You would think by now I would have known better
And I do, but it doesn’t even matter
*** even if I know I can’t do anything about it
I keep doing self-harming things afraid to admit
I am sick, just another lunatic
I need some help but I am afraid to ask
I wish life would cut me some slack

But it won’t life is a *****
Life would slit your throat and throw you into a ditch
That’s not something special against me
Other people are just better at being carefree

I worry about everything so much, I became thick-skinned
To the point where I just ignore my self-harm, I might as well be skinned
And I wanna give up, I wanna get better but I don’t know-how
Maybe it’s time to take the last bow
Or maybe I should try another vow
But I took so many I don’t even remember, you reap what you sow
My own brain can’t even take itself seriously anymore

How do I continue living when I have zero on the scoreboard
I am twenty-two, and I am already behind by a hundred points
If I manage to pull through
It would be the greatest underdog story that god ever drew

Oh don’t let me get started on god
I have enough problems to write about without playing that card
I think I am just done
I can’t even win a one on one against no one

But I still got time on the clock
Lucky for me I hate to give up
And I won’t let people mock
Mock the guy who was the runner up
When the winner was no one

I always found the idea a bit dumb
But after experiencing it myself
I can say my heart is beating like a drum
We both knew we have to stop ourself
But now that we did
It’s hard to get rid
Of the unknown feelings I have inside
I am not saying we should have tried
What we did was probably right
But nothing is black and white

I am not trying to get you back
Just trying to understand oneself
To let my mind show me a small crack
So I can get to know myself
Anyway I just wanted to say
I hope we won’t fade away

I feel like this world, doesn’t like me
I feel like this world, doesn’t want me
I feel like I’m different, I feel like I don’t fit
This world doesn’t accept me, for who I am
But I aint gonna change

I will force myself on the world
And make it adept to me
Because I aint gonna change

People tell me,
Only crazy people don’t change
So I guess I’m crazy, I guess I’m weird
This world aint fair but I want it to be
So I aint gonna change

I refuse to change,
I refuse to let the world win
I will die a suffering death, before I let the world -change me

The more I learn, the less I know
The more I think about it, I just become more con-fused
But I don’t care
I will keep on going I will keep on trying

I feel like I'm split, I feel like my brain doesn’t know what to do anymore
Yet I'm determent to keep on going,
Even though I don’t know what direction I should go
I take a step right take two to the left and then one more to the right.
I guess I'm afraid to take a chance, to walk without looking back
I say it’s a lie I say it’s a choice but it’s just me being scared for my life

I wish i could just take the sadness out of, you
If i could i would destroy the things that -hurt you
When I think about you, I get this déjà vu
Me and you we are the same

Me and you we are so different
I feel like life is pulling us apart
I try to think with my heart, but I’m just not smart enough

So many people gave up, on me
And even though I’m one of them
I won’t give up on you, all I wanna do is get through to you
I promise I will be there for you
And I'm sorry that that’s all I can do

I wish I could just take the sadness out of, you
If I could I would destroy the things that -hurt you
I would fight a dragon for you

There is not a thing that I wouldn’t do
To take the sadness out of you

When I met you, I pushed you away
And I thought that like the rest of them you would stay there
But you came in knocking, refused to go away

I brook down and I poured my heart to you
Then I went back to my ways
And tried to push you again
But you were still there, upset that I swear

You came in when I was vulnerable, my walls were down
All I could think about is how to get out
I was the king. The king of no one, but you took my crown
I don’t know how you did it and I don’t know why
But somehow you became someone I could trust
I tried to act like a tough guy but I was scared inside
You are the first one the first one in ages that didn’t give up

But I wish I could have done something for you
I wish I could return the favor even by a bit
What you did for me might sound simple for you
But it meant the world for me… it meant the world for me