I got my first medicine and read the bottle
are you ready to feel again?
the warmth radiating from your belly
or the tremors in your toes
are you ready to enter a world that you were exiled from
able to understand what they spoke of months ago that you couldn't quite wrap your feelings around
prepared to open your eyes to a painting
able to feel the sounds of their laughter
smell the embrace of their hugs
hear the smell of fresh rain
are you ready to be
be
happy

I've always been scared of water
ever since I heard of a face unknown sinking to the depths of a pool
making a spectacle of my families innocence into a curse I now bare
she is a lost sea diver
just more sunken treasure
I already have seas of emotions filling me slowly
my lungs feel like life rafts with holes
I'm not in the shallow end anymore
I've witnessed drowning on thoughts
I witnessed the closest thing to me drown on himself
his being swallowed whole by a whirlpool of unknown
I am afraid to drown
we call the ocean a beautiful sight but we stay quiet about the belly that's engulfed many
the sea is a mistress
seductively drawing us inflicting no good
I will not learn to swim
I will stay on shore and never travel the unknown

She told me I'm the moon and I shine during the night to bring brilliance to all that lurks in the shadows
Yet she never introduced herself as the sun and never mentioned my shine was dependent on her
She deserted me and my radiance dimmed and gradually my beauty withered like flowers approaching winters grasp
From insides hollowed out, creaking at the seams pouring my emotions to this paper ground as a piñata loses its sweet delicacies
my beautiful exterior lay shattered and abandoned no more than a gift box rushed opened by a eager boy on Christmas morning
her body was an ocean and greedily she took me made me a shell on her beach so now if you listen close to me you'll hear her resonating within

as we grow old
our bodies will ache
sunlight will scar our skin
out rusted bones will yearn to be oiled
cracked hearts preparing for another coat of pavement
ready for the next car to come along
or derailed train
whichever decides it wants to travel there most
our minds will mature and we will search for another place to fit in
to feel like our words have meaning
like our feelings could make another feel
our passions will be torches we want to pass along
allowing the next person run with the things we care about most
entrusting them to not let all of your essence extinguish