It was just some day, nothing really different,
Until I saw you walk past me, and go by.
The very and every sight of you brings back emotions,
Tormenting, upsetting, wanting never to die.
I never actually loved you, that I just could not,
So why did your decision affect me so much?
And how can it be that my yearn for your hand,
Has gone to fear of speech, sight, or touch?
It was so long ago, I’d think it no longer matters,
And up to this point, I was doing alright.
This is true if I ignore that my lack of pursuing you
Then caused me to fast, cloud my thoughts, and never sleep at night.
All I ever wanted was a shared affection,
I never meant to embrace anything more.
Just to have this one aspect of life,
That I’ve yet come to adore.
And here I sit, so long and so far
From that time I essentially rid myself of you.
I can see your face, the one I adored,
Even if I once denied that true.
I cannot grasp the pain I now feel
Whenever I see you are near.
And as my soul locks up as it once did,
I ask if it does so from love…or fear?
I thought I knew of heartache,
I thought I had felt it before.
I look you in the eye and then a mystical hand
Rips out my heart and throws it to the floor.
I was always very fond of you,
But I wouldn’t say “in love”.
But I guess the heart just knows reason
That reason knows nothing of…