Throat begins to close
No more words today
I struggle with the 5th
So I type instead
Expressionless lines flow through my fingers
Holding onto a thought
A moment frozen
In time and space
No going forward
No going back
Clickity clacking on a suspension bridge
Refusing to look down
As the bottom
That is closer than it seems
Rises up to meet
The tidal wave of thoughts
Blocked at level 5

As a newborn just arrived I held all possibility in my small hands
So much riding on this empty vessel
Such a small thing looking into the marvellous abyss with wonder
Evening summer skies of purple and pink
The light of the full moon dancing on the ocean
The icy taste of a snowflake melted to crisp water on the tongue
A time of senses bursting with simple pleasures
A time of talking to the angels and the stars
A time of trusting the answers I felt in my core
Little by little
Bit by bit
Fear crept in
Fear introduced doubt
And doubt welcomed manipulation
Together we found the never ending road of
Forgotten
My innocence was the first to abandon me
Though I wore my good shoes well
Always walking away from those that looked too closely
Stayed too long
Then it all started to fall like dominoes
The morning breath of each feigned love  
Arrived on the wings of a kiss goodbye
Another memory stored in my rucksack
And the list of ghostly companions exponentially blossomed
Supporting my weighted spirit
Through the good the bad and the ugly
Until the ugly became unbearable
The bad dug in it’s heels
And the good
Forgotten
Self punishment became the norm
The norm became numbness
The numbness creeping in with each in breath
Saturated with denial
Enveloped in rage
Loathing mistaken for love
Love sharp and deep
Piercing...
Delving...
Revealing the remnants of a conversation that began at birth
That was misplaced along the way
Found again
Exposed to the sun
A beam pushing through each incision in my heart
Illuminating my shadowy companions
Releasing them from the gravity of despair
Returning from whence they came
Leaving me empty
A vessel to again receive the angels and the stars
All the divinity of the universe flowing into and out of my being
In the land called Remember

The darkness of the winter mourn
Lifts quietly from the frozen ground
It sends a shiver down my spine
To where silence dwells, a preternatural sound

Rising mist and echoed calls
Birds follow bliss in hallowed halls
This winged dance leaves me enthralled
Reminiscent of my spirit unconfined by walls

Find a place where time stands still
Where the struts and beams have settled with chill
Cryogenically rooted, no means to fulfil
The intimate quest for the holy grail

These damp recesses must be explored
Not for gain or for just reward
So light the torch that was ignored
Now genuine order can be restored

The darkness of the winter mourn
Lifts quietly from the frozen ground
It sends a shiver down my spine
To where silence dwells, a preternatural sound

Something stirs in the depths of my being
It wakes the dreamer from its dreaming
The story starts to fade away
A different time
A different place
I’m back where I forget to be
When the solace of slumber is surrounding me
Strange sounds and silent shadows dance
The darkness ominous at first glance
My eyes adjust
My heartbeat slows
Grasping at the remnants of a lovers throes
Of passion which in reality
Has not yet found its way to me.
And so night after night
You enter me
My world steeped in fantasy
Time held in suspended grace
Landscapes dwell on the tip of my tongue
Memories weave midst sights unseen
My tree of life on which hopes are strung
Leading me down the garden path
To where my deepest secrets I keep
Until the sun shines its smile on a brand new day
And I once again long for sleep.

Can you fit inside my pocket
I want to keep you close
Holding memories for profit
Precious moments are exposed
Virtuality incarnate
Shaping minds predisposed
To existing as the target
With their history disclosed

The prophets are now profiting
And idols make us idle
Is anybody questioning
What it will take for our survival

The best and all the worst of us
Is now stored and used with purpose
We are the main commodity
The centre ring of a tech circus
We
       Look
                   Down
                                Daily
No one is not affected
From the very old to very young
The blue light has connected
It ***** us in and ***** us dry
Our animation now suspended
Bodies growing sedentary
Brains have been apprehended

The prophets are now profiting
And idols make us idle
Is anybody questioning
What it will take for our survival

Can you fit inside my pocket
I want to keep you close
Never take you for granted
You’re the one that matters most

Here I stand before myself
Wearing the mask of a stranger
It’s not what was imagined when the mould was formed
It has warped through evading danger
I have walked as far as I can go
As others perceive me to be
Now I must stop where I stand
Feel the ground beneath my feet
Unearth new weeds that have sprouted
Realise their roots run deep
Break the stagnant bonds of duplicity
Release the rage that’s kept me asleep
I have hidden amongst these tangled weeds
They have held my mind in distraction
When I pull one out of the fallow ground
There’s a hydra-like growth infestation
Must
       dig
          down
                 To the source
The inception of the divergence
**** the doppelgänger
Who seized control
At the point of ancestral transference
Sorrow for the yesterday’s I have forsook
Self rejection whisks anger to the fore
What has been dredged up can’t be unseen
Can original design be restored?
Created in beauty with purpose divine
Is what it said on the package
Is it possible to aspire to that caliber of being
With so much premeditated damage
Align with what was preconceived
before entering this dimension
Right the wrongs
Get back on course
**** the poison from the infection
Beauty that’s been marred is beautiful still
With its lines and gouges and scars
It’s the map of the journey created in life
A treasure trove collage of memoirs
Acknowledge and remove with divine grace
The resentment that is buried within
Shatter the mask
With humble honesty
Peel back the layers
to reveal
My original skin