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Evan Stephens Apr 2019
My heart's exploding
like a thundercloud -
No, my heart's eroding,

my tongue corroding,
iron-bound, rain-ploughed,
no heart's exploding.
  
But the moon's unloading
a tide that's pain-proud,
& I feel my heart's eroding.

I hear it all, try decoding
her art. Play it loud -
until my heart's exploding.

Yet something's foreboding,
these sheets are shrouds -
under them, my heart's eroding.

Her eyes are goading
until I've vowed
to her my heart's exploding -
But my heart's eroding.
Apr 2019 · 101
Sestina (N---)
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Ancient rain still wreathes your hair, lingers,
unwilling to assume the mantle of air. I am flame,
I am July, ascending into strange worship.
Be careful even as you read this, your eye vulnerable
in the desert ruin of this page, each word entwined
with the quiet, holy book-scent.

N, was this an invitation to you? Bathed in the scent
of mint from soccer field gardens that lingers
despite twenty years of memorial rust, entwining
with your dark hair that flashes guttering flame.
Mint and hair our prophesy, but still vulnerable,
liable to dissolve. Let us by reading worship

the old poets; Lorca our hymnal. We’ll worship
as fervent heathens until no mint, no hair, no scent
of books can stop this ribbon river moment, invulnerable.
Old orbits decay invisibly but still we linger
in our mansions of hurt histories, cored by the flames.
I am reduced by degrees to a shadow, entwined

with a false animal made for the world, entwined
the way the barb is with the wire. Worship
is fading smoke crying nostalgically for flame,
is the intoxicating almond whose scent
bears the mystery of cyanide. Come, N, linger
in my world with me, so vain and vulnerable.

Savonarola burned away the vanities – wooden and vulnerable,
the crooked dice screamed. Playing cards entwined
with the illustrated pages of risqué books, a perverse worship,
a sacrifice that rose in pornographic ash and lingered
in the branches of midnight above charcoal Florence until the scent
collapsed soft as a sigh back into moraled flames.

N, perhaps you are the consuming flame
in this story. Am I your violin, varnish melting, vulnerable?
Or am I Savonarola, lighting the first match, the telltale scent
of match heads gambling in the breeze? We are entwined
in a new history. Come read with me. Worship
the blind hills of the sea. Their melancholy lingers.
from 2013
Apr 2019 · 170
Sonnet (My Dear)
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
My dear,
your laugh's
a telegraph.
It cheers
me in hours
like this,
when bliss
has power
to redeem.
Your smile's
a beam
over sugared miles,
a sweet key -
it makes me free.
Apr 2019 · 524
Sonnet (Old Church)
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
A gray rain
is slinking down
the sunken crown
of alley lane.
Green-topped church,
I bid goodbye
to your broad thigh,
a mourning perch.
I'll miss the stone
that frames this view
of moon, a bitten scone
against night's broken brew -
you were a hardy bone
that braked my raving blues.
Apr 2019 · 453
Sonnet (I'll Be Your Bard)
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
I'll be your bard
and write to you -
love notes, true.
In the yard,
the cherry-starred
blossoms flew,
a kiss's queue,
The Lovers tarot card.
O my distant one,
come near -
I'll read you Donne,
hold you here
while the sun
appears then disappears.
Sonnet
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
She reads by candle
in the little kitchen
by the rain-licked window,
pushing against a dark
that's black as pepper,
black as the merlot bottle.

It's empty, the bottle,
neck used for candles.
As for the pepper,
it spread across the kitchen
in the quasi-dark,
when she opened the window.

No - that window
is a lie. So is the bottle,
& the rest. I tried the dark
against the candle,
in the mind's kitchen,
got stuck on pepper.

Let's try again: pepper
falls like snow in the dark
when I'm in the kitchen
making dinner, bottles
open for tasting, candles
lit against the coming dark...

Much better. Seal this dark,
speckled with salt and pepper,
with the soft wax of candles.
Open the window,
tilt the bottle,
dance in the kitchen,

the new kitchen -
feel the call of the dark -
drink from the same bottle,
Burgundy earthy as pepper,
close the windows
& touch me with the candle.

I drink from the bottle in the black kitchen,
ignoring the cold candle in the dark.
There's pepper blowing out the window.
candle, kitchen, window, dark, pepper, bottle.
Apr 2019 · 1.0k
39th Birthday
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The
Dublin
strand
is papered
in wind,
my old
book
renewed
into
romance.
I love her.

Pen
scratches
the
whole
page
black,
& variant
sprawls
of my
name
repeat
until I
own a
house.

Sister
& I
in dad's
old car
head
up to
Petworth,
& walk
back
under
a sky
that
rolls
& folds,
a bolt
of cloth.

Break
new trees
on the
prison
island,
handcuffs
of ivy,
jump
the fence
& escape
to the
highway.

In
Georgetown,
lush reeds
wave from
the canal
bottom,
easting
in the
chartreuse.

Then cross
to Dupont,
thronged
with
day-enders
and students
shifting
from
coffee to
*****
as the
hour rises.

Scheherazade
cancels,
but I make
the best
of it,
writing at
the bar
next to
the girl
in leatherette.

The day
ends
with me
fighting
the pharmacy
of my
sleepy
blood
while I
break
the bed
I always
hated
and
throw it
into the
orange.

Day's done.
Another
year to
come.
Thinking
of her -
sleep.
Apr 2019 · 170
Ghazal for E--
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
She lies in bed asleep,
while I shed the deep
shade of my birthday.
My sun's low red leap
is her *****-edge moon.
Tonight I sled steep
drifts of draft, palest ale,
while her head sweeps
her day to dream.
Happy hour's dead cheap
but I go home to pack.
My zee's her zed, heaps
of them for her, I hope.
Evan's heart is hers to keep.
Apr 2019 · 84
Pantoum for E--
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
There is no night
                 without your name.
The day suffers too,
but limps along
on a swan's wing.

There is still much
                 to do
before you fly in,
but if we need anything,
it's ours.

When I ask
                 how you've been
write me a book -
your hours
are always new.

So give me that
                 laughing look,
for I belong
only to you -
there is no night
                 without your name.
Apr 2019 · 318
A Spring Day
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
This is
a blank
diary
day, a
day to
refuse
history,
a day
to buy
the sun
on credit.

There is
a vagrant
flower
in the
fragrant
bower
below
a dappled
maple
that
reminds
me of
you -
a traveler,
beautiful
wherever
it posts
its blossom.

A day
where
Lorca's spell
unfurls:
"Green, I want you green,
green wind, green branch”

The sky is
casually
tossed
into a
patch
of wild
spearmint -
this is
a day
where
we join
the high
things.

This is
a day
for a
child's
lace
dress,
a day
when
the bricks
sigh with
their
architecture.

This,
this is
a day
for coins
of clouds
to pay our
admission
fee to
heaven.
Quoted passage from Lorca's Somnambulist Ballad
Apr 2019 · 209
Photographs
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
In a photo
a man is
lighting
his
cigarette
in a
grain of
shadow,
his face
just for
a moment
caught
on a
hook of
light.

It could
be anywhere.
Maybe
even
this city,
clad in
green
squares
& stone
circles,
whose
soft
evening
runs
like yolk
into night.

Then
in another
photograph
I saw
the
hallelujah
of your
face.

I forgot
the
speckled
city,
I forgot
the man
& his
vine
of light.
My own
name
seemed
drunk
with you,
lost in
the wine
of your
talent.

Some
things
are
branded
on the
inside
of your
skin
forever:
the taste
of milk
or mint,
the raw
flower
of ***,
the slow
sacrifice
of the
candle,
a first
love,
& a last
love.

Darling,
turn me
inside out
& sign
your name
with fire.
Apr 2019 · 128
Patience
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Neruda
my father,
Plath
my mother -
watch how
their child
eats the
raw
peach
fingers
of dawn
with
teeth
sharp
as poems.

Within
me, a
tower of
patience,
where
I stand
calm as
barefoot
trees.

It rains,
drops
fat as
cherry
stones,
as I
nestle
my stripe
against
my throat
in my
good
black
shoes,
aching
circles
of smiles
on my
cheeks.

Darling,
come hide
in my
heart
& peek
at the
soft
world
when
you are
ready.

There is
room for
both of
us in
here to
watch
the
accordion
of my
ribs
play
Astor
on loop
until the
cherry
rain
dies in
the branch
of sky,
revealing
the playing
card of
morning.

Occasionally
I will
pack a
suitcase
of language
and flee
to your
heart,
hiding
behind
the petals
of history
and art.
I know
I will
be safe
from
the shackles
of the
glacial
darkness.

Neruda
my father,
Plath
my mother -
I'm patient
& inevitable.
Love,
forgive
my queries
& take my
nine lives.

We have
claimed
the sun.
Come,
let us
steal the
moon, too.
Apr 2019 · 257
Blue
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The
night
is so
painfully
blue
that
my
chest
becomes
a cave
of melody.

Cars
exchange
blue
places
like chess
pieces
castling.

The moon
hears the
blue
dreams
of you
that
string
from my
fingers,
& bursts
with
desire.

I watch
planes
crisscross
the tube
of indigo,
but I
don't
care -

you aren't
on one
of them,
yet.
Apr 2019 · 253
I Hear You
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Your
voice
combs
the
blue
of my
blood -

you're
so deep
I hear
you
even
above
the
knocking
gray
of work.

Your
voice
flares
in me,
a beacon
to
something
that
swallowed
400
blazing,
aching
pages,
& still
is
ravenous.
Apr 2019 · 346
Sevens
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
I speak
& dice
roll on
my tongue.

I move
to kiss
you
& my
mouth
is filled
with
sevens,
sevens,
sevens.
Apr 2019 · 437
On Sleep
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
How
many
nights
did I
lower
myself
into the
well of
sleep
unwilling,
like a
sacrifice,
my
dreams
caught
in the
net of
morning?

How
many
nights
did I
chase
sleep
but fall
into
the nest
of insomnia?

Now
I know
the night
front
to back;
but
I am
more
interested
in you,

& the
empire
of dreams
that is
gifted
to you.

What
parades
through
your
drowsy
pavilion?

What
constellations
& what
wilding,
benighted
tangos?

What
incandescence
does your
brain
gather
in those
starry,
wheeling
hours?

I will
sleep
now,
& meet
you
in the
enchanted
ether
that
seethes
between us,

joining
your
wild
tango
of oblivion
with my
burning
tropic of
Aries,

knowing,
with
sorrow,
that
the
bright
axe
of waking
will
cleave it
all
away.
Apr 2019 · 692
Letter, Quoting Othello
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Dearest E--,

"For she had eyes
and chose me"

I send
you a
small
lyric.

You
have
always
deserved
it.

“But I will wear
my heart upon my sleeve”

I take
this
play
& fit it
to my
need
this
Sunday,

my heart
a cuff,
shaking
with
morning,
affixed
with
a storm.

“I would not put a thief
in my mouth
to steal my brains.”

Your
voice
plays
among
my teeth,
& soon
my
thoughts
are your
rings,
Lorca's
green.

“Men should be
what they seem.”

"Our bodies are our gardens
to the which our wills are gardeners.”

My past,
with all
of its
attempts,
is as
naked
to you
as this
vein
that flees
my wrist.

In the
glass
you can
see me
whenever
you
choose,
even
though
my hair
waves
the
wrong
way
& my
olive
skin
dawns
with
ardor.

"To you I am bound
for life and education"

You
have the
scratch-map
to adventure -
you
journeyed
deep -
whereas
I spent
a life
burning,
'a trail
for the
devil to
erase.'

You are
a beam
let into
the rooms
of night.

I am
bound
like a
sailor
to the
mast.  

"Each second
stood heir
to the first"

Time
sips
from
each
glass,
moving
down
the line.

I miss
you,

Ever Yours,
Evan
Apr 2019 · 277
A Mending Song
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
There
is a
rain here
that
hangs
like
threadbare
silk
from the
cloud,
never
falling.

Birds
chop the
morning
with
their
small
flight.

They
gather
on the
church
before
shattering
the quiet
with a
clatter
of wing.

I stitch
these
things
I see
to mend
you.

This
morning
you
sent
me Yeats
so I
send him
back:

"So great a sweetness flows into the breast
We must laugh and we must sing,
We are blest by everything,
Everything we look upon is blest."
Apr 2019 · 321
Hirschhorn
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
My
white
jag
of
heartbeat
on the
panorama
wall,

scrawled
like
a stock
market,
or
lightning.

Strange
thoughts
moved
through
me in
that
swerving
jetty of
blood
slip:

I kept
saying
your
name,
as if
the air
would
part
at the
seams
& reveal
you,

& when
I went
outside
my
pulse
splayed
itself
across
the lawn.

I read
a tedious
novel
of sun,
while
around
me
families
carouseled
with
lovers.

I felt
like my
heartbeat
remained
visible
to all
of them,
that they
all
saw it
taken
from
the
museum
wall
by
careful
curators
and
presented
to you.
Apr 2019 · 312
Dresses
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
You
try on
the white
dress
with the
blossoms
across
your
*******,
the pink
dress
with the
cherries
stamped
on your
body,
purple
stockings
peeking
from
the hem
held
bashfully
in hand.

When
I saw
you
my
multiple
heart
could
crush
angels.

This
cloth,
cut close
with
the lust
of spring,
given
to your
dizzy
shape,
carries
me.

My
heart, a
palanquin
for yours.
Apr 2019 · 358
3,379
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
We
laughed
& it was
nighttime.
That was
only
the first
part.

The
perfect
row
of your
hair
& your
easy
head-thrown
smile
was the
second
part.

The tour
through
the
house of
questions
& the
gilded
sea
was the
third
part.

One
call
& 3,379
miles
were
rescinded,
their
power
extinguished
by the
eyes in
cameras.

Your
heart,
beautiful
heart,
was the
final
act of
magic.

Red choir,
brave
& vulnerable
ache,
apple
of grace,
lilac
shadow -
draw
me in
& hold me.
Apr 2019 · 710
Tarot, Love Reading
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The
past -
the five
of swords.

"Destruction,
reversal,
infamy,
loss."

I pulled
at the
stars
for
years.
I left
rooms
with
my hand
over
my face.
I counted
clotted
clouds
& wondered
which
was mine -
but none
were.

The
present -
the wheel
of fortune.

"Destiny,
fortune,
success,
felicity."

We are
parted
only
by
miles
coated
with
sea.
In every
other
way we
belong
to each
other.

The
future -
nine of
pentacles.

"Success,
safety,
accomplishment,
discernment."

I­n small
weeks
you
will be
here

& the
Italian
woman
on the
card

with her
hooded
hawk,

vineyard
pregnant
with
topaz,

& gown
of roses

will
close this
prophecy
with
a smile
& a sigh.
Apr 2019 · 207
Like Swans
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
O Irish
girl, here
is a dream
of old
Furies
adrift in
the young
night,

arrogant
and
swift
as the
swans
that swim
the canal
out your
window.
Apr 2019 · 147
Wine
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
We were
ending
and you
were
afraid
of it
so you
preserved
me like
wine.

Macerated
my heart -
soaked it
in your
words
until
it was
soft,
the pulp
you
wanted
leeching
from
the rest
until it
floated
to the
top
to be
skimmed
lighter than
a throb.

I imagine
the heart,
emptied,
was
supposed
to leave
of its
own accord,
a slump
of husk.

It didn't,
so you
boiled
it away.
It left
on New
Year's eve
down
Chesapeake Street,
a self-loathing
gap in
the air.

Drink, then,
and taste
everything
that made
me what
I was.
Apr 2019 · 90
The Driver
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The Lyft
driver
looked
almost
exactly like
Post Malone.

He talked
for a
while
until he
realized
I was
choking
up,
spending
my last
efforts
keeping it
together.

When he
pulled over
I lost it.

"Hey man
it's cool, are you
OK?

I've been
there
it's going to be
alright.

Girl?
Yeah.

Hey man,
cry it out,
gotta get it out.

I'll get you home."
Apr 2019 · 496
12 Years
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
At twenty five
I threw myself
through bonfires,
looking for a
life beyond the
wood smoke angel.

I would drink
a tenth bottle,
& curse the heart
repeating like a
stuck needle
in the black
groove of years.

Past the burning
rye at the edge
of the wood
cars never stopped
moving, white
pulses dropping
into the well of
the far distance,
folding into the
yellow chambers.

I cancelled myself
quietly on the dark
porch corner
in the watery night.

Then a dozen
years were thrown
across my life.

It's not possible
to explain everything.
But know that I
played roulette
with the sun.

I broke the moon
with song
& repaired it
with verse.

I filled my palms
with grass
& drank the
greenness.

I hurt, terribly,
a breaking sleep.
I lived underneath
a residual shine.

And then you,
my ace of cups.

I lay in the
secret rectangle
while you told
me of the snow
brothel.

I watched metal
birds slouch
the sky.

I walked
the theater
of the lawn
and found
you laughing.

Darling,
those years delivered
me to you like a
letter.

If you
unseal me,
everything you
find inside
is yours.
Apr 2019 · 135
Draw For Me
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
I have
this
daydream
where
you are
drawing,
writing,
and I'm
composing
another
nocturne,
and the
nail of
sun
falls
& falls.

O,
your
talents...!
I sing
of them,
in this
lyric
and its
brothers
& sisters.

They are
gifts
that
wing
through
the alchemy
of your
blood.

I feel it,
too,
when the
music
must be
thrown
from my
fingers
or die
of rust.

I feel it
when
poems
climb
from the
garden
behind
my eyes.

I feel it
in you.
Darling,
draw for me,
draw for me.
Apr 2019 · 232
Spring Haiku, Acrostic
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Easing into leaf:
Chrysanthemums opening,
Each one just for you.
Apr 2019 · 271
The Wind
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The wind
finds a tongue
in the hazel
below the
flaking air.

At seventeen
I was in
a Pontiac
at two in
the morning
& I saw it
moving
in a coat
of leaves,
awake
& sentinel.

It uses
elms
to sigh
east
& chimes
pinned to
the brick
by an old
plum nail
drip sprinkles
of its music
into the
amber eve.

With
mouthless
whisper,
it tells me
that spring
is here and
the long
acres
between us
are just
the wild
playing fields
of fireflies.
Apr 2019 · 466
Ode to an Eye
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
"The eye
functions
as the
brain's
sentry,"

but my
off-duty
eye is
welling
with
hyssop.

Dark
Sicilian
coffee
pigment
circles
my iris
for you,
around
& around.

My eye
sees your
words,
floating
like crosses
of hyacinth,
a campaign
of brightness.

And
your eye,
sweet
spark,
it twinkles
with fields
sown
with
music.
Hazel
star,
wait for
a head
of sun
& *****
into green -
your eyes
of spring.

Soon,
my eyes
will see
you walking
from the
gate,
and they
will riot
with shining
orchestras
of brown,
& whites
pure as
yachts.

The looks
they send
you build
cities in
the air.
Apr 2019 · 162
Adolescence (Original)
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Rolling mint
hillock
of Ashland,
estate of my
grandparents,
where I curled
dreams
into the blue
room's sheets.
Honeysuckle's
ladder up
the brickwork
reached like
spring fingers
towards
my window.

From brown
shadows I saw
foxes steal
over the
crumbling
drive. Clouds
crashed
into trees,
deer ate
lawn in
the evening,
uncle's autos
coruscating
in the tall
grass wilds.

In that bed
I came of
age with
thoughts
of women
naked -
Torches
of thought
ached and
led the way
deeper
& deeper
as they dripped
scalding tar
all across
my adolescence.

Years went by
inside me.
Stones fell
from the sky,
hard as ***.
Fox bones
slept
in the wood.
The television
sat like
an idol
on the lace,
a pressure
that touched
every wall.

The sun
a chorus.
The moon
a thigh.
Something wet
rustled in the
eye that
burrowed
beneath
the pillow.
Apr 2019 · 161
On Forgetting
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
You needed
to forget.

In Italy,
you found
a little,
in the
milk
steam
& the hues
of the old
masters.

September
rescued
you from
some of
the blue
slants of
your life.

In the
city of
whimsical
rain, you
considered
Russian
spines,
implored the
shining face
of wine,
searched
in the teeth
of canvas
for that
oblivion.

Love,
I know
the hunt.

I read
Anna
Karenina
by a cast
of moon
on a black
beach,
seeking it.

I drank gin
at sunrise.
I stared long
into the
wavering
systems
of Rothko
and Gorky.

But my
thoughts
erupted
into terrible
poems that
grew from
my hands.

Then,
serendipity:
our friend
pushed us
together
screen to
screen.

A transcript
reveals
the slow
grace
between us,
how the
distance
lilted and
tightened.

Now,
beneath the
gossamer
columns
of the sun,
in the
impossible
mouth
of the air,
I'm thinking
of you
& I no longer
want
to forget.
Apr 2019 · 113
Spring Moment
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Dublin
girl,
laugh
with me
into the
exploding
green
of trees
coming
into leaf
in this
fast angle
of city,
while
I ****
an hour
on this
bench full
of speech,
watching
night low
into lilac.
Apr 2019 · 320
Ode to the Air
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
My voice
enters
the air
as I speak
to her,
delves
there
in purrs
of wind.

If I am
silent,
and she
is sleeping,
the air
stutters
a little
as it speaks
its own name.

In the
language
that sails
the lung,
it whispers
about her.

In the
night,
the air
grasps
at cigarette
smoke
with
fingers
small
as a
hush.

It lurches
toward
the branch
of moon.
My father's
grave
is hidden
in the air.

The air,
the air
hangs
between us,
lithe and
endless,
almost
invisible.

When she
pauses for
breath,
the air
offers itself
in sweet
bursts.

In mist
and fog,
it learns
to kiss.

When she
speaks,
the air
is filigree,
like the
small laces
of a tree
in bloom.
Apr 2019 · 238
Present Tense
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
Your words
open
in the quick
hours,

& the long
distance
feels like
a sway.

Here, evening
is installed
with blue
pieces:

blue tree,
blue cloud,
blue angle
of sky,

flat as a card.
The moon
is just some
flour,

flicked
into place.
The miles
step away

& I taste
your sweet
honesty
& want more.
Apr 2019 · 361
Wing
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
I am
a green
wing of
jealousy
cutting
Washington Circle
into arc
after arc.

The matchmaker
is sizing you
for a life,
and I am,
it seems,
not real.

Well,
this unreal
voice
is speaking,
launching
words towards
the burning tile
of sun,
hoping
they will fall
into your
cascades
of thought.
Apr 2019 · 74
Ocean
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
The ocean
divides
& divides
between us,
the water
never
content with
the shape
of itself.

Thoughts
divide
& divide
within me,
patterns
of distance
with you
at the center.
Apr 2019 · 645
Cherry Blossoms
Evan Stephens Apr 2019
I drank deep
of the
pink heads.

I let the
whiteness
of the petal
shake my
face from
the day.

The wind
came cold
from the
basin,
sweeping
my hair
into
dusk
shapes.

The jealous
magnolia
branch,
heavy with
wax,
was drunk
with ascendance.

In all of this
I felt the
wildness
crawling
in me.

It longed
for you.
When I drank
deep of
the pink
heads -
I thought
only of
your name.
Mar 2019 · 137
Kalorama
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
We talk
late into
the street,
the trees
seem to
come loose
and drift
out into
the night sky.

In the farthest
distance,
galaxies
break apart
into strings
of stars.

You're in
Dublin,
lovely
in your step,
in your voice,
in the stocking
you rip
so idly.

I watch
people
stroll across
the broad
walk of
apricot
stones.

I watch
the dark
green sky
drop centuries
down the
Spanish steps.

I listen
as you
enchant
my phone
with sighs.

The world
is so small,
crossing
the bedposts
of the sun.

The world
is so large,
on the beach
of your
laughter.
Mar 2019 · 381
Heart
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
Watch the pulse
in my skin,
"my heart
moves
for you."

Or does it?
You say no,
"I'm not
the one."

I guess
the heart
has its own
business
to run,

& who am
I to speak
for it?
Mar 2019 · 764
Courting Words
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
I read that
courting words
are sweet
as honey.

No,
courting words
are breaths
held long -
courting words
are labyrinths
of nettles.
Mar 2019 · 122
I Was Fifteen
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
I was fifteen
in a birthday
room for Alan.
Lamps out,
air thick
with the flick
& sag of
a movie.
My slick hand
taken by the girl
on the floor.
White noise burst
in my mouth.
My heart
crawled
down the stairs.
The lamps
puffed on
and she slipped
my hand.
Each cone and
rod in her
green eyes
glistened,
adolescent.

I saw her again
at a house party
when I was
twenty-three.
Drunk on
Haitian ***,
carving out
a blood rhythm
under
a canopy
of memory.
Her lips shined
in memorial
to what teenagers
had been, once.

Later, I threw up
the *** into
the bushes
below the kitchen
window and I heard
her turn
off the faucet with
an indifferent laugh.
Mar 2019 · 167
Night Wedding
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
Night wedding
on the
mountainside,
flights of tuxedos
in the grass shadow.

I'm watching
from the moss mane
that coils
the monadnock.
Slopes of music
spill against
the tarnishing
puck of moon.

But weddings cease
to move in me,
even now,
seven months
before the divorce.

Gaze out
instead on
the rockfall
where we
backpacked in
cottonmouth July.

Is there an
emptiness
in me?

I sit apart,
dress shoes
shine in
the moon switch,
mountain
a long strum,
the forest
is phthalo.

I melt
down my past
and recast it
into something
better.
Because maybe
the moon
is just
a cinder
crumble.

Maybe the
low-footed mountain
just some angles
in brown.

Maybe all
the deep green
woods are
just trees,
some trees.
Mar 2019 · 137
Sketch: Voices
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
How surreal -
the wind
rustled itself
into my hand
as I spoke
to the girl
across the sea.

She could
hear it
as it purred
in the cup
of my palm.
It followed
me for blocks,
voweled
& agitated.

But nothing
could tear
my ear
from the girl
and her laugh.
Mar 2019 · 81
Dipso
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
April is poured
from oak barrels
until I'm dipso.
The last winter
stars pacific,
crawling,
humid jewelry -
scrape velvet
over this cheap bed.

Happy dream
of the late
night metro,
each sleeping face
silver and serene.
The air
conditioning leans
across the aisle
as if to whisper
something.

Endorphins rush
these frays
of nerve
like an infantry.
Sleep must come
on wings
of whiskey
that ****** forward,
swimming
in the dark.
Mar 2019 · 118
Sketch for E--
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
Spring is gin
weeping
in the hand,
Malbec against
the wrist,
the deep-drafted
light cresting
all their laughter.

It's hard to bear
when I'm over
here, in the other
hand of the night,
running beneath
the moon as it
wanes down
into the river,
as if trying
to push me
your way.
Mar 2019 · 399
"Bookish"
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
Sleep circles
with wide wings.
Pages vanish down the eye's well:

Napoleon burns Moscow,
French detectives fry onions,
Lorca dies in the greenest green.

Rain spits into the room
crooked, dark. I'm alone.
The gyre closes, soft as a net.

Dreams hunch on the furniture.
The mirrors broadcast
the Venetian blinds croaking

and rattling against the screen
like creamy swords
in enamel scabbards.

Book-addled eyelids
are rusting into blinks
of burling dusk.

Each dying thought
is a sleek Deco Bugatti
lead by a shining path

from teardrop headlamps
whose fingers pry the night
moments before tires

sing rubber to blue.
The rain gathers into serpents
in the channels of the floor.

Above you hangs
the fat black branch
of sleep's truest face.
Mar 2019 · 290
Translation
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
I'll translate
for you:

"Spring drifts
into me again
tonight, the lush
blossoms skate
up my spine by
the dance hall,
I'm on my
second beer
& I'm all nerves."

means

I am a wreck,
again. Half of me
stumbled
& fell for her
weeks ago,
& half of me
is a ticker tape
repeating
what she told me:
This is right now
This is only now
This is nothing else
This can never be
anything else.

Out at the bar
I meet Sarah
the bartender -
born the day
before me,
small tattoos
across her arms
& going
to Paris soon -
when those
two halves
collide,
thoughts get
messy,
& I am
churning
to pieces
here in the
warm air.

I am available
to anyone
who claims me.
Until then,
I am something else -
something less
than enough
& this eats at me
like an acid.

and

"Even the air
is asleep.
It's one a.m.,
I threaten
the quiet walls
with little music
that I send
towards Ireland.
My heart
is too shy
for night
games."

means

I get home late.
My thoughts
divide
immediately -
between
the faraway girl
across the sea
who speaks
like a shy dream -
and something
else, something
desperate.
I am too
sensitive
for the rough
*******
madness
of love,
but I can't
stand
solitude,
either.
The faraway girl
is right
about me.

Now,
maybe you
understand.
Mar 2019 · 86
Paper Gown
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
The suicidal hospital
floats away
into the past -
paper gowns
& abject beeps
& red-eyed
streetlamps
all turn into
valentines,
sugar silhouettes.

Being kicked
in my unfaithful face
while donating
my guts to the john
after too much
goodbye tequila?
Gone like a skip -
take a pattern
from my
better thoughts
& drag the
needle across
until I only
remember the yard
where I ate grass
& the air
was cruising
with the perfume
of hyacinths.

The woman who
left her ball gown
on the hook
behind my door
for months
after we fell apart?
No, keep her,
let her stay.
I need the bitter
to remind me
what the sweet is.
Mar 2019 · 96
Chernobyl
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
So this is fallout -
The trees are choking
with ghosts that hang
like windchimes
from each atomic bough.
This is the aftermath.
The steam has long
since escaped, the cores
are ruined settlements
that glow furious gloam.
We carry them
with us, hearts knock
beat to beat, churning
something heavy
that already hardens.
Angels decay.
Summer is columns
& columns of them
carelessly spilling
into the empty
cooling pond.
What happened
to us? Years went
wrestling by
into the abyss. Clawing
to the surface,
this is what is left.
The trees are coughing
with ghosts.
I take you
and place you
gently among them.
Original poem from 2013
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