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Anthony Jul 2018
Another day down,
One step further down.
The descent into Hell,
Where’s the bottom? I can’t tell.
My mind is AWOL, gone on vacay.
I pray for the end when I bother to pray.
And I don’t do that much,
Cuz God hates my guts.
So I grab my hair and just tear it out,
Go to the mirror and just stare it out.
Break the glass and cut my brain out,
Set it on the sink and watch my thoughts drain out.
Call it a brainstorming session.
Cut off my head to treat the depression.
Try my best to deal with the insanity,
It’s either that or hang myself from the ******* vanity.
And we don’t want that now do we kids?
Can’t explain that one to sis and the kids.
So I just hold on for one more day,
See if I can make it for one more May.
Keep hold on sanity by frayed little threads,
While the craziness slowly creeps into my heads.
“It’s head genius, are you ******* *******?”
“That’s what I said, now don’t get me started.”
“No you didn’t, you said heads cuz you don’t have a brain.
You blew that **** out to help deal with the pain.”
“Look, I’m not stupid, I know what I said.”
“Are you sure? Cuz I know what I read.”
“Of course I’m sure, I’m the one who said it.
I said it, wrote it, then went back and read it.”
...
“Oh ****, I DID say heads.
Guess I’m too gone off these ****** up meds.”
“See, I told you! Turns out I was right.”
“Yeah whatever, now leave me alone so I can write.”
“Wait a second, who are you? You can’t be real, right?!
How can you hear me, and see what I write?!”
“You know me Ant, try to run but you can’t.
I’m your crazy, your ******, your right hand man.
I’m the darkness that stalks you, the shadow that mocks you.
I’m anxiety, insecurity, depression.
I thought by now you’d have learned this lesson.
I’m a demon, always lurking behind,
Watching and laughing as you lose your mind.
You can never get rid of me,
Open your eyes and you’ll see.
You asked who I am, but I think you know.
It’s not very hard to figure out bro.
I’m your worst enemy, and your best friend too.
You know me well, cuz I’m Y-O-U. “

— The End —