why does it cost
to love freely
the men in our
communities
need to see
people like you & me

our men can get locked up
for a systems corruption,
corruption in our community
draws a invisible line
at queerness
a way of life
a way of expressing
a way of loving
this threatens you

why?

describe your addiction
the pace , a click
it’s not so easy to fix
did you really need that
a question in the
back of my mind

learn this time
but which time will be
the one

haven’t watching that movie
since I last saw you
the soundtrack is loud enough
for me to remember
but steady enough for me to forgive

i pray it stays that way

angel numbers, the guides
the repetition
they remind me that
im on my way,
things take time
and
change is inevitable

learn to give yourself and others grace
they whisper

the in between
as we
grow and learn
no one speaks of life’s
longest season
limbo
both
silent and powerful
but
frustrating and agonizing

i evaluate
past friendships
in my mind
a vault empty
scattered trinkets
of memories
was any of it
real
did I learn my
lesson

will you stay
until the end?
my fear is
loneliness

these days
and nights will
take flight
but my connection
to my
spirituality
intuitively i know
we will
be alright
I’ll cherish the day
I won’t go ashtray