I keep telling myself that being sad is a huge crime, because I have everything I could ever ask for in order to be happy. Yet I feel like something is missing. Like if there's a gap waiting to be filled. It's killing me, because despite all the loving friends and family I have, that gap is the thing that is keeping me from being truly happy. And the thing that makes me more confused is that I don't feel it during the day, it's at 3 am when I'm dying. I guess you can say this is my biggest crime.

I know one day there will be somebody to look at me differently than the way I look at myself. Someone who sees the real me. Someone who accepts me for who I am. Of course there will be boys who will tear your heart into two. But that's totally normal. Because how else will we learn to love through everything.

Smoke starts swirling in my pained head
I know I should stop day dreaming
But my broken heart has killed me
So I stand in the clouds in my head screaming

Looking for something to hope for
There’s so many things in my head
Mist everywhere makes it hard to find them  
It’s like if everything in my head has shredded

All this emptiness crushes me
So I try to scream my way out
But as I look deeper than usual
I can see something more than just emptiness

So many people around me
Yet I manage to feel alone
Far away I see happy thoughts flowing
Eating lunch with my family and smiles  

But then I remember the fog
How will I escape this big void
Do I return to the real world
With just one step, I’ll be back to the real world

I will fall into my problems
But this headache won’t be here still  
This blindness will leave me entirely
Soon I will be able to leave this thick cloud of mines

I have to be patient for now
I know it’s for the best in me
I know this haze will soon be clear
For now I’ll try to explore what’s in my head