I feel so hurt,and lost                                                                                                   I cant get out of bed                                                                                                     What is wrong with me                                                                                              Is I dont have you                                                                                                        To talk to and help me through the day                                                                         Every night I dream your alive                                                                             And wake up and your not                                                                                         How can I survive without you                                                                                          I feel like someone has pulled my heart out                                                              Im empty and dont know how to be                                                                          They say times a healer                                                                                                Its been 2 years and I still feel the same                                                                       The day I lost you ,I dont feel anything just hurt

You continue to manipulate                                                                                         And spread lots of hate                                                                                               Put seeds of doubt                                                                                                        Into peoples mind                                                                                                                     Always trying to seperate                                                                                          Your mask will slip someday                                                                                       The truth will come spilling out                                                                             When that happens what can you do                                                                        No one to blame only you                                                                                 The sooner you stop your evil the better  for everyone                                                Your a narcissistic pyschopath                                                                                 Who does not have a clue                                                                                    To love our to care for others

In my life I have many regrets, not what I done but what I did not do                            Living in misery and putting up with you                                                                    You put me down every chance you got                                                                     I  put up with you and thought it would get better                                                        But instead it got worse I ended up being your unpaid live in nurse                           This was not how I imagined my life, so unhappy so much strife                              You are passed now and its sad but I feel relief and then feel bad                              My advice to anyone going through what I did is leave                                              Respect yourself trust and believe                                                                            You are special and deserve to be loved and treated with respect                               I live alone now and am happy for I love and care for myself

Im in my house with my little pup                                                                              Things quite good not much up                                                                                The next thing I no my kids are coming home                                                            And staying with me until lockdown is gone                                                             We all get on pretty well                                                                                              Then my son passes out and breaks his foot                                                                 He stays in bed for weeks and has to then wear a boot                                               All was going fine and I was trying my best to be kind                                             I then find out from them that I dont wash the dishes right                                     I could do them right our they could wash them themselves                                      I felt really hurt and upset                                                                                           We are in the middle of this pandemic                                                                        Who gives a **** about a ***** knife

Im fed up with my life                                                                                                                                              Just been used by others,all through it                                                                        Got nothing to show for it                                                                                     I have been abused and I have been beatten                                                                                                                            Gone hungry with no place to sleep                                                                                   Now I just feel invisible                                                                                               Have done good things in my life                                                                           Tried to help others through trouble and strife                                                               The dark hour has come upon me                                                                       No one is there that I can see                                                                                     Feel that I dont matter and Im just garbage                                                                Growing up I was told horriblr cruel things                                                                 That I would amount to nothing

In this great big world of ours                                                                                    At the moment things are really hard                                                                        But we are very lucky non the less                                                                         Cause we have the wonderful NHS                                                                        They stand on the front line everyday                                                                      And fight this virus                                                                                                  We have the brilliant local shops                                                                           Their front line staff looking after us                                                                      Their is all the cleaners in the hospitals                                                                       Making sure everything is hygenic and clean                                                        They dont fuss and probably hardly ever seen                                                            All the delivery men and women                                                                                Putting their lifes in danger bringing us  what we need

I fell for you the minute I met you                                                                                You didnt feel the same                                                                                              We went out for a few weeks                                                                                   The happiest times of my life                                                                                       We got on really well and you are really nice                                                             I just wasnt the one meant to be in your life                                                                Cant hardly believe that was nearly 30 years ago                                                       You are married now,with a lovely wife and kids                                                     My life is happy and I have 2 girls and a wonderful son                                                 I just know for me you were the only one                                                                 Just seeing you made my heart flutter,my knees go weak                                         It great to see on facebook how happy you are                                                       Not a stalker just looking from afar

You didnt love me,you controlled me                                                                           I was so scared of upsetting you                                                                                    Every day I never knew what way you would be                                                         Thought it was love and care but that was not true                                                       My head was always bouncing and fear was in my heart                                      Always tried to do my best to keep you happy                                                     Nothing was never enough,your cruel jibes                                                                 Your twisted mind games                                                                                            I always thought it was my fault                                                                               But that was not true                                                                                                   Because the nasty twisted hateful one was you

I waken up all alone                                                                                                   Sometimes I do online shopping                                                                                Just to have someone in my home                                                                              I can talk with for a while                                                                                                          When the postman/woman calls                                                                         Its great to talk to them and have a chat                                                                      They have to be polite and leave to do their work                                                             Loneliness is an awful thing                                                                                        Trying to fill your day                                                                                                Is very hard and sometimes you see nobody                                                               From morning to night                                                                                                When you see someone you talk to much                                                               Company is a wonderful thing dont take it for granted

leave me alone, to live my own life                                                                             for your laurels and gains,I will never strife                                                           your sitting room gossip,dosent interest me                                                              I would rather be with children,happy and free                                                     for children our so young and astute                                                                           Teaching you things you would never learn in a book

I moved in to the house next door to you                                                              ­       You were so kind to me decent and true                                                           Never had I met anyone like you before                                                           ­      When I called your name me you never did ignore                                                     We became good friends I would like to think                                                           You were clever and smart and and pulled me from the brink                           We only knew each others for 10 months                                                           ­   But you meant the world to me                                                               ­                    You were so humble and how wonderful you were you just couldnt see                    In nature you had a great interest                                                         ­                        As a person you were one of the best                                                             ­           You passed away one Wednesday                                                        ­                     I felt so sad you had gone away up in heaven you will stay now your happy and at rest please know Leonard you werent one of but you were the best

I love you but sometimes, I dont like you                                                                   You are my child and I will always put you first                                                         Now your up and grown home of your own                                                         I feel you think you know it all                                                                                  You are very good at making me feel small                                                                  We discuss my finances out in the open                                                                   You decide what I can afford and what I cant                                                           I live alone and just wanted a little dog                                                                     For company and  to cuddle and love                                                                        But you decided I could not afford it                                                                      And preached to me like you were God

Even though its 2019                                                                                           He cant be himeself                                                                                                   was brought up in a strict home                                                                             Man marries woman and they start up a home                                                   They settle down to married life                                                                               He provides she is a stay at home wife                                                                    Soon a couple of kids come along                                                                               A boy and a girl how can that be wrong                                                                     But still inside he is not happy                                                                              His wife he loves but just not in that way                                                                   Has struggled since he was 15 always new he was gay                                                But could never be seen that way                                                                             It would break his wifes heart not to mention the kids

I am here but I am not ,I hurt but you will not see                                                       Trying my best just to be                                                                                            No one seems to notice, no ome seems to care                                                            I am no longer young and fair                                                                                     Am older now and just go through the motions                                                         My heart is broken but who has a notion                                                                      Someday I hope to see you again                                                                              Until then I will try to get peace with the pen                                                             Even my so called best friend she never calls                                                              Is she scared of me breaking down is she scared if I fall                                             Im lost so unhappy feel like I have long part of me                                                                                                                      Want her to come back and sit down just to see                                                          Her again would make me so happy

You are supposed to be my best friend                                                                     When I lost my sister I thought my life was at an end                                              Its been 8 weeks you still have not visited me                                                                   You have not called just the odd text                                                                                        Do I not mean anything to you I feel very vexed                                                              We used to laugh and carry on                                                                                 And have lots of fun                                                                                                    But I need you now                                                                                                    As I am finding it hard to cope                                                                                           I need you to stand beside me and give me some hope                                                  I can understand what I have done                                                                              That has made you up and run                                                                                     If you are having problems in your life     tell me about them I want to be there for you for help and advice. I thought thats what friends were far but obviously you dont feel the same its just a crying shame. As Im in such a state I need all the help I can get but if you cant be bothered that is fine at least I have found out what your like in time a good friend is their for the good and the bad  when you are happy and when you are sad but it appears to me we are no longer friends you and me

I cant get myself out of bed in the morning                                                               This feeling comes without warning                                                                            For days all I can do is sleep                                                                                      Dont want to speak to anyone                                                                                 They cant know im feeling this low                                                                           If anyone calls pass it of with a text                                                                           Got a bit of a cold be fine after a day or twos rest                                                      Feel so ashamed that I cant get up and  go out                                                                 Just feel liveless scared and full of doubt                                                                    The thought of leaving the house                                                                             Fills me with dread am like a frightened little mouse                                                Back up to bed I get in under the quilt                                                                        Full of disgust full of guilt

Im lost without you in my life,I dont know whats day or night                                   I cant believe that you are gone and out of sight                                                            ­  You will forever be in my heart                                                            ­                              
I cant function now we are apart                                                            ­                             Just sleep all day and hardly see a sole                                                             ­            Cant find away out of this dark hole                                                             ­                Dont want to go out our see anyone                                                           ­         Just lie indoors away from the sun                                                                                                                          I am not angry or cross just  so lost

I am so sorry if I ever hurt you                                                                                   That was the last thing I meant to do                                                                                 I loved you deep within my heart                                                                                All that just rowing kept us apart                                                                                  Your gone know and I need you to know                                                                  Im sorrier than you will ever know                                                                         Sorry we will no longer be together                                                                            Sorry we cant have a cup of tea                                                                               Sorry we cant be the old just you and me

You have gone now and I am lost                                                                               Would do anything to get you back, at any cost                                                         Lots of the time we fought like cat and dog                                                               But now I feel like I am walking in fog                                                                       I dont know where to go,I cant get anywhere                                                            Cant think of what to say and dont really care                                                           I hope you can see me and hope you know how much I loved you so                       Although I dont want you to go away I know you are away                                I feel in denial, I want to pretend, its all a game                                                         You will come back in the end                                                                                    If it has taught me anything it is this,treat the people you love with care and respect,cause none of us know how much time we have left. Always be kind and caring ,and nice ,make them proud

I loved you since I was born,you were the best big sister ever known.                           We lived together for many years                                                                                  Brought up three children together they turned out well                                              You made sure they all got well educated,it was very important to you                 We were all happy together for many years                                                                 You and I then parted as we rowed alot                                                                      The love we had seemed to be forgot                                                                         We had lots of pressure and no outside support                                                             Both going through pain both going through hurt                                                        Now my sweet sister you have just passed today                                                    And I dont want you to go away                                                                                                                                          I wish you could come by and sit with me                                                                And have a nice cup of tea

At last I feel safe and sound                                                                                          I live alone and that is fine                                                                                                    Have no one to answer to                                                                                                     Am my on boss                                                                                                                I still have friends and go out and have fun                                                                      But dont come home to a controlling one                                                                                Come home and its just me and the cat                                                                          She is happy and dosent answer back                                                                               I used to be so afraid,always scared to speak                                                                   When I lived with you I felt weak                                                                                Looking back I think you were the weak one                                                             You could not bear to see me have fun                                                                          Now your gone Ived got my like back

Everything I do and say, you take the wrong way                                                        I try my best to be good,I get you groceries and cook you food.                                              I take you where you need to go,but its never enough                                                 You find fault in everything ,and it just tough.                                                    I cannot understand how you never see                                                                    How difficult you can be                                                                                                                                                                                       You never see the good in folk                                                                                      Always whining complaining and its no joker                                                            People try to help you as best they can                                                                            But you never seem to understand                                                                            Youre always so hard done by                                                                                       But you make others cry                                                                                               If you carry on this way , all your friends will go away.

For most of my life I have been in a very bad dark place.                                                Most of my relationships were toxic looking back in hingsight its such a waste               People always seemed to want to control me, I dont know why?                                     I just wanted to be loved not treated like crap and despised.                                        There have been times when I thought about ending it all                                             I was so messed up my head was all over the place.                                                    Trying to keep everyone else happy all around me .                                                    People will say you should only get treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.I am sorry but I dont aggree. The people who treat you like that its their problem .I have been treated like ******* for years through childhood and adulthood. I have had enough its time to stand up for myself and promise myself no more.I am not putting up with this behaviour any more not for one more second.In relationships just because someone does not beat you up it does not mean its not abuse. Always putting someone down always laughing at their plans thats abuse. I feel its emotional always chipping away at their confidence.How could someone say I love you and then treat you like that. Its wrong I have left now and I am not going back. It may be difficult financially but I will have peace every penny I spent had to be checked over by you.You need professional help, not me  you are controlling and thats not normal. You are no longer my problem. I am gone and im not coming back no longer will I feel trapped

I lost my father when I was 12 was left with a pyscho brother violent as hell  .      My father told me you would help,I was with him when he passed he said it will all be well .You turned your back on all of us.My mother you ignored and treated like dirt.You witnessed the violence time after time but still you did nothing is that not a crime?You only lived a few minutes away but in your home I never did stay. You were so cold and would never talk about your  only younger brother my father.I never could understand you so cold and cruel.In the village you and your wife were looked upon as up market kind an nice.Deep down I knew the real you.I lost my father when he was 55 not very old he would be 93 if he were still alive.You lived until your were 93 your funeral I never went to .I would have only been a hypocrite.Its strange to think I always want you to love and be proud of me but you were empty cold and ugly.I never wished any harm on you but will never understand the things you did not do.You never called the police on him even when you seen the destruction that he caused.I no longer want your love or respect and  to me you were pathetic.You hid behind your own four walls and never grew a set of *****