace in knowing that all this must move, all this heart ache and sadness must move , but first you must let it go , like the cloud.

transform into another.

do not shun the darkness…merge with it , guided by the light of the moon guardian , dappling the cloud with her ethereal light, a new beauty is taken on , until the promised sunrise appears.

And even though it may seem that night and day are places that we must dwell in , one look outside the planet and the sun shines on regardless.

It is always light. Even when there seems darkness.

Fah Dec 2013

Because tears are just wisdom distilled.

tear apart the seams

it’s ok.

i, don’t wanna talk about it.

even looking at the writing i wrote about you makes me feel slightly nauseous , it ...it’s not that i didn’t love you but....

well perhaps it was my fault ,

i don’t know

i don’t know

i thought i loved you. Ok.

and how is it? that one moment i can feel the whole world for you and the next....
it's lightning struck tree all over again.

Do not get me wrong , you inspired me to write and to breathe , you showed me loving myself wasn’t that hard and yet , yet .... you...broke my heart just like aunty said.

you broke it good and well that i didn’t even realize until i was out from under your spell...

                                                                  * ~ * ~ * ~

Open my heartspace ,
you were golden in my eyes ~

heavy sits the stone in my chest , cracking as i walk, dropping bits of crystal on the floor, turning to molten liquid scorching the floor with unsaid words and dispelled feelings to seep into
the ocean of bliss

burning the waters to desert residues
in the blink of 3 eyes ,

i saw in you - the flash of brilliance that i know is holy. The kind that could rule the world if, you dared.

But you were too scared ,

i want to explore this world , step out of my comfort zone , feel like i add to the mass of human potential -
not accept my consumer status because it’s simpler ,
i don’t care about public image , i despise whittling myself down for some pre-conceived notion of etiquette, and i can’t stand people seeing they have the power and not taking it.

You are a reason and you have a purpose, we are only here for a short time , this is our chance at something great and i want to share it with you.

I wanted to help you , and maybe that was my mistake.
To make you see yourself through me ,
that you were golden in my eyes
and should think yourself no less.

So i let you in to the secret place , my choice , i don’t regret it, not one bit.
I guess you made me a woman  so to speak. But i don’t think you are any more of a man.

You were a 26 year old boy.

Nor were you anymore of a lover who was soft and fair ,
but you twirled my hair, turned my lips to ashes , sashayed across my hips, tore holes in my skin with your teeth , sneaked kisses on my inner thighs , you danced with my imagination and petted my ego...oh so gently.

I saw a newer version of myself through you ,
and maybe , i just like being adored,
but i would have given everything back. I’m all for fairness
and in some twisted way i hope i hurt you as much as you hurt me, just so you know how it feels, but somehow i think , it was me who ended up with the short straw on this one.

I’m sure there are gaps in your fingers you don’t understand, let alone loving someone, but i hope you get this , your lesson was : Love freely.

And you know , if that makes me stronger and more flexible and if it means that i can bounce back faster , then so be it. I will learn my lessons in time , because i’m shooting for the stars and i intend to be amongst the nebulas that shimmer so well.

And i intend to love with that ferocity again and even more , because i won’t give you that.

Not after i ******* my being in ribbons for you. No. I won’t and i can’t.
I’m worth so much more.
So these tear filled words are as much for me as for you , that i hope one day , someone comes along who can give you what you need to make you happy.

Because i’m *pretty sure i’ve already found mine.

this is long overdue, i guess i didn't really wanna look at the scars , they're almost healed i guess.

Fah Dec 2013

-Just the tip of the iceberg-

silken honey dew essence ,
natural bioluminescence , Aura pulsates in time to the  flowing blood veins ,

fingertip lips taste like lightning just before it flicks the ground with his forked tongue -

stomach tingle , heart dip , drop.
lose it all , lose it again -
transfer the same -
enlarge the plane,

feel the vibrations of:  never the same , again. Expansive minds roll on ...

                                                                     ~~~*

Escaped moan is free, darkness turns to light.
the whispers,
   kept between you and me.

Animal instinct , Divine instinct

        slips in.
                          slips out.

carving chasms and canyons out of skin...a glint of menace  and copious amounts of mischief dance in his eyes , like a snake charmer sashaying the imaginary into existence.

                      the space dew tastes....like raspberry Champagne bubbles...

the energy flows are opening now,  to handle the cosmic ******...

one must prepare -
an untrained mind , might combust -
or worse yet , attract the dijins for foolish endeavors into treasure map waters...

Sensi bows - game , set , match.

Practice makes Perfect..