I change my colors
According to the situation
Depending on the person

I change my colors
Try to blend in
It feels like a sin

I change my colors
To keep the true ones from showing
Trying to keep the cup from overflowing

I change my colors
This is the curse I bear
My lungs are filled
With someone else's air

I change my colors
To camouflage the stain
Upside down smiles
To cover up the pain

I change them so much
I can no longer find my own
And as the search continues
My palette will surely grow

Upon an evening
Introducing the cold dark night
Beheld a starless sky
Not a spec of light
I felt a presence linger
Upon which I could touch no finger
In my mind there brushed a feeling
So quaint and bizarre
Perceived from immediate space
As from afar
Someone staring at me
Glaring at me
Gazing into my soul
Taking me deeper down the rabbit hole
Ambiguously shifting between good and bad
Slowly but surely driving me mad
I have been ****** with this curse
It hurts like a disease
It just keeps getting worse
Am I who I am?
Who I am supposed to be?
Or am I just an empty husk
A shell of the former me?
Continuing to stare my conscience down
I hardly ever smile, I do more than frown
Yet I have to go on
Hoping I haven't sang my swan song
Trying to elaborate on my way of thinking
I used to resort to heavy drinking
To keep my mind out of the quicksand sinking
Staring death in the face
I see it winking
The devil had a hold on me
That I know for sure
Conniving, plotting, misleading, deceiving
The things I had known to be pure
Is the path I am on now worth of believing?
Or are the tiles shambles
And am I still schizophrenic in perceiving...?

I gathered all my emotions
To question my devotion
Gathered here in the dark
To rekindle my essence
I just need a little spark
A ray of light during these cloudy days
A weapon to fight these demons
Be it to my dismay
Trembling with every thought
Return to me foul beast
Return to me what you stole
Return to me while I am om the brink
Return to me before I completely sink
The table has been set
And the candles have been lit
For me to reforge this bond
Get it back to whole
Im calling upon my own spirit
It's a seance of the soul

Alexandra

You had the name of a queen
The heart of a lion
Your love could be felt and seen

You were my birthgiver
My friend
Part of my soul
Never got tell you how much I really loved you
Now it's out of my control

Because those words
They echo back to my ear
Always hoping your voice will cut through
And take away the fear

Now I have to go on
Alone and afraid
Every second
Wishing you could have stayed