i wanna write her a love song
but i am useless in her gaze
her eyes light up my very soul
and i get lost within the haze

i wanna make her immortal
though i am putty in her hands
i cannot sculpt a single curve
and i am melting where she stands

i wanna be her forever
but time is on her side
and if i managed to wait her out
i'm not the first who tried

i wanna put her in paintings
with colors bright and real
but i am not a painter
and can't make the canvas feel

i wanna taste from her soul
and drink her essence down
but there are finer wines on earth
and i'm not the best around

I will let you slowly ruin me until there's nothing left but a pile of dust that faintly smells like me
You won't recognize me in the streets because I will become something so broken that I blend in with the sidewalks
I suppose you will lock me up like the good liquor and take me out when you please and I will be grateful when you reach for another cup of me because you will have craved my taste
You are not a fair fight
You can hurt me without even being arms length away
I never looked good in black and blue but it seems those are my hearts new favorite colors
I was taught to fight at a young age
Taught to always keep myself protected but when you come around I forget everything about the past everything that I have suffered to learn
Like run before you hide and do not drink your feelings and never give someone all of you- they will always leave you unrecognizable

She was a dreamer who lived in
an insomniac world. Nothing came easy....
every time she tried to begin,
she would stumble and fall, but that
didn’t stop her. Although she thought
differently...her will could withstand anything thrown in her way, just another challenge fought.
The past haunted her days, shadowing almost every move…every single breath. Time always promised to make things better, but she knew better than to find
truth in those words. Truth lay somewhere
far from where she had ever let herself dream, too heavy from all the weight she carried.
There was only one time she let herself lean…letting her weight get the best of her, thinking she could find a way to dream peacefully forever, but even then she failed to succeed.
She lost the ability to hold her world together.
Indifferent to the world, numb to all
emotion, she lost hope in being set free.
The darkness surrounding so great; faith too small.
So she poured her pent up pain,
into artful master pieces.
She sketched abstract obscurities that depicted her darkest of secrets.
She painted intangible thoughts and feelings she longed to be fulfilled with majestic words that put anyone who dared to read, in the footsteps of her soul. Broken and blue she crafted old warn memories into the picturesque landscapes of her wildest dreams. She elegantly danced with the monsters under her bed and gracefully with the skeletons in her closet… breaking free.

number 1: i use humor as a defense mechanism so don't be surprised when you try to show me the galaxies inside your lungs and i laugh like you only have one constellation per breath.

number 2: my OCD will drive you absolutely mad because i can never seem to wash the world off my hands and i'll obsess wondering if i locked the door on my way out.

number 3: these days my smiles are so forced i fear they may resemble that of a serial killer.

number 4: i say "i'm sorry" a lot as if i'm dowsing you in holy water while dropping to my knees praying for forgiveness, that will get old and eventually you'll stop believing in me.

number 5: i have trust issues that run so deep i don't even believe the voices in my own head.

number 6: self medicating has become my only form of survival, you can't help me and i can't help myself.

number 7: i lost faith in myself when i realized faith had no interest in me.

number 8: it won't matter how many times you hurt me i will always come back.

number 9: when you get too close i will leave you with fractured bones from trying to grip you too tightly.

number 10: someone once said "never fall for someone whose palms cause earthquakes on your skin, they'll look you dead in the eye and tell you they don't give a **** and will go back to trying to kiss your pieces back together" i'll let you break me.