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ERR May 2011
A sedan pulls into a gas station, cutting me off
Full of five Irish thugs
Do you know how to get to the hospital?
Be careful
Said the biggest one, several scowls
Ok I will, smile walk home lock door they did it again
This was kind of similar, only it was
One guy, quite huge, in our home instead of near it
And he was much more specific
About how he would **** me
Bullets
Or
Blade
I will be back tomorrow
This happens to me a lot, I thought
ERR May 2011
She slapped me across the face and said
I’m never speaking to you again
Then she kissed my still rosy-raw handprint cheek
And kept me up all night
Tells me in one ear that I’m special
Painstakingly chosen, gifted to speak unique
In the other ear I hear about all the others she treats the same
Her visits and her calls are haphazard and irregular
I drop what I’m doing to channel her gospel
Which later reads insane secular
Sometimes inspiration is hallucinations are inspiring
The weight I wrapped in tender embrace no more with morning ‘riving
Each time she leaves me with a stuffy mass of lines
A messy page that she lets me keep for life, and before
I even finish reading, she’s out the door and with
Another I don’t even
Know if she’s
Ever coming
Back
ERR May 2011
The paint is chipping, the Christmas tree shutters hanging
Green on gray, brick stoop and twin column mouth
Opens to creaking stairs that made sneaking out commando work
My room made your favorite shade is gone, death to ugly orange
I used to think of it as my laboratory, safe haven for exploration
And abstract cultivation, I bled my innocence into the floorboards
There are still fist-sized holes along the stud that I detected
Remnants of the games I played and the four that I connected
The basement is still damp and dreary, the wooden cage for laundry suspended
At the bottom of a chute that you told me was the tomb of a curious girl
My weight bench, secondhand and mixed pounds with kilograms
Living in sin, vowed never to be defenseless training endless
The attic lends its hospitable hand to trapped bird and cobweb gems
Quarter-circle window kept by chain hungrily swallows smoke
Shelves packed so tight with yellowing knowledge and petrified wood
That if spiteful spark made love to
Musty air and
******* embers, I would never make it out
Déjà vu as backyard grass soothes badtripbitch with tingling tips
Of leathery flesh, ready to be buried and wormed in its bedbox
Overwhelmed like militia in failing keep against advancing hordes
Until nature’s handsome sprouts remind me life is beautiful, always
The trumpet vine grows hideous and spiny, roots reaching deep
Settles in its site and survives all assaults man-made
For a blink during the year its vermillion nectar tubes take flower
The hummingbirds find love outside my window in their bloom
ERR May 2011
I want to go back and witness the creation of the first mirror
So I can experience the invention of vanity
My ancestors hunted by hand and sharpened tool
Today I shop from an assortment of pre-made fatty meats
Love letters used to travel by horseback to the patient hopefuls
When my text message to my girlfriend is too slow, I get ******
Most of the casualties in war came from infection
The hospital is a ten minute drive in heavy traffic
A lifelong journey across the globe
Can be done in a day by plane
The heavens used to inspire; a mighty muse
Now most stars have names
I want to go back and witness Goddard and the Wright brothers
So I can watch them shrink the Earth with their imaginations
Gravity began as a headache, therapy as a ******* addiction
God as the human need for comfort, lysergic acid as mind control
Though appreciative of all that has been done
And the work that has yet to be completed by moving man
I have difficulty with the label
“Progress”
People have always been and always will be superbly flawed
Across cultures, continents
And most of all
Time
ERR May 2011
We no longer acknowledge each other’s eyes
Or speak unless addressed explicitly
But our energy reaches like wild tentacles, grasping to be mutual once more
Tangles like vines or still-learning shoe strings
Strangles me but sympathizes in the final few when I get sky-face
I heard your laugh from behind your back and knew I would
Never cause it
Again
It surged through me like an electric shock, not
A finger in the outlet, more like a toaster bath
I have never found currents to be painful, just warm
Even as my limbs fell limp from voltage
Your complexion kept me calm down to my copper core
Now each indication of your amusement ****** me, emptying weary veins
Acupuncture from untrained hands, reckless medicine
I never thought you would be my nerve damage
Chronic companion, my endorphins still have your toxic taste
ERR Apr 2011
My happy is a sneaky state with the tendency to lie
Directly: You will feel like this tomorrow
Or by
Omission: Positive hindsight
My happy, I have found, doesn’t captain a galleon in a bottle
Or dwell in a smog cloud at the cherry tip of hand-rolled disappointment
Filling an empty room with cancerous nostalgia
It doesn’t have a neatly labeled treasure map like they make you think in school
You can’t earn it, buy it, sell it or even steal it
My happy doesn’t taste like nectar or dye my mouth blue
It isn’t linear or logical or convenient or fair
Sometimes I forget about it altogether
I hope it isn’t Haley’s comet with one chance and only that
I try not to talk about things I don’t understand
But this has been a recurring issue
So far my happy appears to burn at fourfiftyone
Mate for life, and yet
Forget its own face like a spinster in a house with broken mirrors
Elusive friend of mine, my happy and I
Have shared a wonderful affair though the rendezvous were scarce
I have learned to live without her and make meaning from her ghost
It is when every light on the surface dies that the stars and moon shine most
ERR Apr 2011
You are the only woman who could fill
One of my notebooks
In a run-on-sentence from cover to cover
And still demand several sequels to ever be complete
It’s like when you know a movie is your favorite
Because it doesn’t get boring after a million viewings and
Knowing every line is the best part
You bring an ironic smile to my face every time
I think of hand cramps or dead pens or insomnia pangs
Worth the stiff muscles, you hardly waste the paper
And I would rather describe the face of morning I have loved
Than propose likeness with any concept I could dream
In endless possibilities and with resources unlimited
I would never find your equal, so why bother
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