Breathe.
Constantly seeming to forget
That I can always let
My worries float away
Remind myself that I’m okay
Reconnect with the Breath
Acknowledge the breadth
Of this Love inside my soul
Overflowing, never getting tired or old
It is forever within me
It is Everything I need
Linking me to the Sun and Stars
Caressing all of my scars
Holding space
Granting grace
To the heart in my chest
That continues to beat with unrest
Inner Guide, give me direction
Offer gentle correction
To thought, word and action
Assisting me in gaining traction
Rooting me to the ground
Mind not so loud
Just feeling the pain that helps me grow
Remembering to go with the flow
This breakdown seems so vile
But will soon fade into a smile.

She’s still broken
Fell back asleep
And has not woken
Sinking deep
One eye wide open
Two subconsciously closed
Forever and always hoping
To remain composed
But retracted into the mind
Overwhelming, consistent chatter
Treats the body unkind
Emotions scattered
Vulnerable to relapse
The depression and anxiety attacks
Whole life on the verge of collapse
Indifference piles up like brick stacks
Creating a wall
Heavy as f-ck
Too much weight; can’t move at all
Feeling forever stuck
Laying here
Heart beat alive
Covered in fear
Water below, ready to dive
Love is calling me near
Water consumingly cold
Difficult to breathe
But washes away the old
And grounds me to the Earth beneath
My weary feet
And the White Light I’ve seen
I will not accept defeat
Despite how challenging it’s been
Maybe my head under water
Isn’t all that bad
Resurfacing, I’ve floated further
Smiling, grateful and glad
Breathing in salty sea air
Ocean Breeze on my face
Friends who care
Take a picture just in case
I let go of the feeling
When I embraced the healing.

So many feelings unleashed
stagnance must come to cease
Trauma triggers;
hell, it figures...
because the life we’re living,
constantly overwhelming.
Stored emotional warfare,
Seems so ******* unfair.
but, what did they come up for?
There always seems to be more
than what's on the surface
that's making me nervous
and angry, I know,
because I've been at that all time low
and that's not where I ever want to go
back to again:
so unconscious
feeling nauseous
heart is racing
mind is pacing
blood is pumping
Mind is pounding
I need to get away.
how can this be okay?
*******, I just want it to stop
It takes control
of body, mind and soul
but, wait…
there's emerging resilience
overtaking this pestilence
reminding me that I am strong
even when everything seems so wrong
and although I may be afraid
that doesn't make me any less brave.
Courage is contagious in of itself;
when it gets rolling,
everything begins flowing.
My current finds
is that trauma reminds
me to look back inside
the whole picture of what's going on
breaking through the storm
even when my psyche’s torn...
that's the hardest part,
and then I press restart.
There will always be a flame Within
and that small light is where life begins.
when it's dim,
give it oxygen
and it will glow
increasingly so...
it may start out slow
but give it time with patience
the emerging resilience,
the white and gold
illuminate so bold
the inner body.
it'll be okay...
maybe it won't feel like it today
but you'll find a way
to press on
through the tears, through the pain
Through the sunshine and the rain.
gather where the elements meet,
feeling the Earth beneath your feet -
so sacred and grounding
the love that's surrounding
it will come in abundance
with no resistance
the weight will again shed,
my dear friend.
No longer will it depend on what you’ve been fed
And how to God you were once led,
As the Spirit descends
And your mind, it transcends
The light on your face
Is exuberant with grace.
So take a deep breath,
Because one day death
Will coming knocking on your door
And you’ll finally find what this was all for.