Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog
Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?
Depressed to a fault, that’s all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that's its nature, a full mind jam
I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today
Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn't real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen
No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
It's not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be
So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.

She looks around.  
At the creatures that surround her.
The hideous monsters..  
With their snarky smiles.
And deadly stares..  Monstrous words..  
But she herself was a monster of her own kind, wasn't she?
What kind of creature.  
Takes pleasure.
In inflicting pain.  
On one's self?  
A MONSTER.  
She is the worst.
The others are fluffy bunnies compared.
To what she was.  What she is.
Only a MONSTER. Would want more pain.
Seized by the creature within, will
She give in?
Impressive, how long she has held on,
and resisted
The delicious calls,
Of the creature caged within.

Eyes burning, tears at the brim, ready to fall,

Throat is raw, sobs threatening to escape.

Heart, beginning to sink.

The new information that has been

Brought to light.

Thought that it would never happen with this one.

Thought the feelings were real both ways.

Trusted with every ounce available to give.

Back stabbed.

Blindsided.

Lied to.

Manipulated.

So many feelings.

Overwhelmed by them all.

But can't get rid of the love.

The love will always be there.

No matter how much pain must be endured.

Ripped apart.

The heart.

Severely damaged.

The emotions.

Unable to comprehend the intensity of the pain.

The mental stability.

Lost for ever.

The soul.

He was the tragedy.

But where, and who, is the clarity?

It’s times like these when you should be next to me.  Times like these when you should have been here.
You used to be so close, now, many miles away.  Leaving me with what was once passion, and is now nothing but aches and pains.
Only your touch, could ever truly take this pain away, even if as soon as you left, the pain returned.
Not a day passes that I don’t think of you, or miss you.  You held me together during some of my worst times, and you didn’t run from what you saw.
You simply held me closer.
Everything I do, reminds me of you.  Oh how I long to be held in you familiar, comforting, safe arms.
I need you so I am not falling apart.  But you had to leave, leave me behind.
And now it’s so dark.  The darkness is swallowing me, and has been for a while.