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the kind of sad that doesn’t fit

anywhere. mine to keep. the world lets so many

ugly

things exist i’ll never learn to

talk,

words come only when i’m the solitary

witness

it’s not your fault, it’s nobody’s fault

our parents could have taught us but the ugly keeps them

quiet

who wants to speak of that?

you say you are

weak

and i think of all the times you were my

steadiness.

i hate these tears because they make you

ache

you are too good for the

ugly.
 Jan 2013 Tyler Nicholas
-D
it tastes like burnt toast—

slightly too much of a good thing—

& it sounds like a siren with a heartbeat that can’t stop from boiling over.

it feels like a marathon,

but it aches like a sprint;

like you’ve been running for days,

but you never stopped going full speed ahead. 

& its weight is that of the sword you carry to slay your dragons at dusk.

the scent is that of the caked on grease beneath the burner you typically use for boiling water for tea,

after you’ve set it aflame, of course.

but its movement is most nauseating:
it writhes in the back of your throat—

taunting both your creativity and your mental health,

(but it is always a hit&run;).

& its course through your shabby, lonely, pathetic little dwelling place

is both short & long;

you welcome its company after living alone,

but you drown it in angst & ardor.
 Jan 2013 Tyler Nicholas
Bean
I read somewhere recently
to release all my sorrows and anger
I must start by going within. Finding
that place where it all goes away.

My question to you is, is who are you
to say my worries can be
scrubbed away like dirt on a dish,
when they feel more like infections to

quarantine like a plague. When I
venture deep inside behind my
mental consciousness I find it crowded
like a busy city street.

I wander lost in the sounds and smells
surrounded by my illusions of
the human spirit. I fade into the
background of my mind.

I reach for a hand to help
me on my way, but I must climb the staircase
of self-doubt before I find my
own way out.
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