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Ashlee Dec 2024
The memory of you becomes obsolete
The memories we share, I am forgetting
The dreams we had, fade away
The wonder of you, I still love

Let the tears run down inside
Nothing seems to keep your memory
You are becoming a lost chapter
Yet I still love, love you as the days go by

I look you up every now and then
Photos of when you made me happy
What you looked like to keep you with me
As the days go by

I have loved you, I know I have
As the days go by, I forget you
You have became a distant memory
As the days go by, I say goodbye
Ashlee Dec 2024
ROT
Love, I was hopeful for
I wanted to hold and cherish
Breathe the air of forever passion that awaited me
It was beautiful, it was real

One after another, darkness fell
Gave my heart, all, let my colors show
no one wanted, rot
I gave my body away to fill those voids

Rejected by those that did not want me
Taken by those I was close and pursued

I want to let it all burn
Obliterate couples, no love for me
let my heart bleed black
No one can fix me now

Turn me down and let me paint it all black
bust me wide open, and reject me
It's what I'm used to, decay
Once heart of gold is now heart of rot
This one is a slightly darker poem that I wrote. Its my whole take on what my experience of love has been for me. As you can see, I have some jealousy in there. I am dearly happy for those that can find happiness with someone. Having a significant other is something so precious, you wish to not ruin it. Yet somehow, it gets ******* up, because of trauma, cheating, loss of love, etc. My Poems so far have reflected on that, couple of those are songs I wrote. People say to me all the time, " you will find the right one" " You just have not found the right one yet" " When you least expect it, it will come to you" I have heard it all. These poems or songs you will be seeing, is simply me venting. I hope someone can appreciate it or find some light, because I know I am not alone.
Ashlee Dec 2024
Used and Abused
Iam use to, nothing to fill the void
All I want is to be loved(Break Me)
One after another I was tossed

This unchained melody of fallen hope
Once were dreams of mine have become nothing
Once again, I'm back at square one
And so, it begins

Let me shake this feeling
Let me find another body to have
Take me to a paradise
that I have only ever known
Break me down

Pump my heart with the venom of false hope
Dig deeper in me and pry me open
to use and to manipulate
Bring me back to square one
Let me repeat this cycle

Let me shake this feeling
Let me find another body to have
Take me to a paradise
that I have only ever known
Break me down

Let me be used it's what I'm accustomed to, tossed around, touched
Let me relive my broken melody of fallen hope, once again
Ashlee Dec 2024
Can I just point a gun to myself?
Not sure how much hurt I can take
Not sure how much of this life I can handle
Can I let this instrument whom I call Life, take its toll to **** oneself?

I have sang a song that pleases the heart
I have told the harp to go pluck its heart strings
Then I have told a violin to play, go play lies
This is not art, art would not do us apart
A deadly symphony begins

After the violin had played its lies
The orchestra halted, abruptly stops
The harp continued to play; miserably
The violin fought for the harp, suffocating its heart strings

With strings detached from the harp, broken
Violins strings started becoming broken
Violin cried, wept, and tried to piece her strings back together
The maestro hugged the violin, and began to piece her strings

With every string became the maestro’s project
With every string became resistance to heal
The resistance becomes a theme to the violin
Harp could not play anymore with an instrument he no longer wants

Amid fixing her strings, she stops
Stops caring, the pain becomes herself
Stops tuning, to find her sound
Another deadly symphony plays

Violin stops tuning, her bow begins to deteriorate
She tries to salvage what is left of her bow
She drowns her sorrow to cover, numb, hide the pain
She ruins her well-being with smoke to numb more
She finds a partner to celebrate her pain, to suffocate

She finds herself, in a darker realm
Nothing seems to suffice her soul anymore
In a world where she continues to ****** herself more
She slips into another world, twilight zone

Will the end, ever come? Will there even be peace, silence?
I just want to take a knife to my flesh
Let to music pour out onto the floor, for everyone to see
I feel the end drawing near, the beauty of numb, death

As for now, I’ll let the deadly symphony play
A deadly symphony written by someone
Fears in rejection, lies with a purpose
Abandonment becomes the violin forever

Give me Heaven, Give me Hell, Give me a handgun
I’ll decide

— The End —