Dawson S: Poems

Dawson S Feb 2019

All I’ve ever needed
Was a late night answer
A call
A word
I stay up waiting
Waiting for you to come back
For anyone to
Countless nights spent this way
Even the shadows
Never drown my thoughts
Even the ceiling
Never looks back

At the end of my life.

Dawson S May 2019

At the end of my life.

Within my presence
I feel a great void is to be filled
And I stare into the empty light
And I blink to the eruption of my heart
And in this moment, I present myself
With two options:
Fulfill my written life
Or break under the weight of the pen.

Breaking and Entering

Dawson S Aug 2019

Breaking and Entering

Sadness finds another door
An opportunity, perhaps
To make you feel whole
In all the insecurities
You hold close
But closing the door
Only reveals another
Wedged under your life
Like the deep engraving
Of a choked up routine

Dreading Forever

Dawson S Jan 2020

Dreading Forever

Fostered in the dark sunset of a fleeting dream
Break down the explanation of a contemplative being
Inside the mind of an adopted hell
Beginning and ending with the absence of self
Wash my feet in the muddy tides risen by the moon
Wash my life in the wavering shadows, a great distance that forever looms
Fascinated by the darkness, the blind
Or a peaceful end
That will never arrive

Drowning.

Dawson S Jan 2019

Drowning.

Dripping roses, each droplet ripples across the pond
Scarring the surface
How many do you want?
One, to bleed as a reminder of the muddy uproar from a stirring
Two, to recede away from the shore as the tide pulls at my thoughts
Three, to blur all my visions as I stay under and under I will remain
For one was my first
And three will be my last
Won’t it?
I float to the surface, back first
Revealing all the scars that hid under the moss
Bubbling mumbles fade as does the final ripple
The roses,
Engulfed.

Good Morning

Dawson S Jan 2019

Good Morning

As I roll over,
I expect to meet my lips with yours
And to pull you close
As the morning cold engulfs us.
I expect to laugh with you
And to smile
As you stretch, and the sigh of relief,
I feel too.
I expect you to rub your nose on mine,
To remind me I have something
To wake up for
And my heart warms as you do.
This morning, I woke up alone.
On my half-made bed.
Cold, unwelcome by my own warmth.
No amount of stretching will relieve
The crick in my neck.
Why am I even awake?

Happy Gathering.

Dawson S Jan 2019

Happy Gathering.

Slow motion, the first feeling of waking up
Weightless on the smokey breaths from the sweet fruit the night before
Jaded at first, brought to life by the orange and white sky of a summer’s reaching arm
Grasping you until every inch fills with warmth, a warmth only felt by
Trust
Brush the crushed blush away
Fear nothing but the minute on a comical level
You are in tune
As are the waves of truth playing sweet melodies into your opinions of the world
The people
The men and the women
Wishful bliss leaves you as you are dropped from the sun into the rain
Happy gathering.

I can’t believe you.

Dawson S Jan 2019

I can’t believe you.

I could never believe you,
For I have nothing to trust.
Nothing to hold
As though it were my own.
To feel, together as we do
On a breezy Saturday afternoon.
When I believed in what you’d say
I believed in who you were
And I’d follow you all my days.
A trustworthy companion,
I beg, poison me again.

Love (And What I’m Learning)

Dawson S May 2019

Love (And What I’m Learning)

I realize today
That emotion is always fleeting
As are the people
And the places
And the meanings
You were always meant to leave
I was never meant to stay
He wants to move on
She takes it day by day
And as I wait for the next ending
I can only hope for a new beginning

Love (And What I’m Learning) II

Dawson S Jan 2020

Love (And What I’m Learning) II

Together doesn’t carry the same weight
And I stare into your eyes
And the heart begins to fade
I feel it deeply within my chest
An empty canvas
An empty mess
You say to me that you feel numb
I understand
I come undone
I wish you’d tell me what eats away
At the gentle soul
At the words you say

Mirror

Dawson S Jan 2019

Mirror

I’d hate to tell you
What you’ve done
To ruin the image of you
In the mirror you love
To ruin the things you hold onto
Be bitter or sweet
The image of blind truth
The image of me
My image that you ruined
With your carving lies
My image has loosened
He left and has died

Ocean, Pull Me Apart

Dawson S Oct 2020

Ocean, Pull Me Apart

I wish I was floating
Above an ocean
And listening to the waves break
In two small pieces, my soul lives
Learning to cope with the fact
That I can’t separate them
Ocean,
Pull me apart

On Leaving The Ruins

Dawson S Jan 2020

On Leaving The Ruins

A person’s absence
Shows me the way
To the ruins

Where my skin feels loose
My eyes feels heavy
My intentions are to say goodbye

I want to leave the ruins
The way you left
My fear consumes the idea

It’s easier to stay and face the music than to leave and release vultures on my coherency

The Hole in the Tree

Dawson S Jan 2019

The Hole in the Tree

Allowing light to dance upon the marble rings of a beating tune,
The hole in the tree was made for me and for you.
To warm my shade, a hollow brigade of disdain, pained by the shallow dreams of a young man.
A young man who’s life may be nothing with, nothing without, or possibly everything as a result of the playful light strand.
Gleaming with joy, woe is he who tastes the bitter butter of false promises.
For promises made to him, by him, for him, lead to gods and goddesses.
Giving life to the tree - taking life.
And with the butter, I take thee to a hot knife.

The Same Way

Dawson S May 2019

The Same Way

I will never lie in bed the same way
I did when I was younger
I will never appreciate the silence
The way I did when I wasn’t afraid of it
And as I roll from side to side
I dream of these times
And I squeeze my eyes shut
Revealing the loss I’ll never share

True Love.

Dawson S Jan 2019

True Love.

I’m falling
And you’re not
The vast ocean spills from my brim
And from you, whispers so paper thin
As I calm you to a still, hopeful pond
And from you, only a reflection of the thought
That maybe I could breathe under water, love
And from you, a filled bottle about to bust
It shatters, broken glass burrows deep
And from you, shining, never as you seem
I shattered and you did not
This isn’t the story I thought
Nor anticipated
And from you, no surprise your wounds have already faded

Wandering People

Dawson S Nov 2019

Wandering People

Wandering woman
Wandering face
Keep on looking
For that place
Spinning head
On and on
Change instead
I don’t belong

We Feel Too

Dawson S Jan 2019

We Feel Too

We feel too
The way you treat my heart
The pulsating, life giving, Petri dish
of love
We feel too
The way you rock back and forth
When your heart aches like mine
We feel too
The way you caress my rosy cheek
When you need to feel it as much as I do
Yes, we feel it too
The unanswered question
The expectation
Then, subsequently, the explanation
Oh, yes, we feel it too.
Sit awhile, won’t you?

Will I Exist?

Dawson S Jan 2020

Will I Exist?

The sounds you possess
Move through the harmonies you don’t
Melding into melodies
Drifting, as if to say:
“One day I’ll be yours, without you.”

Within, Without Magic

Dawson S Jan 2019

Within, Without Magic

The world stays at a constant state of
Within, without magic
Within the beauty of nature
The unfamiliarity of variety
The indecisive nature of choice
And without the simplicity of love
The acceptance of the individual
The realism of dreams
As I breathe this air, its apologetic indifference
scolds me
Nothing will ever be magical unless it is made so

— The End —