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466 · Mar 2018
idgaf
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
I DON'T GIVE A ****!"
WHY?
"You asking me why?"
"When was the last time we spoke ?:
"When was the last time you saw her?"
Who?
"Don't play stupid with me
I'm not tryna hear all that
I'm out
You are such ******* *******"

Your eccentric personality
The illusions
The constant confusions
The subtweets
The words
The allure
The pseudo care
The Korean noodles
The massages
The animal ***
The guilt
The phone calls
The texts
The drama
Repeat

We lie to lay with each other
To find out about each other
Till clever words
Make us distant
Eluding your illusions
A handful
Even for my two hands
Checking on me like a baseman in the ninth inning  
Patrolling my twitter is what keeps you winning

DMs got me sinning
DMs got me sinning
DMs got me sinning?

DMs got me feeling tremendous
Newness and
New man
New thing.

out in the west end
323 · Mar 2018
Falls Ell(e)
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
We all have
We all have
We all have fallen for falls gestures
When night falls brings us under
To witness trees change its colours

We all have fallen for fall's milieu
When breezes blow evening winds to calm lovers' hearts
Out of fear and despair
Loose pages and failure to adhere
Sunken promises
Sunken promises
And dreams you left there

To proclaim that we...
Set clocks back
To prepare that we.....
Adhere to past morales
Of hurt and persuade you to open up
And show the woman you once were
The one full of life
Just to find the last morning glory close its petals once more
For soon will be winter
And the winds not tame but whimper
And pray for a longer October and an even longer November after the sun beats down....

There
Soon will be u and i
As for now i and u
U and i are left in on a broken bridge
where vowels can co-exist
no more.

Till fall falls in our hearts
Where wool sweaters warm us over the dreadful winter of the Kawarthas
Where the bare lands will dictate the space we're  yet to grow into...

I wish u no more.
268 · Apr 2018
Sunshine
Jr Estinova Apr 2018
Sunshine
Oh sunshine!
How I adore thee
The smiles on people's faces
When you're around
The clear images you paint
The vivid pictures you show
Especially by this beach
Where the ocean is bluer than the sky
The breeze
The trees...happily moving around as if they have places to go
Like they would dare leave your presence
An important part to their essence
The sand...
This sand is so white, so clean...
Does the ocean washes it...
after it washes it?
The sand I brought is cleaner though, just so we're clear
I'm sorry if I can't hide my happiness
Forgive me...oh Sunshine!
For I have traveled distances just to be in your presence
For I was judged by so many because I wanted to be in your presence but...
I just could not wait for you to come to me
Hence me pursuing you
But truth is,
my time with you here is limited,
very limited
So lets make the best of it
How about I stay up to watch you set?
And I promise to be up before you rise
So by the time you're ready,
I will be too.
232 · Mar 2018
2 vowels in the word
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
I was taught the word by a woman
Who expressed the word
Endorsed the word
Shared the word
To Give breathe to the word
To Give depth to the word
Weaved with the word
To give and create life with the word
create art with the word
Make babies out of the word
Console with the word
Nurture with the word
Tears of joys with the word
Life lessons were gained with the word
Laughter and friendship came out of the word
Dreams have come true because of the word
Broken hearts with the word
Searching for the one to share life with the word
Tears of sorrow with the word
Ruined makeup and separation out of emptiness out of the word
Broken dreams and long distance out of lack of the word
Lives have been altered because of the word
Lives have been made and lost all in the name of the word
Yet, we fail to see the soul out of the word
The intensity of the word
The power of the word
The power in the word

L
O
V
E

The impetus of the word

The word is misused and misunderstood
Used by crooks
Abused and shook out of its value
The content and context has been ransacked
Those who speak don't speak it in high praise
Those who speak don't speak it in higher praise
But we await it like the return of the fallen
May we all rise in depth of the word
With love on the mental
These kind words from the Aziatic man
Deep love as the anchor.

Medaase medɔfo, Nyame nhyira wo
(Thanks my love, God bless you!)
225 · Feb 2018
July 7
Jr Estinova Feb 2018
Distance became longer
silence got louder
The road diverts
Which one to take?
Take one to which
i've always been on
Seem confusing now
What used to be a linear path
now has so many turns
so many curves
touch turns, rough ends
I travel alone, scary sights
Go further? I want to turn around
Turn around? I done came too far
So i kept going for your sake
why was i forsaken?
Why was i abandoned?
Baby, I did not keep going to become a lost soul
only to be left in the abyss
Drag me not into this black hole
I just may not find my way out of this
225 · Apr 2018
Astray
Jr Estinova Apr 2018
Lately I've been alone a lot
thinking in situations like these become inevitable
But thoughts elude me
Something in me is lacking
some of me is missing
The silence is killing me
In my head i hear voices
The storm came
never went away
It stayed longer
Washed away memories
But left the pain
Then came the tornado
I stood in its path
didnt ******* away
I'm left alone,
alone with my thoughts
Thoughts i don't have
I've come too far to be led astray
I've come too far to walk away
I've come too far,
dare i walk away?
Us...
now has become a singular word
Singular term
Divided
Apart
Spaced
Strange
Timid
Restless
Clouded
Reformed
Ambiguous
The parts are apart
On different parts
different roads
different lives
Pursuing different things
Sparse in our old ways
Betrayed and crucified
Jesus Christ
Nobody deserves misery
Is this pen still on?
It didn't run out of ink
It just wouldn't write nomore
*puts pen down, walks away
223 · Mar 2018
house game
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
Lines (thread counts and whether I should be here )
I spilled red Rosè on your duvet
Jus to watch you undress
Why can't I jus marvel at this art I jus made
Marvel at your grace to stop the bleeding
Tryna figure out where we went wrong
This house game isn't us
I failed to play my role
The objective is far fetched
Left unturned
Left on turn
(Sauga)Is my home
But home isn't  yours
Hiding Your face under these covers
Jus to be uncovered
Hair in a bun (but )
all we do is
Argue
****
Then argue .
(Don't hate me after you read this )
Hate the ideas
Embedded Inside the glass house you live in
Don't tell him I wrote this but show him that I wrote this
Love is fleeing.
219 · Feb 2018
Then again
Jr Estinova Feb 2018
If I could paint you...
If I could paint you,
The strokes would be slow, deliberate, and tempting.
The image would have to be vivid, your beautiful soul must be seen.
I would pour my laughter in you and shed light on your secret deeds,
I would let the sun stay still for it has to shine your love to the world.
I would paint the miserable fights we swore not to have,
And **** all the promises we failed to keep.
I would paint the arguments and misunderstandings too so you could see the clear picture of our portrait.
Then again, I would put happiness all around you...
Put a flower in your hair, draw a permanent smile on your face
So I would never have to see you sad, upset or even frown again
I wonder if the painting could really reveal the complexity of your kindness.
If it could reveal you as the soul wiithin a goddess,
A very precious earth's emerald.
Perhaps then the world would weep just to be in our presence.
Just the sight of the image of our image,
Would strike the universe to bow,
But with this paper as my pad and these words as my brush,
I have nothing in mind,
But the desire to lock you in time.
216 · Apr 2018
Be my...
Jr Estinova Apr 2018
I'm looking for words to write
A life to live
Art to unravel
Beauty to praise
Soul to cherish
Body to adore
Would you be my inspiration?

Take me to higher grounds
Be the life i live
The air i breath
Put a meaning to my existence
Be my inspiration...

Be the reason i wake up
Let me cling on to you
Let me cling on to
Let me cling on
Let me be a part of you
Carry me in your spirit
Find a place in you....
for my soul to dwell with yours
I'd love for you to be my inspiration

Inspire me to aspire for greatness
Bring out the very best in me
Be my life...
give it a better meaning
Be my world...
make it a safer place for me to live
Can you be my inspiration?

When i look at you,
You're the words i need to write
The life i want to live
The art to unravel
The beauty to be praised
The soul to be cherished
The body to be adored
You're my inspiration.
207 · Mar 2018
Reward
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
I lie in my bed  
and see four walls and a ceiling
They stand there around me
Silent and unfeeling
Sometimes I wonder  
If they could speak
Whether they'd tell me  
Why they are strong and i'm weak?
They're lucky, those walls
Having no pain to bear
Not living in sadness
With no one to care  
But sometimes the sun rushes in from one lonely window,
and the breeze cools my cheek
Suddenly i know  
that the walls aren't so lucky.  
They may never hunger or strife,  
but no matter how fortunate,
they aren't blessed with life.
No, they can't see and feel,
they can't love and sing
They can't have memories  
of a bird on the wing.  
Yes, now I am the lucky one  
The one loved by my Lord
For after this suffering
I will get my reward

— The End —