Water and death; the grand unifiers
My descent from glacier-like nimbus
To emerald elevation
Teaches me
The Mexican mountains fast-approaching
Barren, hills enveloped in mossy fondant
To think man festers in our planet’s orifices
Unable to sip the trickling life for fear of illness
Spreading death like gossip
And I, cramped in drifting craft
Soaring in the former future
Am safe
If Da Vinci could see me now
We’d have a **** good laugh
Comparing ironies

Though dulled and faded with age
Memories of violent encounters demand service of a scribe
The enemy ambushed the amicable, interrupting instruction
Plans were made and location changed to find a fitting field for fight
The mob moved through streets dusted with white
Settled prematurely in a small public clearing
The challenger caught my friend off guard, his temple struck
A sickening thud rang out over the posse screaming madness
My confidence waned in shock but before my thought completed
A mighty counter rocked aggressor’s jaw, knocked unconscious
Dumbfounded he slumped to his knees and made grapple for support
Thrown to a defenseless dorsal pose awaiting beating
Each strike from my friend’s boxing fists landed with force
Dynamic demolition; I could hear the snap of bone
Again and again the primal chanting of the mob
Was overpowered by noise from blunt trauma to a damaged brain
Authorities arriving cleared the crowd with their sirens
I dashed to wooded cover carrying the victor’s possessions
To my astonishment, joined by the badly bruised
The flesh of his ebony face stained sanguine with defeat
He felt his tissue for lumps as his pain set in at last
Adrenaline disappearing, ears bleeding from concussions
An infamous day to me as brutality yet unmatched
Performed for barbarous and sadistic spectators, I among them

In description and depiction
Your face has escaped my words
You defy my understanding when I thought myself well-learned
Like the meaning of life, or death in turn
You are the sensation when I step through specter of top stair
Simultaneously taking my breath away
While reminding me of the earth under my feet
For which I am grateful
You are the rainbow teasing me from the oil spill
Coagulating in the concrete streets
You came about by chance
Filled my mundane life with beauty
You are the simplest of science experiments
Famously reliable
Tested and proven so many times through the years
That I have come to accept you as fact
You are the trust between a mother and infant child
Love growing with each day and smile
A symbiotic synchronized rhythm
So strong that it is natural
You ask me sometimes if your lack of presence in poetry
Equates to a lack of presence in my thoughts and feelings
Quite the opposite; you come to me in my everyday life
Darling I let the beautiful speak for itself

You used to disappear for months at a time
I was too young to understand but I did anyways
You hurt me like you hurt yourself
The difference is I remember
As children we were sad and tragic misfits
Hell bent on escape of some kind
You used to try to jump out of second story windows
Enough to break eternal but not to close your mind
I found you once trembling in the kitchen
In your pocket was a handful of capsules
Ran for help and with reinforcements recommitted you
You told me I could stop you now but there would be a tomorrow
Your depression worsened and school became your nemesis
You singlehandedly proved how cruel and evil children can be to others
A victim of your instability and chemical imbalance
A social untouchable, they kicked you and you scampered under the porch
The progression across the spectrum of moods made you manic
I could handle you when you had lost hope, but you became unpredictable
Needing everyone’s help, you couldn’t bear to act alone
Always making scenes we were bashful when in crowds
I picked you up after class and you showed me your self-assigned art project
Your room was filled with them, scribbles on the walls
Poetry and carved incantations and letters
Just the way you were when you lived in the hospital
I will always remember when I was first allowed to visit
Your expression dull, eyes dead and voice hoarse but constant
Your babble was brilliant even though you spoke in tongues
Drew me equations, diagrams, promises and master plans
I keep them still and hope that you will make no replications
Reminder of the horror that goes into reparations

In twenty circles around the sun
I have come near enough to observe
From atop a distant hill I stood watching
The city of insanity
The people moved about with apparent purpose
To and fro running errands and the like
The metropolis thriving with attractive life
Its breath forming clouds in the cold of the night
From my sentinel’s post I had limited comprehension
Of the rituals or values held inside their gates
Near enough to know the man I would be
Far enough to be drawn by mystery
I flirt with delusion behind closed doors
My mistress with a sweet whisper customized for my ears
Similarly I stroll the perimeter of these walls
A rogue on the outskirts considering integration
These gates are welcoming without invitation
Yet they lock from the inside-permanent asylum
Someday I will live amongst this community
Unaware of any world but my own

I made myself a promise but it didn’t last the morning
Submit to my illusions yet again forming patterns
Journey down the rabbit hole with safe return uncertain
Constantly I push the boundaries of introspection
I demand more from seen scenery, seek to enhance
For years my body went about and I its faithful shadow
Kept silent and obedient, thinking I was clever yet
Just a jester, a sleeping shackled servant, serf or slave
Life as a dreamwalker consumes imagination
Hollow and endless, a cardboard cutout with a background
Made of muddied shades of grey, filling up physical space
While behind my eyes I could be anywhere
In pursuing solitary silence, problematic fissure to foundation
Radically alters self perception creating warped identity
I linger as a ghost, heart beating cold venom
As I haunt the places where I could have made something of myself
A lifetime spent exploring the deepest psychological caverns
Has left me accustomed to dim lighting, shy and wary of the day
Evolution passing me by; I was hiding in my cave
Inventing fire and the wheel as the universe went digital
To emerge and join the societal stream, be swept up in the current
Would almost surely overwhelm me, leave me submerged and suffocating
I must swim to the surface, escape my dependence
Before the water freezes over, holding me tightly through the seasons

My thirst for conversation has continued to impress me
Fills me with stories helping to shape another in my eyes
Met with friend for a mutual exchange of identity
An interview with questions directed; I asked first
Starting with the earliest formulation of conscious thought
Hers was the return of a sick father
She eagerly embraced him when he arrived home safely
Vividly describes the large red chair present
I transitioned to exchange of reflection most powerful
Searching for a single memory of hers that stood alone
Her face brightened, her eyes shining with nostalgia
Her dog’s name was Max
Max entered her life when she was one year old
On the celebration of her birth in fact
He was the runt of the pack, a ruby retriever
Grew to maturity and average size, with love
Max made his way into her writing in the classroom
His possible harm one of her first worries
He was a cherished family pet, she loved him with all her heart
Being a young child, sometimes she was too rough
Cancer took Max from this world at nine years of age
He was buried under a peach tree in the back yard
The peaches swollen and ripe make death turn to life
To this day they represent the sweetness of his soul

Her early years were full of stress at thought of parental separation
Subject to fickle fears and frozen emotions
Her true panic began in high school days
Developed into distinguishable attacks and episodes
There were never tangible reasons or focus points for fear
Racing thoughts, vertigo chills, imminent death
Creeping insanity and the dry, frustrating inability to swallow
Worsened as college approached and the familiar faded fast
Week one was worse than any panic period yet
Heart flutters, helplessness and disorienting dizzy spells
Friends were far away or had yet to be encountered
Sympathy for perceived insanity ran thin
These experiences require constant care and medication
Hospital visits and appointments with understanding ear
She shared her life with me through effect of anxiety
I shared in turn, but couldn’t help distraction
We did not record the interview so I took it upon myself
Documenting with equal force her story and my amazement