Oh god
Why am I so shaky?
Oh god
Spilled a few more red dots on the floor.
Oh god
Better rinse the blade.
Oh god
I better
Stop
I mean
Make them collide again.
Oh god
I should
…..wait.....
I should NOT tell my parents.
Oh god
I need
HELP
I mean yeah I am fine.
I don't cry myself to sleep every night.
Oh god
This feels painful
Wait no
Amazing.
Oh god thank you
for making the cuts take the pictures away.
Even for a minute.
Oh god
Let this feeling stay forever.
And the suicidal thought stay back.
So I can live in peace.

I still do hate the fact that I just breathed another breath 
And 
I hate the way I have to put my insecurities on someone else 
and 
I hate the way I can't just be happy I am me
And
I hate that having you doesn't fill me with joy
And
I might just be empty
but 
I like the way that time moves on 
and
I like how people forget
And 
I like that I still have you
And
I like the face you make when you try not to smile
And
Don't be offended if I don't smile back
It's just me