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Xeki Jan 2023
I've always held a love for the rain in my heart
Cold gray skies and thick Coates
Windows of the world washed over with earth's most beautiful of diamonds
So important to all yet so simple it goes overlooked
Ungrateful eyes never see the bigger picture
Or the beauty laced through the smallest of cracks
I never understood the need for umbrellas when the rain was more beautiful than any crystal or mortal possessions
When it starts to rain, I can see her
She is loving, the most caring of mothers
She tucks us in with a thick airid blanket of clouds and fog
Chilly to the touch but warm and comforting in the soul
And as the droplets fall fast against our surfaces
She kisses us with all her heart
Smiling as the cool water pools in the crevices of the world and my hands
Overflowing onto my shoes and face
Spreading her life and love through all she can reach
Watching her children flourish and play
Even when I am not outdoors and able to feel her embrace I know she waits for me on the other side of the glass
And while she waits patiently, she plays with me
Racing water drops against eachother and tracinging their paths down my windows
And making me all the puddles to jump and splash in I could ever ask for
Nourishing my favorite flowers and plants to show me she cares
She's always been the best playmate, and her toys never cease to give me joy and wonder
I've always loved the rain
And I know she loves me too
Rainy days have always been my favorite, and spring will always have warmth in my heart <3
Xeki Aug 2019
it can be so hard.
it can be so hard when it feels like everything is going wrong today.
it can be so hard when your world seems to just be falling apart.
it can be so hard, day by day, night by night.
it can be so hard trying to push through
that darkness that seems to always be there.
that seems to always be following you.
that seems to always hunt you down, like it knows where you are.
like it knows what you do.
like it knows just who you are, even if you dont.
deep breaths.
light.
theres light.
it chases that darkness away.
it chases that sadness away.
it chases away that desperation.
that fear.
that worry.
that loneliness.
it chases it away.
deep breaths.
it wraps around you.
enveloping you in its self.
it feels like its trapping you.
but your not hurt.
your not scared.
deep breaths.
you feel warmth.
you feel love.
you feel soft.
and calm.
and good.
you feel happy.
and that is good.
and that is ok to you.
you are calm.
and you are ok again.
deep breaths.
Life isnt perfect, and neither are you. There will be dark days, just like there will be bright ones. There will be days where you cant even leave your bed because it hurts that bad. But its ok. Its ok to not be ok, because your human. You cant always be ok, but you cant always be not ok too. Emotions can flow at random, and it can be confusing and scary, but its ok. You can pull yourself through anything. Your strong and capable, and no matter how dark it seems, you will be able to get up and push and pull and launch your way through that darkness and back into the light. And your not alone. Everyone feels like this sometimes, and there will always be someone there for you to lift you back onto your feet and help you along the way to the light. You just have to open your eyes, reach out, grab those hands, and pull yourself up with those who are waiting to help you. Drink some water, eat at least one meal, take your meds (responsibly), get some sleep, you are loved!!
Xeki Aug 2019
words are like water
constantly flowing and changing and trickling
like a stream, turning into a river of sounds
then lakes then oceans, getting louder and louder
more and more violent along the way
like water, words are depended on
to live, to survive, to exist in this cruel world we call life
just like water, words can suffocate, they can be drowned out
they can hurt and scar and scare and control the ones around us
but
just like water
we need it.
we need water and we need words
because
in order to survive we must do what it takes.
we must do what needs to be done to sustain ourselves
even if what we do hurts others or ourselves.
even if we cant take what we have done back.
we must survive.
just like water.
Xeki Mar 2018
There is a rhyme
About sticks and stones
Being thrown
Ending with broken bones
But what people dont realize
Is that words hurt too
They leave scratches and scars
Cuts and bruises black and blue
and though the may not be visible
They are real
And they never go away
They can never heal
So watch what you say
mind with great care
Because the ones you treat best
Will always be there
Xeki Jan 2018
I feel worthless
I feel left in the dark
I feel left alone
I have from the start

I want to feel wanted
I want to feel loved
I want to feel spoiled
Please send someone from above

Someone to love me
someone to care
Someone to hug me
Someone to always be there

But that wont happen
Because no one cares
No one to go near me
Because no one dares

So i will keep trying
To find some way to leave
Some way to run
To a place i wont grieve
Xeki Dec 2017
unseen
unnoticed
overlooked by the people surrounding you
that could care less about your existence
its as if you were invisibe
wearing a cloak of invisibility
passing by the blind
who refuse to see
who refuse to listen
living your life alone
as no one bothers to even try to care
and your numb
unable to feel emotion
as it has been so long
for anyone to show affection
so you feel nothing
and continue on your invisible path
trying hard to earn the attention of others
to win their approval
only to be dissapointed
and broken down again
reverting back to your invisible self
Xeki Dec 2017
its so
empty
bland
broken
the place I fear most
when I open my eyes
hoping not to see the same barren place
as I have seen it to often
what is this?
what is this place?
why must I return every time I open my eyes?
this broken place of those who cant escape
it is cold here
it is always cold
I wonder why it must be so
to open my eyes
not able to break free of this
cold
broken
desolate wasteland
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