Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
It really terrifies me, you know? The fact that you already know me so well and eventually you'll know me inside and out. Letting people in has never been an easy task for me. I always hated the idea of the other person having an upper hand, something to hold over me. You know my favorite songs and how my eyes will light up if you were ever to turn them on in your car. You know my favorite books and the parts I read more than once, just because they were that good. You know how I like my poetry, emotion so tense and raw you can cut it with a knife. You know the way I awkwardly laugh when I can't find the words to explain my thoughts to you. You know what I don't like about myself, but more importantly, you know what I love about myself. You know of the things I don't really like to talk about and you understand, you understand the way I've hurt. You know the movies I like and which ones I have on replay. You know that on most days, I'm one wrong move away from insane, but you like me anyways. You know that I tell a lot of pointless stories but you still look at me with a fire in your eye, as if I'm telling you your favorite story from when you were a child. You know of my dark past but you also know of my bright future. You know of the way I once hated myself and beat myself up, you now know of the way I love myself and treat my body like a temple. You know of the stupid stories from when I was a child and you somehow find them funny. You know of my goals, my dreams, and where I hope to see myself one day. You know of my flaws, my imperfections, and my little mishaps. You know of the weird habits I have that I would rather not have most people aware of... I must ask, "Why me?"
You know all of this, and somehow you're still here.
  Nov 2014 Dawnevyn J River
Devon Webb
If I were ever
to damage
myself
it would only be
so that I
could bleed
poetry.
  Nov 2014 Dawnevyn J River
Simpleton
She laughs too hard 
She laughs too much 
But she's waiting for death 
And lives to die another day 

She believed in faeries 
And rainbows
Glitter made everything glow 
And laughing made everything seem okay

She forgets too less
And pretends too hard 
So she runs as fast as she can 
From the past 

Until her lungs burn 
Then places her hands on her chest
To feel her heart thump
Like the fear of giving up
Dawnevyn J River Nov 2014
I wish I could hold your hand without my palms sweating or my fingers shaking
I wish I could look you in the eye without having my insides ache with the feeling of man eating butterflies
I wish I could think about you without my head spinning
I wish I could read your sweet messages without crying because my anxiety does not deserve love, and sometimes anxiety is all I am.
  Jul 2014 Dawnevyn J River
firexscape
Falling in love
Is messed up enough
But when you fall in love with madness
It is a twisted sort of hell
It's not unlikely,
Oh no
Madness is a seducer
Holding the key to your soul
When you fall for insanity
You're drowning and gasping for air
Yet laughing and imploring
To be pulled further down,
Torn further and further
Away from your mind


But there is one thing you should know
Madness never will
Love you back
It's not catchy; insanity doesn't have to be
  Jul 2014 Dawnevyn J River
ili
it seems I am out of place
filled with vacant conversations
and a weary heart
I'm not suicidal
but
I don't want to breath,
Breathing is thinking
I don't want to think.
I don't want to feel.
it seems I am out of place
and a weary heart and heavy mind are not easily mended with vacant conversations
I'm not suicidal
I just want this void to fill.
anxiety is another form of fear
that keeps me frozen
10w
Next page