Today I stared straight into the sun
But I felt no warmth
No reassuring gravitational pull
No light of day
Merely ultraviolet radiation
Ionized particles of the solar wind
Cancer of the skin
Burnt flesh and not an attractive tan
The inevitable burst and the destruction of Earth
Years after my demise
Blindness looms for spotted eyes
And the stubborn who cannot avert their gaze

Several little junkies, tweaking in a drug house
One was too ambitious and shot a lethal dose
His friends left him unconscious, hurried with their stash
Quickly numbed so cops would find no evidence of dope
Only when every spoon was cooked did they call for any aid
Kept him awake as best they could, sleep meaning death
The unspoken creed to save yourself from trouble first
Addicts and fiends from all over envied his potent product
Several junkies, all waiting to die

You melt my stress like
The first hit
Or
A solid set of pushups
An honest act of altruism
Seen or completed
(One thing I am remarkably good at without even trying is
Being kind of big so
I’ve been pushing cars out all winter, you should try it)
You interrupt my thoughts
Even when I’m telling a story and
That’s impressive
Knowing me
I’m known to create soundscapes with the echoes in my dungeon mind
Lonely compositions
Full volume but drowned out by you
Sometimes I become completely detached
To any idea I’ve had or action I’ve committed
But you bombard me with the beauty of mistakes
And the merit of being proud
Catch me slithering into my hole
Stomp on my tail and drag me into the light
You make me transparent but
I love it
To the universe, I am murky
For you
I am clean

Some days I feel like misshapen clay
A child’s inept attempt at sculpting a shoddy piece of pottery
I crack in the glaze phase never attain proper consistency
Clearly covered in artisan fingerprints that were poorly masked
I live a lifetime as a bowl, barely holding water
Raising as my own planted seeds who grow too big for me
As trees
I occupy a dusty desktop where I am keeper of an arsenal
Of pens
Enveloped in now-dried pigment from early school art class
One day, I am accidentally elbowed off of the kitchen counter
And fall to the floor
Shatter into fragments
Bits and morsels
Chunks and crumbs
Shards of misshapen clay

We pulled over against the snow bank
Mid-journey to band practice
On a one way street
Allowing traffic flow
A white van passed us by
With a behemoth packed inside
Mess in excessive circus dress
Outfit of a clown
Spotted red and yellow gown
Round nose and everything
Like the killer from “It”
Next to him was another
Man
With
Down’s
Syndrome
The pair stared at us like we had
Two heads
Glared, really…
Then they peeled off
And we jammed

I stole from you and you never found out
You ripped my hat so you sewed it back
And bought me a new one
Fitted (hid it in my locker)
You made fun of me as a young child when I spoke to myself
I decided with you to treat each day as new
You lied to me and told me fantastic tales of hidden caves
I defended you from hungry wolves when you met with the masses
You told me you loved me before you met me
I broke your favorite toys
I carry all of your secrets like Atlas against the Earth
You helped break my hand and now we don’t speak
You taught me how to breathe music and be rhythm
I wrote you a poem but you didn’t seem to care
I would meet you late at night in the cut-through by the river
You brought me everything you had as a gift when I was sick
I used to make you laugh in class with every word I said
You gave me a drawing that you spent hours on
I have always looked up to you and not-so-stealthily idolized
You make me really, truly, irrefutably happy
I fell asleep on the highway driving home after caring for you
You saw me dying but you laughed and kicked me instead
I have my fondest recollections about your bounds and welcoming waves
For the longest time you were the outlet for a developing imagination

I have
A million
Or
More
Things
That I need
To say
To you
Before I die
But I’m not going
To say
A
Single
****
One