Josephine Sounds to be graceful
Meant to be wore by elegance
Like a pearl necklace my great grandmother wore
It belonged to her just as much as the pearls
But they will never truly fit around my neck beautiful

Josephine is a daisy
Beautiful and loved and delicate
Grown to be beautiful in a garden with roses and tulips  
I am a **** growing in a place it is told not to
A garden of strong roses covered in thorns

Josephine may not fit me
But that will not make me any less me
I’m still trying to learn that
I will never truly be josephine
But i will find my own value eventually

Her lips so delicate as they curve into a smile
So fake
Her smile tells me I can be happy
Her smile is so perfectly crafted
Like something she has made starring in a mirror
Mirrors lie just like she is

I turn to anouther girl
She is smiling too
Like it's easy being here
Like she is happy now
Happiness isn't a smile
Why the hell is she smiling
Her smile isn't as perfectly crafted
But it is still believable

I don't even bother looking at the other girls smile
She is lying just like the rest
They are all lying
I wanna call them on it
They know they are lying
Recovery is impossible
They lie like its a sport

I smile back a shy one but a smile
Mine is perfectly crafted just like hers
She thinks I can't sniff out
So I smile
Recovery is still impossible
I still smile a perfectly crafted one

Why is the sweet touch of a blade
Sweeter than a
Memory of my beautiful loving father
Why is the emptiness of my stomach
More filling
Than the thought of being happy
Why is the burn of a scratch caused but my nails
Better than feeling anything
Why is the truth you tell yourself
Worse than the sweet lie you hear
Why is the sweet covers of a sheets
More loving than friends
Why is the silent scream of pain
Coming for me every day
Why do i feel so much ******* pain
Every day is pain and more pain and more pain
But why

i miss you
i miss your hands
i miss the way they felt in mine
harsh creases in my soft paintbrushes
with scars and worked hands
tan and strong
holding your daughter's

i miss you
i miss the way you sang to me
i miss the way your voice soothed me
your voice carrying me away from the nightmares
with hurt you sang
you didn't want me to have nightmares
so you sang

i miss you
i miss your heart beat
i miss the way you let me sleep on your left
next to your heart
a beat so strong it drowned out mine
mine beats differently because of you
mine beats to be held
to take it all good and bad
to carry hurt and love

i can not sing but i can listen now
listen to the hurt
listen as they sing
listen as the world sings that beautiful song of pain

i can never have strong hands like yours
they will never throw the punches you could
they will be my paintbrushes
held by the memory of a father who loved me once