Who am I?
Am I this?
Or am I that?
Or am I nothing at all?

Everything can happen
Any time
I wanna learn you language
I want to speak to you in your mother tongue
I wanna bite your lips
They’re so sweet
You’re my baby
I wanna ******* everywhere
I wanna ******* in your parents bedroom
How have I become so possessed?
I’m just obsessed with you
Talking with my therapist about you
Talking with my friends about you
Talking in my head about you
All the time
I’m so drunk
And you’re the strongest *****
I’ve tried so far
You’re my muse
And my seducer
To think about you every minute
To write thousands words
To describe my feelings
To write you out of my head
But yet
You still there
You have taken all the space
You’re everywhere

Squeaky brakes, no helmet
Pray to your god
Cheat your destiny
Bet on your life
Be unfair
Don’t believe in fairy tales
Those are for the weak people
Don’t be imprisoned lunatic
Morality for the herd
Do what you want
For you only
Trust your gut
Play big
Listen nobody
Trust yourself
Listen your body
You’re the god
And you’re god’s servant
Don’t be a hypocrite
Shout out loud
Your truth
Don’t listen to others
Their truth has nothing to do
With yours
Worship nothing
But life itself

Would you agree for a substitute for love ?
You see I’m vegan and I always use a substitute for meat
So maybe for love it will also work out
As I can’t afford one
Too sophisticated and my life is way too complicated
Can’t really rely on me
As I’m like a wind
Today I’m here
Tomorrow there
But I need love anyway you know?
So maybe you would agree to be my love substitute?
I don’t need much
Oh well maybe I do
I know I need touch
And care
Your attention too
Don’t tell me you love me
Just your attention will do
Just hug me and take me
If I feel blue
I know I’m not easy
Well neither are you
And I belong to the world
It can’t be only you
Even tho I need a man to belong
Nevertheless I cannot
It will never work out
As I cannot afford to be someone’s girl

I don’t wanna leave my books
And my thoughts forgotten
Somewhere among the dust
When the destiny steps up
And acts nasty
I’m like a cranky child
Who doesn’t know what she wants
But just craving for attention
Of her loving parent
If destiny my mother
Where’s her care?
If destiny my father
Where’s his protection?
If destiny my guardian angel
Where’s his guidance?
I’m lost as never
I’m blank as never
My heart is empty
But only my mind is full of thoughts
And I can never figure out
Which one is right
Or which one is wrong
If I’ve achieved something
Its my complete indecisiveness
The field where I succeed
Never was popular in school
Not really popular when I grew older
Too avant-garde for ordinary
Too simple for the marginals
Always somewhere in the middle
The middle path suits me right
At least it felt always right
But how I want to know exactly
Without guesses
Without mistakes
Oh this seeking of perfection
Where’s it gonna take me
When too afraid to make a step
In any direction really
Anyway something is about to happen
And whatever it is
I’m gonna jump
Into these deep waters
Of new experiences
And have it all
Or nothing at all

Barefoot walk on the grass
Barely need to tell you anything
As you already know everything
Could easily sense any single thing
While I’m singing quietly alone
In my solitude around the strangers
It’s so strange how I’m my only home
My body is the sacred temple
It’s more spiritual then any church
I take my inspiration which is brought by wind
And letting the same flow take me wherever
Complete surrender whatever is the circumstance
Complete surrender for what it takes
Taking my time and slowly contemplating
I’m sharing moments with the one who seeks the truth
I don’t own properties or have any money
But I’m rich, abundant and I’m pure

Chewing on meet without any remorse
Devour everything what crawls
While scrolling feed
Shorten your attention spin
Care about the looks
Who cares about pollution
When these new pair of jeans
Made in Cambodia
Looks so a great on you
Who thinks about Cambodian kids
When you see these 9.99
Everything is fine
In your narrow world
In your narrow mind
We got heated up
Even more then predicted
But how unpredictable
Are you in your new style
Have you seen the met gala looks
Oh my those are just divine
Humans are such hypocrites
We pet those who are immoral to eat
Stop trucks heading to a dog eating festival in China
But serving pigs on our tables
People you have really lost it
Your morality’s sick
Something went wrong long ago
But let’s forget about it
While sipping coffee
Through the plastic straw

Never thought about being myself
Self reflecting my being
And what is it meaning
In this meaningless reality
Unreal hopes, expectations too many
We all thought that we’re special
When we were kids
Childish dreams broke on the walls
Of existence
I’m existing
But barely living
Like everyone else
Had too many demands from this life
Like everyone else
Never wanted to be like everyone else
Like everyone else never wanted to be
Like everyone else, just like me
I’m philosophizing nothing no more
I just wanna go through the door
Of this reality
What is behind
What is hiding there
Is it real the energy qi
Is it empowers me
Or shall I call it kundalini or shakti instead
I was so “no commitment”
But now I’m entangled
With someone who was just a stranger before
Am I worth anything
Am I a little bit talented?
Or just as special as everybody
Wanted to be somebody some day
Well.. sounds like thousand tomorrows to me
To be honest I’m just afraid that there’s nothing left for me
But maybe nothing is already something
Something special
Something the most valuable
Even if it’s not easy to comprehend
Maybe that’s what they call balance
No bad karma
No good karma
Means no karma at all
And settles you free
Ha ha
Very funny
The vanity is pouring out of me
Not realistic, still a dreamer
Still a kiddo
No big plans
No big goals
Just to be
Because I never understand these people
Motivations
What makes them do what they do
Makes them create more content
In this era of informational pollution
Why to make even more
Aren’t we all just toxic
Encouraged by our ego
Supported by our parents’s
Unrealized desires
I wish I had desires
But I don’t feel much
Staying comfortably numb
Well… whatever

I couldn’t sleep last night
Had too much on my mind
All the things that I’ve done
And all which wanted to do
But just didn’t dare to

I want to live life
Feel alive and be wild
I want to feel sun on my cheeks
Wind on my neck
Be all over the place

Be over people
Loyalty to the self
Not other selves
Put myself first
Not otherwise

I’m thirsty for life
While I’m not even thirty
Still kinda young
Still kinda pretty
Well… maybe

I’m no one to judge
So don’t judge me either
Or it might take a while
I’ve got too many nuances
Was born sophisticated

Not lucky in romance
I guess
Not good with money
So with career
Never had one

Something never started
What has no ending
Just melting in the middle
Between decisions
Never taken

Unpopular imposter
Living mannequin
Fake pretty girl
Superficial happiness
In affordable price