Im tired,
of waiting for the things I want most
to come to me–
when I failed to voice that
I had even wanted them at all.

How many times
must I let something
slip through my fingers,
just past my grasp,
before I learn to take it for myself?

Can I be so selfish?
When I have only ever given–
may I take this one thing?
Just this once?

If I may be so blunt,
Being in one's company
is to be an inconvenience–
And I beg of you to indulge me so.

In softer words:

Humans were made to love–
To hug tightly,
To hold hands,
To laugh too loud,
To stumble over ourselves,
And to cry heavily.

How could you possibly do any of that alone?

Let me hold you as we were intended.
Ask of me all that you desire,
and watch as I never loosen my grip.

I hope you know
that all the little joys–
the love,
the beauty,
the quiet warmth–
are playing out all around you.

They live and breathe in you,
in your very soul.
They're in me, too–
Like a cacophony of sound,
woven gently into music

Tell me:
can you hear the melody
through my stare?
Can you feel its heart beating?

I do.

May we find ourselves here one day,
On the precipice of the now and uncertainty.

If I could only stop the clock–
In this moment we share together–
I would in a heartbeat.

To hear our laughter ring out,
And kiss you ever softly,

Until time forgets as we do,
For eternity.

I know so very little about so many things,
Most of it all a mystery to me.
The world is quite a wonder with its vastness
–
I doubt I could even brush the surface of it all.

But I know one thing,
So very well, so intimately:
Like the scratches on the back of your hand,
And the kisses left upon your shoulders.

The sun is so warm.
There is love in the wind,
And kindness in the rain.
How beautiful and comforting it all is.

We may not have much time on this earth,
But I know, too,
That a small sun burns hot within me when we are near.

I like the idea that reincarnation exists
Because that means I chose to come back
Hundreds and hundreds of times
To live and breathe
To swim in lakes and stare at mountains
And love the people I meet and laugh so loud
And hold your hand and wish on shooting stars
To cry salty tears and collect silly little trinkets
To eat sweet foods and miss my friends when I'm lonely
And buy groceries and do my laundry a hundred more times
That I chose to do it all one more time
Because it's such a beautiful thing

Even the pain tastes like memory

After everything, I think—
maybe I’m going to be okay.
And I’ll choose to believe it,
even on the days it doesn’t feel true.

I will grasp it in my hands
And hold it so tightly,
That my knuckles turn white
And my nails dig in,
While I fold it into my heart—
so I don’t lose it along the way.

Because lilacs smell so wonderful,
Hopscotch is simply so joyful,
And persimmons taste sweeter than I expected.
Because the grass feels soft against my back,
The sun feels so warm on my skin,
And a gentle breeze runs through my jacket so pleasantly.

Because the tree's flowers look elegant no matter the time of day,
Dandelions are so unapologetically yellow,
Holding someone’s hand is just utterly delightful,
And soft kisses feel like music.
Even gentle smiles make my own grow wider.

And you,
You are so unbelievably kind and loving.
You exist
And I exist,
And isn't that just so absolutely amazing?