Can't stop thinking about the things that i miss about you..
Can't understand the idea of us not being together anymore..
Can't tell what if what i miss is real or is it only because i'm a mess..

Then i asked myself million times, what do i really miss?

Is it your Smile?, Is it your Eyes?, Is it your Existence?, Is it your Vibes?, Is it your Kiss?, Is it your Touch?, Is it your Lips?, Is it your Voice?, Is it your Laugh?, Is it your Jokes?, Is it your Humor?, Is it your Anxiety?, Is it your weird Faces?, Is it your gen gen gen?, Is it your Teasing?, Is it your Music?, Is it your Singings?, Is it your Notes?, Is it your Cuddling?, Is your thoughts?, Is your ideas?, is your Thinking?, Is it your Poems?, Is it your Philosophy?, Is it your Calls?, is it your Hiiiii?, Is it your stories?, Is it your caring?, Is it your iced coffee with milk?, Is it Cigarettes?, Is it your Dancing?, Is it your Korean food?, Is it you sitting in my car?, Is it your Anxious?, Is it your Cough?, Is it your Knowledge?, Is it your Photography?, Is it your Outfit?, Is it your Beauty?, Is it your look?, Is it your Dreams?, Is it your talks?, is it your Skin?, iIs it your Meditations?, Is it your tears on my chest?, Is it your face?, Is it your nails?, Is it your selfies with me?, Is it your Smell?, is it your Perfume?, Is it your Breath?, Is it your Drawings?, Is it your Rap?, Is it your salmon?, Is it your Takies?, Is it your Korean music?, Is it your Emojies?, Is it your Voice notes?, is it your Smile?, is it your Hair?, is it you 11:11 moment?, or is it your love?..
​
I know it's too late already, but i just want to let it out of my mind..

You cared about one

Yourself and none

I wish if I had a gun

To end it before it began

I could've won

But the vibes were already gone

and the game was done

so I kept telling myself run boy run

but I keep asking myself, can the damage undone?

I don’t know how many thoughts or letters I have thought about or wrote.
What I know is that the end is near.

People think that I am a drama, or taking things more serious than it should be.
Well, what I know is that the end is near. When the end is here, all their thoughts will be vanished.
The end is near.

I have been making wrong decisions way too much than often. Hurting people around me. All my friends get tired listen to my complaints.
But the end is near.

I am trapped into my body, in particular in my mind. I have built up the worst image of myself.
People thought that I am not serious, that I need to grow up, that I am spoiled, that I am lacking self-confidence, that I am pretending being sick, that I am selfish, that I am rude.
Well, the end is near.

I have loved, cared, for years and years. No one saw those efforts, because I have been always giving the worse version of me. I wish if they feel. Well, it doesn’t matter, because the end is near.

The end is near.
The end is near.
The end is here..

I'm fed up of that feeling inside me
I'm fed up of missing you
I'm fed up of living on the idea of we will be back again one day
I'm fed up of this emptiness inside
I'm fed up of not know what I really miss
I'm fed up of me acting that everything is okay
I'm fed up of the people’s looks at me
I'm fed up of hiding **** inside me
I'm fed up of me being dumb when you are around and I can't be myself

I'm just fed up of many things but never from you.

I didn’t know that my life will be this dark without you.

Everything remind me of you, latterly everything.

And i miss everything about you, your eyes, your hug, your touch, your lips, your kiss, your smell and perfume, your texts, your emojis, your laugh, your voice and your heart.

I know that you needed this space to heal and clear your mind, and I know that i was aggressive in the begging coz I having fights and war inside my head.

I didn’t fight back to cancel this break because I was afraid of pressure you and lose you.

I’ve never loved someone the way I loved you and i don’t think that I would.

I wish you come back very soon, because I really need you in my life.

My stars and oceans.