What was good was not to last,
‘Though who’s to say that lasting’s right?
A happy heart that’s held too fast
May long for freedoms not as tight.

A man can dream to settle down,
With love behind or at his side.
But when time comes to plant his ground
His dreams uproot, they can’t abide.

His fears and dreams have come to one,
Loving she and freedom too.
And 'though the love is not yet done
The nightmare’s one he can’t undo.

So leave he does, as always done,
The circled clock of time relapse.
But with the future that’s begun
He does it with a heart of scraps.

I’m just a number. That’s all that I’ll be.
Left in the background of what we used to be.
You’ll count and you’ll add, forgetting our prime
And I’ll be locked in here, without a cosine.
I wish I could subtract from the memories we made.
But numbers are constant and you made the grade.
You've moved on to new ones, as a counter does do
But I am affixed to your number two.
If only I could be a letter instead
I’d spell out the feelings you left in my head
But I’m just a number with a value of none
Looking for someone to complete the sum.

Her name was Jana.
And she made me love again.

From the moment of first sight she drew me in,
Like the sea pulls in a seashell
With the strength of a single wave.
I was attached then,
Ready to lose it all
For the sake of a conversation that held no more meaning
Than the gesture of arrival.

But it grew.
It grew with a purpose of unknown regard.
Like a tree toward the sunlight,
It found a meaning in survival.
An affection formerly thought impossible
Now seemed impassable.

Her name was Jana.
And she made me ache again.

Like every broken heart,
The pain sweltered in my chest
Unlike anything that has ever happened before.
Again.
She made me feel how dry the well was
And how thirsty I truly am.
Thirsty for the light I have grown to love and need,
Required for the survival of a life
That only leads to death.
Death now. Death again.

Her name was Jana.
And she helped me live again.

For sensation is the key to living.
With her I felt alive.
Without her I felt dead.
But with feeling comes the realization
That I was never truly living
Until the day I met her.
Life starts today for me,
Alone.
But only for now.

She steals my dreams with her smile.
The lines of happiness, a gleam of perfection
It’s all that I know.
Even the gloss of sadness does not but magnify
The beauty of her eyes
And the soul they mean to represent.
But the beauty of pain cannot be seen
By those who cry the tears
And she does not deserve to hurt
For the sake of those around her.
Life, love, and those too far away
Will bring about her a beauty unwanted
But the happiness will return anew
And my dreams will once again be hers.

I walk along a path of ends,
Still with a hope of use for truth.
And with a knowledge of the bends,
I move along the roads a sleuth.

But what I seek I cannot say,
For lost is not a minded thought.
And ‘though I seem to find my way,
“Lost” is all I’ve seemed to sought.

And when I reach the pathway’s edge,
Of which I knew before I came,
I sigh at sight of fearful ledge,
As if the bust was not my aim.

For lost is he who seeks for truth
On paths of worn and failed depart.
And distant grows the mournful youth;
The seeking lost and hopeful heart.